11 Reasons Why People Over 40 Should Be Dead

. . . Author unknown. Email lore collected six years ago. I have modified it slightly. (It's folklore. That's what you do.)


According to today's regulators and bureaucrats, those of us who were kids in the 1970s or earlier probably shouldn't have survived. Here's why:

1. Our baby cribs were covered with lead-based paint.

2. We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles.

3. We rode our bikes without helmets.

4. Sometimes we hitchhiked.

5. We rode in cars with no child safety seats and no air bags. Sometimes, as a special treat, we rode in the back of an open pickup.

6. We drank water from a garden hose.

7. We drank soda pop with sugar in it.

8. We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle.

9. We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the street lights came on. No one was able to reach us all day. We had no cell phones. Imagine that!

10. We did not have Nintendo, Playstation, or X-Box; no 2,000 channels on cable, no home movies on DVD, no surround sound, no personal computers, no internet chat rooms. We had friends! We went outside and found them.

11. We fell out of trees, got cut and broke bones and teeth, and there were no lawsuits from these accidents. They were accidents. Remember accidents?

People under 40 are wimps!

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Eye Halve a Spell Chequer

. . . Collected some years ago as a specimen of "email lore." As one who supports English spelling reform, and believes that rigid adherence to the notion of "correct" spelling is somewhat silly at times, I do acknowledge the difficulties that can accompany one who ignores intelligent spelling conventions.


Eye halve a spell chequer

Eye halve a spelling chequer
It came with my pea sea
It plainly marques four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.

Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write
It shows me strait a weigh.

As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
And eye can put the error rite
Its rarely ever wrong.

Eye have run this poem threw it
I am shore your pleased two no
Its letter perfect in it’s weigh
My chequer tolled me sew.

-- Sauce unknown

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