11 Reasons Why People Over 40 Should Be Dead

. . . Author unknown. Email lore collected six years ago. I have modified it slightly. (It's folklore. That's what you do.)


According to today's regulators and bureaucrats, those of us who were kids in the 1970s or earlier probably shouldn't have survived. Here's why:

1. Our baby cribs were covered with lead-based paint.

2. We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles.

3. We rode our bikes without helmets.

4. Sometimes we hitchhiked.

5. We rode in cars with no child safety seats and no air bags. Sometimes, as a special treat, we rode in the back of an open pickup.

6. We drank water from a garden hose.

7. We drank soda pop with sugar in it.

8. We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle.

9. We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the street lights came on. No one was able to reach us all day. We had no cell phones. Imagine that!

10. We did not have Nintendo, Playstation, or X-Box; no 2,000 channels on cable, no home movies on DVD, no surround sound, no personal computers, no internet chat rooms. We had friends! We went outside and found them.

11. We fell out of trees, got cut and broke bones and teeth, and there were no lawsuits from these accidents. They were accidents. Remember accidents?

People under 40 are wimps!

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10 Reasons why Shopping at TomFolio.com is Better than Shopping at Amazon

. . . I am speaking to those on the internet who are looking for reputable used bookdealers. Those of you who are looking for a place to purchase groceries, stuffed animals, auto parts or such, this list is not for you.

1. TomFolio.com is The Bookstore at the Center of the Universe. It is owned and operated by a cooperative of independent bookdealers (click here for more on our history) and has remained true to its goal to be a simple website where booklovers and bookdealers can come together and conduct business the old fashioned way.

2. Talk to a real person before you buy. Our dealers may be contacted by phone, email, or even snail mail. No need to go through a third party to get your questions answered.

3. Dedicated to books. TomFolio.com is for used books, periodicals, paper ephemera and related media. That's what we know and love. We do not sell washing machines, car insurance, scented candles or anything like that.

4. No gimmicks. Just good old-fashioned bookselling.

5. Serious specialists. Many of our dealers are experts in their fields. Pick their brains!

6. Less expensive books. Amazon charges its bookdealers commissions, monthly fees, variable closing fees, etc., and many of their vendors raise their prices on that site to compensate. Often you can find the same book listed at TomFolio.com for a much lower price.

7. Independence. Because TomFolio.com is dealer owned and operated, you always know who you're dealing with. We are not subject to mergers, buyouts, or corporate shenanigans. If you are one of the growing number of consumers who are committed to buying from independent stores and mom-and-pop shops, TomFolio.com is the place for you.

8. No stock photos. Amazon displays images of books which may be new or used, top condition or poor condition, and may even show a different edition than what is listed for sale. TomFolio.com does not allow stock photos so you know exactly what you're getting before you buy.

9. No fake books; no mega-listers. Some so-called bookdealers list thousands, even millions of titles but have no actual books in stock. After you order, they scramble to find something to ship to you. Sometimes you get what you ordered, sometimes you get something different, and sometimes you don't get anything at all (click here for more information on mega-listers). We at TomFolio.com believe this is fraud. We do not allow fake books or mega-listers on our site.

10. High ethical standards. If you run into an unscrupulous dealer on Amazon, there is, of course, a system in place there through which you can get a refund. We here at TomFolio.com go one better: we thoroughly screen applicants before they're allowed to join. All our dealers guarantee 100% customer satisfaction and stand by it every day. We have a complaint rate so small it is hardly measurable.

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44 Rude Names for Hummers

. . . collected from friends, enemies, and various sources.

According to Keith Bradsher, author of High and Mighty: SUVs: The World's Most Dangerous Vehicles and How They Got That Way, one in every six new vehicles sold in the US in 2002 was a Sport Utility Vehicle.

Of course there are rude names for all sorts of cars, but the Humvee, being the biggest, ugliest, most gas-guzzling SUV on the road, is of necessity singled out for special attention. (Please contact me if I have left any really funny, really rude names off this list, thanks!)

The Droll Names

1. bummer
2. dummer
3. S-U-K
4. F-U-Vehicle

The Abomination

5. two-space hog
6. three-ton brick
7. pavement-hogging beast
8. big mofo
9. monstrosity
10. land yacht
11. heavyweight
12. gargantuan
13. behemoth
14. rolling horror
15. biggest choad on the road

The Assault Vehicle

16. urban tank
17. plastic tank
18. death machine

The Ego Machine

19. dick mobile
20. small-penis mobile
21. white trash rig

The Piece of Sh*t

22. sh*tbox
23. slab of sh*t
24. five-ton rolling brick of sh*t
25. giant steaming pile of sh*t
26. turdmobile

The Polluter

27. smog machine
28. planet killer
29. earth f*cker
30. earthraper
31. planet raper
32. pollute-o-car
33. chariot of greed
34. crime against nature
35. ultimate gas guzzler
36. gas-guzzling carbon-emitting oil-dragging monstrosity

The Uglymobile

37. ugly brick
38. ugly rubbish skip
49. ugly truck
40. gaudy heap of crap
41. unsightly hunk of sh*t
42. overrated Tonka toy
43. chrome-fanged monster
44. parody of a car

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92 Feminine and Masculine Word Pairs

. . . I have collected hundreds of these word pairs but only 92 are listed below.

The separation and exclusion of women by men has led to the creation of countless words which are defined (by men) as the feminine version of some masculine job. Thus was born this list.

Without writing a full-on essay about the truly pointless and offensive phenomenon of sexism and all its social implications, I'll just say that, while I do not accept the notion that either sex should be treated as inferior to the other, I am fascinated by some of the very ridiculous gender-specific words that have been invented to perpetuate this notion. Of particular interest are the examples in which the feminine form carries a negative or lower-class connotation as compared to the masculine form (for example: governess / governor) and the examples in which a word has been given an unnecessary suffix or has been twisted into a nearly unpronounceable shape in order to change its gender (for example: chauffeurette / chauffeur).

For this list, I have listed the feminine version of each word first, followed by its masculine equivalent, separated by a slash. If there are multiple forms of one gender, they are listed together, separated by a comma. If there is a commonly accepted gender-inclusive or gender-neutral term, it is listed last, after a triple slash. Comments and definitions follow (in parentheses). Terms that are slang or recently coined are marked with an asterisk (*).


Feminine term / Masculine term /// neutral or inclusive term

1. abbess / abba, abbas, abbot

2. accoucheuse / accocheur /// midwife

3. alumna / alumnus /// alum

4. amicular* / avuncular

5. ancestress / ancestor

6. anglerette / angler /// fisher

7. authoress / author /// author

8. aviatrix, aviatress / aviator

9. bachelorette / bachelor /// single

10. beach bunny / beach bum

11. best woman / best man (see also bridesmaid, bride's attendant)

12. birth / beget

13. bitchma* / dogma

14. bitchmatic* / dogmatic

15. bride / bridegroom, groom

16. bridesmaid, maid of honor, matron of honor / best man, groomsman (see also best woman, bride's attendant)

17. bride's attendant / groom's attendant

18. cateress / caterer

19. centaurette / centaur /// rider (see also equestrienne)

20. chauffeurette, chauffeuse / chauffeur

21. coed / student /// student

22. coiffeuse / coiffeur

23. comedienne / comedian

24. courtesan / courtier

25. creatrix / creator

26. cujette* / cujine* (US slang, from Italian: homegirl / homeboy)

27. czaritsa, czarina / czar

28. danseuse / danseur

29. divorcée / divorcé

30. doctoress / doctor /// doctor

31. doyenne / doyen

32. dudette* / dude

33. dweebette* / dweeb

34. editrix / editor

35. eldress / elder

36. electress / elector

37. emerita / emeritus

38. equestrienne, equestriette / equestrian /// rider (see also centaurette)

39. executrix / executor

40. farmerette / farmer /// farmer

41. femcee* / emcee

42. feminization / guy-ization*

43. fiancée / fiancé

44. gal, doll, guyette* / guy

45. geekess* / geek

46. giantess / giant

47. governess / governor

48. grumpette* / grump

49. guardess / guard

50. gynocentric* / androcentric*

51. heroine, shero*, hera* / hero /// protagonist

52. herstory* / history

53. homegirl, homette* / homeboy, homey

54. housewife / househusband*

55. inheritrix, inheritress / inheritor

56. institutrix / institutor

57. Latina / Latino

58. lumberjill / lumberjack

59. maestra / maestro

60. maid, maidservant / servant, manservant

61. majorette / major

62. manageress / manager

63. matrimony / patrimony

64. matron, patroness / patron

65. mayoress / mayor /// mayor

66. mediatrix, mediatress / mediator

67. misandrist / misogynist

68. mistress / master

69. murderess / murderer

70. Negress / Negro

71. neif / serf

72. ogress / ogre

73. procuress / procurer

74. paintress / painter /// painter

75. prima ballerina / premier danseur

76. prioress / prior

77. protectress, protectrice / protector

78. protégée / protégé

79. seamstress / seamster, tailor

80. servitress / servitor

81. scripteuse / scriptwriter

82. shrewdom / dronedom* (coined by author Mary Daly)

83. starlet / star /// star

84. stewardess / steward /// flight attendant

85. temptress / temptor

86. treasuress / treasurer

87. tsaritsa, tsarina / tsar

88. usherette / usher

89. waitress / waiter /// waitperson, waitron, server

90. wifey, hussy / hubby

91. wimpette* / wimp

92. yankette / yankee /// yank

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28 Nicknames for Detroit Neighborhoods

. . . I grew up in the suburbs of Detroit and we suburban kids didn't seem to actually go into Detroit all that much, so I never learned these names or places. Now I do business in Detroit and go to church in Detroit and I hear these names in conversation quite a lot.

People were sometimes aghast when I told them that I didn't know what part of Detroit they were talking about when they said things like "Boston-Edison" or "Rosedale Park." So, of course, I started a list. I learned that there are in fact over 50 nicknames for various Detroit neighborhoods. I have listed just the ones I hear the most, or find the most interesting, along with their main intersections or border streets.

1. Art Center -- Woodward and Warren; includes Detroit Institute of Arts, Library, several large museums

2. Bagley -- bounded by West Outer Drive to the north, Livernois to the east, 6 Mile Road to the south, and Wyoming to the west

3. Black Bottom (destroyed 1960s) -- bounded by Gratiot Avenue, Brush Street, Vernor Highway, and the Grand Trunk railroad

4. Boston-Edison -- four streets: Boston, Chicago, Longfellow, and Edison; stretching from Woodward Avenue on the east to Linwood on the west; ritzy homes built 1905-1925, no two alike

5. Brick Town -- Larned and Brush, between Greektown and the Renaissance Center

6. Brightmoor -- from Puritan and Schoolcraft Roads between Telegraph and Evergreen

7. Brush Park -- 24-block area bounded by Mack on the north, Woodward on the west, Beaubien on the east, and the Fisher Freeway on the south.

8. Cass Corridor -- along Cass Avenue from I-75 (south end) to Wayne State University (north end) between Woodward and 3rd Street

9. Chaldean Town -- runs along 7 Mile Road from Woodward Avenue east to John R.

10. Chinatown -- Peterboro and 2nd Street

11. Corktown -- Michigan Avenue and 6th Street

12. Cultural Center -- Warren and Woodward

13. Eastern Market -- Gratiot and Russell

14. Foxtown -- about one mile north of the Renaissance Center, with Grand Circus Park located at its hub, and encompassing the Kales Building, Comerica Park, and Ford Field

15. Greektown -- Monroe and Saint Antoine

16. Indian Village -- bounded on the north and south by Mack and East Jefferson, respectively, along the streets of Burns, Iroquois, and Seminole

17. Medical Center -- Mack and Woodward

18. Mexicantown -- Porter and Bagley, one block north of the Ambassador Bridge

19. Midtown -- new name applied by city, to improve its image, to a large section encompassing Brush Park, Cass Corridor, Medical Center, Art Center; it is bounded by the Ford, Chrysler, Fisher, and Lodge Freeways

20. New Center -- West Grand Boulevard and 2nd Street

21. North End -- bounded by Woodward to the west, the city of Highland Park to the north, the Chrysler Freeway to the east, and East Grand Boulevard to the south

22. Old Redford -- stretches from Five Points east to Greenfield Road and from 8 Mile Road to Schoolcraft; annexed by Detroit in 1926; center is Grand River and Lahser

23. Palmer Woods -- bounded by 7 Mile Road, 8 Mile Road, Woodward, and the Sherwood Forest neighborhood

24. Poletown (destroyed 1981) -- bordered on Hamtramck

25. Renaissance Center -- tallest building in Detroit, headquarters of General Motors, although this fact is not on GM's website or in their marketing

26. Rivertown -- East Jefferson and Rivard

27. Rosedale Park -- 5 Mile Road and Southfield in northwest Detroit

28. Warrendale -- bounded by Joy Road to the north, Ford Road to the south, Greenfield to the east and the River Rouge to the west.

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Busy Busy Busy

Hi all, haven't been able to blog much lately because I keep buying more books. Books have to be catalogued, and then people tend to buy them, then orders have to be filled and books have to be wrapped up and shipped. It's a never ending grind.

Oh, of course, sometimes I read one of the books before I sell it. Yesterday I read Anti-Slavery, by Dwight Lowell Dumond. Well, okay, I didn't read the entire book, but I read large chunks of it while I catalogued it. Very in-depth history, just the way I like it.

Before that I read Great Sayings by Great Lawyers, by G. J. Clark. The author was obviously a lawyer first and a historian second, but still, he compiled quite a lively book. This one was published in 1922 and is full of little-known facts and nuggets.

Today I made a nice purchase of about 30 more books. I have to get them catalogued as soon as possible so I'm signing off for now.

Cheers,
Book Doctor Gwen

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Eye Halve a Spell Chequer

. . . Collected some years ago as a specimen of "email lore." As one who supports English spelling reform, and believes that rigid adherence to the notion of "correct" spelling is somewhat silly at times, I do acknowledge the difficulties that can accompany one who ignores intelligent spelling conventions.


Eye halve a spell chequer

Eye halve a spelling chequer
It came with my pea sea
It plainly marques four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.

Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write
It shows me strait a weigh.

As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
And eye can put the error rite
Its rarely ever wrong.

Eye have run this poem threw it
I am shore your pleased two no
Its letter perfect in it’s weigh
My chequer tolled me sew.

-- Sauce unknown

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4 More Reasons Why ATT Sucks

. . . More on how AT&T slammed my DSL and made my email cease to function.

My DSL (high-speed internet connection) was slammed by AT&T (taken over without my permission) on or about November 23, 2009. The minute it was slammed I had no internet connection. Two days later ATT's robot said my "new service" was "up" and it wasn't. That day I spent two hours on the phone with ATT pinheads getting my connection back up, but my email still did not work.

(See my post on November 28, 2009 for more on this 2-hour phone call.)

Well, time passed, the holidays came and went, and I tackled the problem again on January 7, 2010.

This time I was on the phone with them for over four hours (well, in a chat room for half an hour, then on the phone for three and a half hours).

And guess what? It still does not work. Not only that, but the workaround that the Level 3 tech set up for me does not work, either.

Date: January 7, 2010

Start Time: 6:54 pm

I went to the online tech support chatroom that was emailed to me by AT&T to talk to an AT&T tech person to try to solve my email problem again.

Talked to Ryan. I said: "Hello, Ryan. I am a DSL customer and I was told I would be able to use the email address I have had for seven years, but can't get it to send."

He said, "Ms. Foss, I am sorry you are experiencing this issue and will be happy to assist you. Do not worry, I will provide you all the information. Do you have AT&T provided e-mail address?"

I said, "yes, I do, and I have already tried to set it up, but missing something in the settings."

He said, "Ms. Foss, what is your e-mail address?" I gave him the ATT email address I had just set up, that I never had any intention of using, which I shall refer to as "P~".

He said, "I will provide you all the information" and asked me for the answer to my security questions. I answered.

He sent me to a website and told me to log in. I said, "Okay, but it wants my yahoo ID. Am I giving it my yahoo name or my ATT name?"

He said, "No, please use your AT&T provided e-mail address." I did so.

"Are you able to login there?" Yes.

"Now try to send a test e-mail to your own e-mail address and let me know the result."

I said, "okay, where is the email feature on this page?"

He said "click on the mail tab."

I said, "sorry, i don't see a mail tab. which corner is it in?"

He said, "What options do you see there?" I listed a bunch of them.

He told me to sign out, then sent me to a new website

I asked, "Do i log in as P~ again?" Yes.

I got an "Invalid password" message.

He said, "Please use P~ there and password of this account."

This time I got "Invalid email" message. Tried again and it worked, must have typed it wrong.

He said, "check your email folders."

I said, "it says i have no emails in my inbox" and added: "well this is a new email address i have not ever used. it was kind of forced upon me. what i want to use is the email i have had for the past 7 years, which is gwenfoss@netrek.net. currently it will receive but can't send. this need to be configured to send."

He said, what email client am I using? (Boy, if I were a computer newbie that would be too much freakin' jargon.)

I said Eudora. (Part of me knew that at this point I knew he would say that he can't help me with Eudora).

He said, "I need to inform you that we do not have any tools to configure your e-mail client in Eudora, However I will provide you all the settings to configure the e-mail account."

He then said, "You need to use the SMTP server of AT&T and POP server of your "gwenfoss@netrek.net""

I said, "not good enough. i was promised that my old email would still work after you took over my DSL account. I did not sign up for ATT. this has to be fixed."

He came back with, "Please note down the SMTP server address: smtp.att.yahoo.com"

I said, "yes, that is the setting i have."

He said, "And for further information we have a dedicated department for this Support+. Please call us at: 877-831-2880. They will provide you all the information and help you out."

I said, "no, i was already on the phone for 2 hours with them." (After this conversation I realized this is the heavenly "fee-based" Level 3 support that I had not yet tried.)

He said, "I apologize for the inconvenience caused to you. I am sorry, we do not have any tools to provide you all the information on this. Please contact them, they will help you out."

I said, "okay, i guess i'll try them again. Expletive deleted. bye for now."

Talked to this guy over half an hour. No effin' help.

7:30pm

ATT's customer service survey popped up on my screen, which I filled out. It was only two questions and a comment. I gave both questions a NO, then put in comments: "Ongoing problem. Changing settings in email software so it can send and receive. I did not sign up for DSL from ATT. You took over my DSL without my consent. Now email will receive but not send."

I tried to type more into the comments field but it would only erase my text after that, so I assume the box had a character limit in force.

7:35 pm

I called the tech support number that Ryan had given me, 877-831-2880, got the same stinking a phone maze, and it said, for DSL support, hang up and dial 1-800-288-2020, but I just ignored that and pressed 1 for "advanced technical support." Got put on hold.

7:45 pm

I heard sound of a phone ringing and got a live human after about 10 rings. I could not understand her name, India accent. I gave her my name, phone, zip code, and so forth, and we discussed the problem, and she said it would be a $99 fee. (I'll admit, I was expecting $30 or $40, not $100!) but get this: she promised their techs could fix it. She actually used the word "promise."

I argued about the fee and lost. She took my cc info. Back on hold.

7:53 pm

She said we had to wait for a ticket number. While waiting for a ticket number, she read me the list of rules that she said she was required to read to me. I did not jot them all down, but these two stood out:

1) I am liable for any lost data, etc, if I proceed to this service.

2) Even if they can't fix it they will still bill me $99 for this service.

(First she promised they could fix it, then said it would be $99, then said if they can't fix it, it's still $99?? If this is not illegal it should be.)

Well, this is when I hit the roof and started yelling. Problem ongoing for weeks, I did not sign up for this, I was promised my email would work, ATT slammed my DSL, been on the phone already for hours trying to get it fixed, and so on. I also said that I know it's not her fault, she's not a supervisor, and so on. She said she is required to say all the rules. I pointed out again that she just promised me they could fix it, then said, maybe we can't, but it's $99 either way (!).

Well, since I can't fix this mess myself, I said let's go ahead, and she gave me a ticket number and said to give that to the technician when they come on the line. She added that if I need to call her back, the number is 888-930-3330. She then said, please stay on the line and put me on hold.

7:58 pm

On hold. Wow, but they have some really crappy primitive on-hold music!

8:42 pm

After being on hold for 44 minutes (!) I finally got to the $99-tech, whom I shall call A~. She asked for my ticket number, asked me the problem, and by now I had it down to three words: "Eudora won't send."

Tech A~ had me launch Internet Explorer, go to a specific website, put in a code number, and download a utility called "Premium Support" that allowed her to see my desktop on her desktop and take control of my mouse, etc.

I watched as she looked at Eudora, tried to send email, no go, looked at the browser, checked some settings under Windows Device Manager and Intel Network Connector, which were all normal, I assume, since she changed nothing.

8:48 pm

Tech A~ again looked at Eudora, spent a few minutes looking at all the settings, said she was not familiar with Eudora but would try to figure the problem out, put me on hold, said she was going to find a tech who understands Eudora, came back and said she thinks it's a port problem, and I watched as she checked the port settings in Eudora, making all the changes I had already tried, then trying new settings.

9:02 pm

Tech still "looking around" my computer, made changes to the SSL settings (Secure Socket Layer, a security wall), still no go, changed it back, still no go. She then said she has just learned that a lot of other people have had the same problem.

9:06pm

A~ said another customer who also uses Eudora tried all sorts of instructions but never found a solution, said Eudora "does not like" the SSL that ATT uses. She continued to try possible solutions, kept trying to send an email with Eudora but just got error messages. She then said she was going to write down and investigate the error message more closely. She checked the SSL Certificate Information Manager, clicked on a certificate, tried several times to solve the problem that the certificate was not being authenticated, and so on.

9:16 pm

Tech A~ imported a certificate, tried many other settings, tried changes to certificates and SSL and a slew of other settings. Still no go.

9:23 pm

More attempts to fix, then she tried logging in to yahoo mail using my Netrek name and password, no go, she changed the port settings again, no go.

9:32 pm

Tech A~ started explaining to me why the incoming mail still worked but the outgoing mail did not work, but stopped herself in the middle as if she had a new idea, and made more changes to the settings. Next she theorized that the problem was with the web-based part (Yahoo), in that she did not know how to "connect" Yahoo to 2020comm (my old internet service provider) or Netrek (my old email domain name). I said I also have an ATT email handle and why don't we try that. She entered that into the Eudora settings, and also the password for that, then put me back on hold.

9:40 pm

I saw my mouse moving around by itself again, and watched as she checked all the settings, tried to send an email, no go, she pinged the ATT server, looks like that worked, continued to try different settings.

9:46 pm

As I watched her move my mouse around I asked about the old router / new router, and she said the router is not the issue; the problem she's currently trying to solve is getting the SSL settings in Eudora to update or recognize or something like that. Eudora doesn't seem to have standard SSL but something called TSL, perhaps it's an old version of SSL that is too old to function, or something like that.

9:52 pm

I watched as tech A~ followed links from Eudora to OpenSSL online, I assume in an attempt to find upgrade info or a fix, no go, she then said that I have a 10 year old version of Eudora and she could set up Outlook for me. (Oh, yes, I knew she was going to tell me to use Outlook!!) I explained that I have used Outlook in the past and really hated it, it was very hard to use, but told her to go ahead and set it up for me, let's see if it works.

9:58 pm

I watched as she set up my ATT email with my "real name" and it worked fine, then she set up the Netrek email to see if it would work, put in my old ISP server name, no go, I looked through my old notes from when I set up Eudora, found a different email server, she put that in and by golly it worked! She then set up Outlook to handle my ATT email and my Netrek email and put them all into the same inbox, or at least that's what I expected would happen.

10:16 pm

I told tech A~ that I had been promised a solution, not only prior to today, but earlier today, by ATT personnel, and that after I was told of the $99 fee, I was then told, by the same ATT person, that even if they can't fix it, it's still $99. A~ said she would be happy to transfer me to sales so I could let them know that their own personnel are making impossible promises because Eudora is simply incompatible with ATT email, and they can't support Eudora or fix the problem, the problem (apparently) lies with the SSL in Eudora.

10:36 pm

Tech A~ said, "Sorry it took so long, nothing else I can do for you." I thanked her for trying her best. She transferred me to sales. I went on hold at 10:37 pm.

10:44 pm

I got to a live human (India accent) who asked for my ticket number, which I gave, he said he was a sales rep for "Connect-Tech," then I explained the problem, in that ATT continued to promise me they would fix my email and they simply are unable to, and that they should not be making this promise, especially to Eudora users.

He said he can't give me a refund of my $99 but he would ask the supervisor for permission to give me a refund. I also asked what to do with the duplicate modem, he said he can't help me with that, put me on hold, 10:51 pm.

10:53 pm

When he came back to the phone I told him that, legally speaking, if a company is liable, the fact that they say they're not liable doesn't make them not liable, they're still liable. He said the best he can do is give me full credit for the $99 fee, then charge me a $29 fee instead, thus giving me a $70 reduction on the fee, which he termed a "partial refund." That still stinks, but I agreed to take the partial refund.

He then gave me a transaction number (order reference number) for the current charge, and also gave me the transaction number (order reference number) for the original $99 charge.

10:59 pm

Call ended. Counting from my first contact today with ATT via the chat line, that makes four hours and five minutes total time spent on this today.

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Date: January 8, 2010

The next morning, after the day I spent four hours on the phone with ATT, during which they supposedly set up Outlook for me, guess what? Outlook is not sending or receiving my Netrek mail.

Expletives!

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Date: January 9, 2010

A moment of silence for my dead email, thank you.

It is no wonder that consumers like myself who are treated like dirt by these giant, faceless, multi-national, evil corporations (with the exception of Tech A~ who was super) are taking their business elsewhere.

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Please help a starving bookdealer.

Sincerely yours,
Gwen Foss

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17 Symbols in The Wizard of Oz

. . . Historian Richard Jensen assigns the following symbols to the objects, characters and themes in The Wonderful Wizard of Oz, written in 1901 by L. Frank Baum, and filmed in Technicolor by Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer in 1939. I'm not sure I agree with all of these correlations but they certainly make for good conversation fodder.

1. Main theme: Populism = The "wizards" of Washington DC are a bunch of charlatans running a scam on the little people of America; ordinary people can take care of themselves if they realize their full potential, work together, and do not put themselves into the thrall of self-professed experts wielding the powers of government

2. the bleakness of Kansas = Economic depression caused by the gold standard (see below for more on the silver and gold standards)

3. Dorothy = Everywoman

4. the cyclone = Silverite victory at the polls

5. Oz = Silverites, who supported a standard in which 16 oz = 16 ounces of silver = one ounce of gold

6. Wicked Witch of the East = Eastern bankers

7. Munchkins = Ordinary people in bondage to East Witch

8. Good Witch of the North = Northern electorate

9. Yellow Brick Road = Gold ingots = The gold standard—the notion that only gold, not silver, should be used to back up our paper money—supported by William McKinley.

10. Silver Slippers = The silver standard, the only thing one may travel the road with. The silver standard—the notion that the federal government should back its paper money with silver as well as gold—was supported by William Jennings Bryan. (For the 1939 movie, these magical slippers were changed from silver to red because, in Technicolor, red simply looks spectacular.)

11. Scarecrow = Farmers, who think they have no brains, supporters of William Jennings Bryan

12. Tin Woodsman = Industrial laborers, who think they have no compassion, supporters of William Jennings Bryan

13. Cowardly Lion = William Jennings Bryan himself, who ran for president as a Silverite in 1896 (and also ran in 1900 and 1908)

14. Dorothy and her three friends = the electoral coalition

15. Emerald City = the national capital

16. greenish hue of the city, which is an optical illusion = Greenback dollars, which are illusory money

17. the Wizard's farewell address in the movie = an imitation of Franklin Roosevelt

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Visit my used bookstore

Browse books by L. Frank Baum at TomFolio.com, a shared website of reputable used-book dealers

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17 Examples of Erasing Universalist History, Ignoring Universalist History, or Burying it under the Label of Unitarian History

. . . A collection of examples of Universalism or Universalist history being left out of the picture, destroyed, ignored, misrepresented, treated with substantially less space than Unitarian history, called Unitarian history, or buried under Unitarian history.

I have seen so many examples of this casual disregard for Universalist history that I just had to start collecting them. Please note: These are not all the examples I have ever found, just examples from people who should know better.

How would it be if, every time someone mentions Channing, Emerson and Parker and implies that they are the whole foundation of UU history, someone snuck in and added Murray, Winchester, Balfour and Ballou? Hmmmm. (Listed in chronological order, more or less.)

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Exhibit #1

1922

The City of Detroit, Michigan, 1701-1922, Volume 5
by Clarence Monroe Burton

Page 188, in the biography of Rollin Howard Stevens, states:

"Dr. Stevens served on the board of trustees of the Church of Our Father and has long been identified with the Unitarian faith."

Comment: Church of Our Father was a Universalist church. After this book was published, their name changed (1934) to First Unitarian-Universalist Church when Detroit's Unitarian congregation consolidated with the Universalists. It is incorrect to refer to members of this Universalist church as Unitarians, particularly prior to the 1934 event in which the Unitarians "moved in" with the Universalists.

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Exhibit #2

1933

Of the 34 people who signed Humanist Manifesto I, it is often stated that "about half (15) were Unitarians."

Comment: This fact is mentioned in the Preface of the Manifesto. In fact, the signers included only 12 Unitarians, 1 Universalist, and 2 individuals who were dually fellowshipped.

The sole Universalist is called a Unitarian and the two in dual fellowship are stripped of their Universalism and called solely Unitarian.

(Email me if you would like a list of the Universalists and Unitarians who signed the Manifesto.)

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Exhibit #3

1956

The famous group of murals, 24 Saints of Liberalism, painted at 3rd Unitarian Chicago 1956–69 by church member Andrene Kauffman, includes 9 Unitarians, 15 non-U/Us, and no Universalists.

The Unitarian subjects are: Susan B. Anthony, Edwin T. Buehrer, William Ellery Channing, Ralph Waldo Emerson, Thomas Jefferson, James Martineau, Thomas Paine, Theodore Parker, Joseph Priestley.

The Non-U/U subjects are: Jane Addams, John Peter Altgeld (progressive governor of IL), Albert Camus, Confucius, Mohandas K. Gandhi, Suddhartha Gautama, Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, Martin Luther King, Jr., Abraham Lincoln, Jesus of Nazareth, Socrates, Harriet Tubman, Walt Whitman, Woodrow Wilson, Roger Williams.

Info from UU World, Summer 2009, pages 36-39

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Exhibit #4

1991

Book title: Thomas Starr King: Eminent Californian, Civil War Statesman, Unitarian Minister, by Robert A. Monzingo. NY: Boxwood Press, 1991

Comment: Thomas Starr King was ordained both Universalist and Unitarian but here he is described only as a Unitarian.

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Exhibit #5

1991

The UU Alphabet

Song lyric by yours truly, listing one famous U/U for each letter of the alphabet.

The song lists 14 Unitarians (61%), 3 Universalists (13%), 2 UUs (9%), 3 borderline or wrong names (13%), and three letters (U, X, Z) that I had to fudge entirely, not included in percentages.

In my own defense, I wrote the lyric before I knew much Universalist history. I collected the names from list of "famous UUs" that I got from various sources. Since most lists of "famous UUs" at the time were — and still are — approximtely 80% Unitarian, 10% Universalist and 10% wrong, my song lyric ended up being about the same.

(Email me if you would like to see the song.)

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Exhibit #6

1996

"[The Rev. James] Stoll was a minister of the Unitarian Universalist Association--known as the Unitarians--and his act [coming out] was the first of many that came to mark the Unitarians as the country's most accepting, welcoming denomination for homosexuals."

-- Mark Oppenheimer, History Department, Yale University

This is the third sentence in his article, "The Inherent Worth and Dignity": Gay Unitarians and the Birth of Sexual Tolerance in Liberal Religion, published in Journal of the History of Sexuality, Vol. 7, 1996

Article excerpt found online at Questia at

http://www.questia.com/googleScholar.qst;jsessionid=L1rMSv1h95SD1n1t0HKQJZp0wqkLYw1TYQ2k7WV0npv33fjFDP1C!-997264469!1888687908?docId=96428120 (viewed online Jan 2, 2010)

Should I be shocked that a professor of history at Yale doesn't know or doesn't care about the difference between a Unitarian and a Unitarian Universalist?

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Exhibit #7

1999

"UUs seem to have two conflicting "myth of origin" stories that influence our sense of roots. One is that we began with Akhenaten, Moses and Jesus, and we're the REAL monotheists. (Though that theory is somewhat out of fashion with the change from "one God at most" to "one God more or less.") Then there's the "creation ex nihilo" out of the heads of Servetus and Channing -- this myth is operationally what many members in UU churches believe. It's interesting what you learn by listening at coffee hours and online UU chats, just to understand what the average congregational member really thinks is the history of our idea and association!"

-- Jone Johnson Lewis, on the UU Historical Society listserv

Comment: She says "UUs" have two origin myths but describes origin myths of Unitarians alone.

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Exhibit #8

date unknown (circa 2000)

I once sat through an entire sermon in a UU church in which the speaker -- a guest and layman -- referred to Walt Whitman three or four times as "a gay Unitarian minister." I don't know who the speaker was thinking of but Walt Whitman was not a minister and was not a Unitarian (he was borderline Universalist at best).

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Exhibit #9

16 Jun 2000

David M. Robinson, Distinguished Professor of American Literature, Department of English, Oregon State University, Corvallis, Oregon, posted the following to the UU Historical Society listserv:

BEGIN QUOTE

Dear Fellow UU History Buffs,

I'll be giving a talk at GA on UU History in a session sponsored by the Fulfilling the Promise Task Force (session 446). The official title is "What Our History Might Teach Us," but it has evolved over the spring into a paper with the working title "The Five Phases of Unitarian Universalist History." I thought I would put my basic thesis out on this list in advance for possible reaction, and will perhaps be able to speak with some of you at GA. The "Five Phases" will probably not surprise you, but they gave me the best broad overview of the denomination's development that I could work out. What I was interested in developing was a broadly comprehensive, and thus necessarily very general, "big picture" encapsulation of our history. The five phases are:

(1) the Unitarian Controversy (Great Awakening to the 1830s)

(2) Transcendentalism (1830s to 1860s)

(3) Free Religion (1860s to 1890s)

(4) Humanism (1920s to 1940s)

(5) Social Justice Movements (1960s [or late 1950s?] to the present). . . .

END QUOTE

Comment: This is not an outline of UU history, it is an outline of Unitarian history. It ignores Universalist history and has almost no direct relevance to Universalism. There's nothing wrong with that except that Professor Robinson refers to it as "UU History" and as a "broad overview of the denomination's development."

To Robinson's credit, when it was gently pointed out to him by several others on the list that his outline did not apply to Universalist history, he responded, saying:

"I also agree with you that it falsifies Universalist history to try to read it through categories derived from Unitarian history, such as Transcendentalism and Free Religion. This need to keep things separate historically of course presents some problems. In one sense, all UUs after the merger must own the histories of each denomination. And the history of the denomination after the merger is of course "Unitarian Universalist." But to own those histories does not mean to merge them or erase their uniqueness."

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Exhibit #10

27 Dec 2003

"Still we, in our dictionary of Unitarian and Universalist biography and elsewhere state that Ralph Waldo Emerson, Clara Barton, Horace Mann, John Adams and John Quincy Adams, and others, were 19th century Unitarians. How many Unitarians were there in the 19th century?" [emphasis added]

John Keohane, UUHS listserv

Comment: Clara Barton was a Universalist but here she is lumped in with Unitarians and called a Unitarian.

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Exhibit #11

2004

This Day in Unitarian Universalist History: A Treasury of Anniversaries and Milestones from 600 Years of Religious Tradition, by Frank Schulman, published by Skinner House Books, an imprint of the Unitarian Universalist Association.

Comment: This is, overall, a well written book, with clear, concise entries. It is well laid out and easy to read. It lists, for each day of the calendar year, around two to four milestones in UU history.

The problem is that it is almost all Unitarian history and only a little bit Universalist history. And I hazard to say that the Universalist history seems to be based on Unitarian sources.

I made a count of how many entries are Unitarian, how many Universalist, and how many are Borderline (regarding someone who was a small-u unitarian, for example) or Both.

I was going to count the whole book but stopped after three months (January 1 to March 31) since the trend was obvious.

Out of a total of 293 entries for the first three months, I found:

85% (248) Unitarian entries

10% (28) Universalist entries

3% (9) Borderline

3% (8) Both (Unitarian Universalist combined) (total is 101% due to rounding)

I also checked the bibliography and found a preponderance of Unitarian sources. There were 26 Unitarian, 11 Universalist, and 5 UU history books listed, as well as one general biographical dictionary and one history of the Humanist Manifesto (see Exhibit #2).

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Exhibit #12

2008 (approx)

On the poster entitled 100 Unitarians and Universalists there are 79 Unitarians, 9 Universalists, 5 UUs, 1 labeled "you" (with a little mirror instead of a portrait), and 6 who don't even belong on the poster.

The nine Univeralists are: Hosea Ballou, P.T. Barnum, Clara Barton, Olympia Brown, Augusta Jane Chapin, Mary Livermore, John Murray, Benjamin Rush, Clarence Skinner.

The five UUs are: Tim Berners-Lee, Laurel Salton Clark, Robert Fulghum, Thomas Starr King, Christopher Reeve.

The six who shouldn't be on the poster are: Isaac Asimov, Thomas Carlyle, Theodore Giesel, Thomas Huxley, Robert LaFollette, Daniel Webster.

I do not know who published this poster. There is a framed copy of it hanging in the First UU Church of Detroit, but no publication data visible.

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Exhibit #13

7 Apr 2008

Clint Richmond, on the UU Historical Society listserv, said:

BEGIN QUOTE

The historic First Church in Boston has invited me to speak as part of their adult RE Learning Community. The illustrated presentation is based on my guidebook 'Political Places of Boston' . . .

I will be surveying neighborhood landmarks/events and their UU connections (Boston Pride parade, Boston Common and Faneuil Hall) as well as UU sites (such as UUA headquarters, Beacon Press, Arlington Street Church, and Community Church).

UU people to be mentioned will include Emily Greene Balch, Elliot Richardson, Thomas Wentworth Higginson and Theodore Parker.

The UUA bookstore has kindly carried the book since it was released in 2004. Their copies also have a special insert that makes some of these same connections, which allow you to take a similar such "UU Freedom Trail" if you visit Boston.

END QUOTE

Comment: He calls his book and his talk and his freedom trail all "UU" but with the exception of the UUA headquarters, everything mentioned is 100% Unitarian; there seems to be nothing Universalist included.

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Exhibit #14

Apr 2009

Dictionary of UU Biography

Comment: I counted the Unitarians and the Universalists in the Dictionary of UU Biography because it seemed as if most of the entries were on Unitarians. I made the count in Apr 2009.

Of the 932 Individuals listed:

68% (633) are Unitarian

18% (172) are Universalist

3% (32) are Both

11% (98) are Unknown (to me at this time)

Comment: The editor in chief of this project specializes in Universalist history, so I am hopeful that as the project goes forward, the difference between the number of Unitarian and Universalist articles will be lessened.

(Email me if you would like to see a list the actual names and how I counted them.)

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Exhibit #15

May 2009

This website gives a brief history of "UUism" based solely on Ralph Waldo Emerson who was a Unitarian minister for about 4 years (1829-1833) then withdrew from the denomination.

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Exhibit #16

Jun 2009

Philosopedia

Warren Allen Smith's website has a summary page listing the names of 325 notable Unitarians who are profiled on his site (there are a few doubles and other anomalies so the correct number is about 323), and another summary page listing all the Universalists, of which there are 45.

But wait, four of the individuals listed as Universalists were actually Unitarians, so the actual number of Universalists listed is only 41. (The four are Dan McKanan, Winifred Latimer Norman, Arpad Szabo; plus Hosea Ballou I is listed twice, the second time as Josea Ballou.)

I also checked the Unitarian list to see if any names belong on the Universalist list and found four (Johannes Auer, Adin Ballou, Angus MacLean, Clinton Lee Scott).

Comment: The site is about 85% Unitarian and 15% Universalist.

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Exhibit #17

4 Nov 2009

UU historian John Keohane's proposed four-session "Course in Adult Religious Education on UU History," as posted on the UU Historical Society listserv.

BEGIN QUOTE

1) Ballou and Channing Both were 19th century Protestant Christian ministers in Boston. Each read the Bible more seriously than their "orthodox" brethren. They were from different strata of society, and they didn't like each other. Hosea Ballou (1771-1852) was a Universalist. He found in the Bible evidence for Universal Salvation. William Ellery Channing (1780-1842) was a Unitarian. He found lack of Biblical evidence lacking for the Trinity. He thought the Bible must be read with the use of reason.

2) The Humanists of the mid-20th century Evidence that Unitarians had gone clearly beyond our Christian roots. We'll discuss the Humanist Manifesto (1933), and some of those who signed it, including ministers John Dietrich and Edwin H. Wilson. We'll then go to another Humanist, the distinguished scientist and physiologist Maurice Visscher, learning of some of the early medical missionary work of the Unitarian (now UU) Service Committee. We'll also learn of Visscher's social action, of the science, and his actions to end atmospheric nuclear tests.

3) Unitarians and Universalists for Civil Rights We'll discuss UU martyrs at Selma, James Reeb, a minister from Boston, and Viola Liuzzo, a housewife and mother from Michigan, whose Oldsmobile with the Michigan plates stood out in the red clay of Alabama. We'll then move our discussion to a giant of the United States Senate, the Quaker-Unitarian Paul H. Douglas, of Illinois, who led the way for civil rights in his 18 years in the US Senate (1949-67), and each year reported his net worth and income to the penny, while rejecting any gift over $5, and refusing his disability pension from the United States Marines.

4) Unitarians and Universalists in the last 50 years Pre-merger cooperation on Religious Education, a hymnal, etc. leading to merger in 1961, to become the Unitarian Universalist Association.

END QUOTE

Comment: His course includes about 85% Unitarian and 15% Universalist material. The number of Universalist people mentioned here is exactly one: Hosea Ballou, although one could also count Viola Liuzzo who belonged to a joint Unitarian Universalist congregation.

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Visit my online used bookstore and check out my little booklet, A Who's Who of UUs

Thanks and Happy New Year y'all.

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5 Reasons Against Votes for Men

. . . I post below a short piece of satire written by Alice Duer Miller (1874-1942) during the woman suffrage movement. One of the principle arguments against allowing women to vote was that the "woman’s sphere" was and should be domestic: that women were "created" to be lovely things, helpful to men, to guide humanity to higher morals, and so on, all of which would be "lost" if they were to get mixed up in the "dirty" world of politics. Miller wrote this in 1915, five years before American women earned the right to vote. Repeat, this is satire.

Why We Oppose Votes For Men

1. Because a man's place is in the army.

2. Because no really manly man wants to settle any question otherwise than by fighting about it.

3. Because if men should adopt peaceable methods, women will no longer look up to them.

4. Because men will lose their charm if they step out of their natural sphere and interest themselves in other matters than feats of arms, uniforms and drums.

5. Because men are too emotional to vote. Their conduct at baseball games and political conventions show this, while their innate tendency to appeal to force renders them particularly unfit for the task of government.

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Shameless plug for TomFolio.com, the world's first cooperatively-owned online marketplace of used and rare books, periodicals, and ephemera

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20 New Quotes about Books (and other topics) from Used Bookdealers

. . . Collected here and there over the past few years.

A curse for underhanded bookdealers:
1. "Let them have a copious variety of urgent, but fraudulent, book orders and increasingly tempting Nigerian schemes richly laden with ornate subordinate clauses, Victorian circumlocutions of cloying sweetness, and semi-plausible misspellings. Furthermore, let their own spellchecker be seeded with random malapropisms." David Anderson

2. "People who haggle over a five dollar book were never going to buy anything anyway." Brian Cassidy, 2008

3. "Creamsicle. My only reason for living as a child. Well, that and the library." Michelle Palmer, 2003

4. "All the scrapbook stores seem to have dogs, and all the bookstores seem to have cats." bookdealer and scrapbooker Marilyn Brownjohn

5. "I am a firm believer that a computer needs a Microsoft operating system the way a dog needs bricks tied to its head." Ian J. Kahn

6. "I don't know why they call it Victoria's secret. Everybody already knows about all that stuff." Victoria, 8-year old granddaughter of bookdealer Jim Hart

7. "Sometimes being born without the shopping gene means I feel like a foreigner in my own economy." Charmaine Taylor, 2003

8. "My acquaintances who are very rich insist that the less advantaged dealers exist to be exploited. The only people who truly count, whose needs and desires should be considered, are the members of the investor class. They all chuckle when I point out they are scum." unnamed bookdealer quoted by Renee Magriel Roberts

9. "I believe most booksellers are, by nature, hoarders." Rock Toews

10. "Incipient fascism is still thought to be curable. When presented with a sufferer of the common bureaucratic malady called cranio-rectal inversion, immediate prophylaxis is indicated." Andris Danielsons

11. "The difference between liberals and right-wing nuts is that right-wing nuts believe that *They* are better than *We and You*, whereas liberals believe that *We and You and They* should be treated equally under the law." Jessie Munro

12. "Specializing in Non-Moveable Type books. Some haven't moved in 17 years." Joe Oprisch

13. "The only effective protection from lies is the developement of critical thinking. Keeping kids in a kind of intellectual padded cell, fed only what their parents believe is true, is a guarantee that they will grow up gullible." Marc de Piolenc, in reply to a news story on parents stealing books from school libraries 'to protect them from lies'

14. "I'm not anti-religion -- I'm anti people who claim religion and practice cruelty." Shirley Bryant

15. "[Vice President Dick] Cheney is a white cat and an eye patch away from being a Bond Villain." Joyce Godsey, 2008

16. "Pricing [antiquarian and collectible books] is an acquired skill, an art, as long-time antiquarian specialists can attest. The presence or lack of a single mark on a single page can triple the price. No algorithm will ever take that into account." -- anonymous, quoted by Chris Hartmann, 2003

17. "Some of those books are too old to have first editions." comment by customer to bookdealer Doreen Steinbeck

18. "People with white carpeting never have good books. I think it's because they care more about appearances than brains." Jessie Munro, only half sarcastically, on how to judge the book potential at an estate sale by the decor in the front room, 2007

19. "These days if I find a mistake that could have been corrected by an editor, I fling the book across the room with great force. Who am I kidding? I stopped reading modern books when I ran out of spackle back in '02." Joyce Godsey, 2008

20. "Learn something new every day, if I'm not careful." Christopher Crockett

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Celebrating the ninth anniversary of the all-bookdealer-owned, all-bookdealer-run TomFolio.com!

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24 Interfaith Season's Greetings, 2009 Edition

1. To my Christian friends, Merry Christmas!

2. To my Catholic friends, Happy St. Stephen's Day!

3. To my Jewish friends, Happy Chanukah!

4. To my Muslim friends, Eid Mubarak!

5. To my African American friends, Good Kwanzaa!

6. To my Zoroastrian friends, Happy Mithra's Birthday!

7. To my Pagan friends, Blessed Solstice!

8. To my Malaysian friends, Selamat Hari Raya!

9. To my Hindu friends, a belated Shubh Diwali!

10. To my friends in the British Commonwealth: Happy Boxing Day early!

11. To my Universalist Unitarian friends, Happy Thomas Starr King's Birthday!

12. To my interfaith friends, Happy Whichever!

13. To my chorister friends: Throw the Yule Log on Uncle John!

14. To my scientist friends: Enjoy the Perihelion!

15. To my websurfing friends, eGreetings!

16. To my folklore-loving friends: Merry Generic Winter Festival!

17. To my friends in retail: Happy Non-Specific Holiday!

To everyone I haven't mentioned yet, 18. Happy Saturnalia! 19. Happy Brumalia! 20. Oneg Shabbat! 21. Yuletide Greetings! 22. Merry Festivus! 23. Season's Greetings!

24. To my Atheist friends, damn it's cold outside!

And a Kickass New Year to all.

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9 Stupid Customer Stories

. . . Sent in by your cheerful, anonymous used-book dealers from around the world.


1. Customer ordered via Amazon. Spelled his own last name two different ways. Gave the wrong city in his address. Gave the wrong phone number. Title of book ordered: The Story of Stupidity.

2. I was in a friend's bookshop one day when a customer came in and asked for a specific title, which was available, brand new, for £3 or some such. The customer exuded great delight and said he had been looking for that book for years, but that he would buy it next time round.

3. From the chief of sales at a music publishing company: "I had a customer once who wanted some flute parts, but wasn't sure to what. So she suggested that I read off our entire catalog one at a time for her to then decide if she wanted that title or not. I was flabbergasted and responded that we had over 10,000 titles."

4. Customer wrote to say, "So far I have not received the book. I guess it is still within 14 day window. But it ranks as one of the slower shipments from an Amazon bookseller. I bought a book last Thursday night that was shipped on Friday. I got the book on Tuesday from Florida." Oh, by the way, the book he ordered was Shut Up, Stop Whining, and Get a Life. I hope it helps.

5. Customer ordered a book, received it, returned it and said it was "the wrong book." This customer had all the following initials after his name, which he put on his order form: M.S., Ph.D., M.P.H., M.A., M.S.B.S. The book he ordered by mistake: Scientific Blunders: A Brief History of How Wrong Scientists Can Sometimes Be.

6. Customer in India, ordered the book to be sent from the US by Economy Rate Shipping (via the slow boat, known to take from 1 to 3 months or longer). After seven days, he emailed anxiously: "I ordered my book on 9/7. When is my book due to arrive?????????" Title ordered: Behavior Modification: What It Is and How to Do It. Think he needs that book?

7. Dealer joked: "We are thinking about putting in a link to Literacy Volunteers for those people who seem to be unable to read our data entries. The latest example is 'a 1/2" x 2" light brown stain on the front free endpaper.' The question is, 'How large is the stain?'"

8. I had a field guide to butterflies returned because the customer complained the pictures were too small. Only problem, all the butterflies were pictured life-size.

9. Customer on Amazon, left 2 out of 5 feedback for the dealer, saying, "My order was for a hard cover I received a soft cover." The dealer replied: "You may still return an item for any reason to [address deleted]. This buyer did neither, and wants both the book and the refund. It is somewhat entertaining, as the book's subject is 'forgiveness.'"

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Browse used books, periodicals and paper ephemera from reputable, independent dealers at TomFolio.com

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23 Handy Substitutes for Old Used Book Terms that are Not Correctly Handled by Modern Search Engines and Might Not be Understood by the General Public Either

. . . Since the used book business went out onto the internet, some dealers have discarded some treasured old bits of jargon due to their embarrassing sound, their potentially misunderstood meaning, or their tendency to get flagged by search engines for the wrong reasons. Here's a small collection. (Please note: In places where a color would generally be indicated I have used blue as an example.)

Old Term > New Term

1. appendices > appendixes

2. bastard title > half title
Some books have both a bastard title and a half title, but the term bastard title is often avoided, for obvious reasons.

3. cocked > slanted or askew

4. cutline > caption
The old term cutline literally means caption, but since it could be taken to mean the book has been cut up, it is often avoided.

5. first or 1st

Any use of the word "first," in any context, will be flagged as a "first edition" and will be returned in a search for a first edition. Thus, where the dealer needs to use the word "first," a number of workarounds have been invented. Examples:

index of first lines > index of f*rst lines

first volume in series > volume one in series

author's first book > author's inaugural book

facsimile reprint of first edition > facsimile reprint of original edition

textbook for first-year chemistry students > textbook for freshman chemistry students

The word "first" should never be used in the description of any used book unless the copy in hand is a true first edition.

6. foxed > spotted or discolored
The term "foxed" or "foxing" is still in wide use but may not always be understood.

7. half bound > cloth over spine, blue boards
"Half bound" will be understood by serious book collectors but the general public will be completely in the dark.

8. indices > indexes

9. inscription > gift note or penned note
Any use of the word "inscription" or "inscribed," in any context, will be flagged as a "signed book" and will be returned in a search for a signed edition. Therefore the word should never be used in the online description of any used book unless it is in fact signed by the author or by a notable person.

10. paste-on > label or overlay
Having a paste-on generally indicates quality workmanship, but you don't want the buyer thinking the book has been abused by a six-year-old with too much time on their hands.

11. quarter bound > leather over spine, blue boards
"Quarter bound" will be understood by serious book collectors but the general public will be completely in the dark.

12. rag paper > cotton paper
Rag paper was common in the 1700s and 1800s but was pushed out of the market by high-acid wood-pulp paper. Rag paper is much more durable than paper made of wood pulp, does not normally turn brown like wood-pulp paper, and does not become brittle over time. However, the term rag paper can potentially evoke an image of a book printed on dirty rags.

13. recto > front
No comment.

14. saddle stitch > fold-and-staple binding or stapleback binding
This term could easily be misunderstood as some kind of fancy binding when in fact it is one of the cheapest.

15. stabbed or side stitched > side stapled
Saying a book has been stabbed or stitched when in fact it has been stapled (bound with staples near the folded edge) will be misunderstood by a large portion of the general public.

16. suede > brushed leather
Let's face it, "brushed leather" just sounds a whole lot fancier than "suede."

17. three-quarter bound or 3/4 bound > leather spine and tips
Refers to a binding in which the spine is covered in leather, and there is also leather over the corners of the boards, usually placed diagonally, and also that the central parts of the boards are covered in cloth or paper.

18. thumb index > thumb notch

19. topstain, as in:
blue topstain > top edge blue
Some books have colored top edges, with the most common colors being black, blue, or red. The correct term is topstain, but this word can be mistaken as a description of an accidental stain.

20. unfoliated or unpaginated > unnumbered pages
Seriously, who but a bookdealer knows that foliation refers to page numbers?

21. verso > back

22. vicesimo-quarto or 24mo > [size given in centimeters]
There are a number of wacky old terms for book sizes, although, technically, these terms do not refer to sizes but to the number of times the original paper stock was folded during the process of printing and manufacturing the book. In any case, the modern method of indicating size is simply to give the height of the book in centimeters, rounded up. Click here for a detailed list of these old size terms.

23. wraps, wrappers, paperwraps or stiffwraps > paperback or softcover
Few today understand the old term "wraps" and its variants.

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28 Universalist Members of Congress

. . . I often hear that Universalists were never historically significant compared to Unitarians. This is an irritating myth that needs to be thoroughly quashed.

Today I am posting a list of 28 Universalists who happened to have served in the US Congress as either senators or congressmen. (6 senators, 24 congressers, including 2 who are on both lists, total 28.)

This page lists senators first, followed by members of the house of representatives. Each list is in chronological order based on the date the individual was elected to congress. (Two of these gentlemen served in both the house and senate and are therefore on both lists.)

For each individual I have also mentioned a few of their other major accomplishments.

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Universalist Senators

Timothy Pickering (17 Jul 1745–29 Jan 1829) (also known as Thomas Pickering), patriot in American Revolution; officer in the Massachusetts militia 1766–75; judge of the Massachusetts general court 1774–77; appointed by George Washington army adjutant general 1777–91; US postmaster general 1791–95, US secretary of war 1795, US secretary of state 1795–1800; US senator 1803–11 and congressman for Massachusetts 1812–17; SS Timothy Pickering named in his honor 1942 (sank 1945)

John Milton Niles (20 Aug 1787–30 May 1856), abolitionist; founding owner-editor Hartford Weekly Times c.1817–1847; wrote Life of Oliver Hazard Perry 1820, History of South America and Mexico 1838 (2 volumes) and other books; member of Connecticut legislature 1826–28; postmaster of Hartford 1829–36; US senator for Connecticut 1835–39, 1844–49; US postmaster general 1840–41

Joseph Cilley (14 Jan 1791–16 Sep 1887), brevet captain in the 21st New Hampshire Infantry in the War of 1812; US senator for New Hampshire 1846–47

William Drew Washburn, Sr. (14 Jan 1831–29 Jul 1912), as owner of lumber, railroad, mining and milling enterprises credited with putting Minneapolis on the map; surveyor general of Minnesota 1861–65 (federal position); congressman for Minnesota 1879–85; trustee of Tufts College 1883–95; US senator 1889–95; one of the seven Washburn brothers

Obadiah Gardner (13 Sep 1852–24 Jul 1938), master of the Maine State Grange 1897–1907; US Senator for Maine 1911–13; member of the Joint Commission for Settlement of Questions Arising on Boundary Waters between US and Canada

Marcus Allen Coolidge (6 Oct 1865–23 Jan 1947), mayor of Fitchburg, Massachusetts, 1916; appointed by Calvin Coolidge (a distant cousin) special envoy to Poland for the Peace Commission 1919; US senator for Massachusetts 1931–37

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Universalist Members of US House of Representatives (including one member of the Continental Congress)

James Mitchell Varnum (17 Dec 1748–9 Jan 1789), Colonel to Brigadier General in the American Revolution 1774–79; instrumental in allowing African Americans to enlist (they formed the First Rhode Island Infantry); Major General in the Rhode Island militia 1779–80; member of the Continental Congress 1780–82, 1786–87; as supreme court justice in the Northwest Territory 1787–89 opened the first court in present-day Ohio

Timothy Pickering (17 Jul 1745–29 Jan 1829) (see above)

John Galbraith (2 Aug 1794–15 Jun 1860) (also spelled Galbreath), founding editor-publisher Palladium and Republican Star 1818–20 (first newspaper in Butler County, Pennsylvania); member of the Pennsylvania legislature 1829–32; congressman for Pennsylvania 1833–37, 1839–41; district judge in Pennsylvania 1851–60; at the Universalist General Convention of 1859 he made a motion to allow women to be ordained (it did not pass)

Rev. Charles Hudson (14 Nov 1795–4 May 1881), soldier in the War of 1812; member of the Massachusetts legislature 1828–39; member of the governor's council 1838–41; Massachusetts state board of education 1837–45; congressman for Massachusetts 1841–49

Horace Greeley (3 Feb 1811–29 Nov 1872), newspaper publisher; supporter of women's equality, abolition of slavery and other progressive causes; founding owner-editor New-Yorker 1834–72 (became NY Weekly Tribune 1840); congressman for New York 1848–49

Israel Washburn, Jr. (6 Jun 1813–12 May 1883), congressman for Maine 1851–61; instrumental in founding the Republican Party and credited with choosing the party name 1854 (formed at a meeting in Jackson, Michigan, the Republican party was, in the beginning, a left-wing, anti-slavery party); trustee of Tufts College 1852–83; trustee of the Universalist Publishing House 1860–63; Governor of Maine 1861–63; one of the seven Washburn brothers

Elihu Benjamin Washburne (23 Sep 1816–23 Oct 1887), known as 'Father of the House' during his time as a congressman for Illinois 1852–69; US secretary of state under Ulysses S. Grant 1869 (2 weeks); Ambassador to France 1869–77; one of the seven Washburn brothers but always spelled his name in an E

Cadwallader C. Washburn (22 Apr 1818–15 May 1882), congressman for Wisconsin 1855–61, 1867–71; Major General in the Civil War; founding president of Gold Medal Flour 1866 (Minneapolis, now part of General Mills); adopted a new process that revolutionized the flour industry 1878; Governor of Wisconsin 1872–74; the town of Washburn, Wisconsin, was named in his honor 1883; one of the seven Washburn brothers

Portus Baxter (4 Dec 1806–4 Mar 1868), congressman for Vermont 1861–67; as a Civil War nurse at Battle of Fredericksburg 1864 became known as 'the Soldier's Friend'; Marine Hospital at Burlington, Vermont, renamed Baxter General Hospital in his honor 1864

Sidney Perham (27 Mar 1819–10 Apr 1907), member of the Maine legislature 1854–55; congressman for Maine 1863–69; board president of the Westbrook Seminary 1865–80; Governor of Maine 1871–74; founder and president of the Aine Industrial School for Girls, Hallowell, Maine, 1872–99 (27 years); trustee for 27 years and president 1866, 1870, 1875, of the Universalist Church of America

Hosea Washington Parker (30 May 1833–21 Aug 1922), member of the New Hampshire legislature 1859–60; congressman for New Hampshire 1871–75; trustee of Tufts College 1883–1913; president of the Universalist Church of America 1887–91

Samuel Freeman Hersey (12 Apr 1812–3 Feb 1875), philanthropist; member of the Maine legislature 1842, 1857, 1865, 1867, 1869; congressman for Maine 1873–75

Latimer Whipple Ballou I (1 Mar 1812–9 May 1900), co-founder of the Cambridge Press 1835–42; president of Woonsocket Hospital; congressman for Rhode Island 1875–81

William Smith King (16 Dec 1828–24 Feb 1900), newspaper editor; postmaster of the US House of Representatives 1861–65, 1867–73; congressman for Minnesota 1875–77

Horatio Bisbee, Jr. (1 May 1839–27 Mar 1916), enlisted as Private in Civil War, promoted to Colonel of the 9th Maine Infantry 1861–63; US Attorney for the Northern District of Florida 1869–73; congressman for Florida 1877–79, 1882–85

William Drew Washburn, Sr. (14 Jan 1831–29 Jul 1912) (see above)

Henry Lee Morey (8 Apr 1841–29 Dec 1902), enlisted as Private in Civil War, promoted to Captain; prosecuting attorney of Butler County, Ohio, 1873–81; congressman for Ohio 1881–84, 1889–91

Rev. Luther Franklin McKinney (25 Apr 1841–30 Jul 1922), Cavalry Sergeant in Civil War 1861–63; congressman for New Hampshire 1887–89, 1891–93; Ambassador to Colombia 1893–96; member of the Maine legislature 1907; master of the New Hampshire State International Order of Odd Fellows

Willfred Weymouth Lufkin (10 Mar 1879–28 Mar 1934), congressman for Massachusetts 1917–21

Allen Francis Moore (30 Sep 1869–15 Aug 1945), mayor of Monticello, Illinois, 1901–03; congressman for Illinois 1921–25

Frank Herbert Foss (20 Sep 1865–15 Feb 1947) (no relation), city council 1906–12 and mayor of Fitchburg, Massachusetts, 1917–20; congressman for Massachusetts 1925–35

Henry Leland Bowles (6 Jan 1866–17 May 1932), member of the governor's council of Massachusetts 1913, 1918, 1919; congressman for Massachusetts 1925–29

Jesse Paine Wolcott (3 Mar 1893–28 Jan 1969), Infantry Second Lieutenant in World War One 1917–19; prosecuting attorney in St Clair County, Michigan, 1927–30; congressman for Michigan 1931–57

Simon Moulton Hamlin (10 Aug 1866–27 Jul 1939), mayor of South Portland, Maine, 1933–34; congressman for Maine 1935–37

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Top Ten Reasons U/Us aren't identified as U/Us by historians, when Quakers are almost always identified as Quakers.

. . . (With apologies to David Letterman because this is his shtick.)

10. General cultural prejudice against U/Us.

9. The term "Universalist" carries almost no recognition.

8. The term "Unitarian" started out as an insult, and probably still is to some.

7. Some of our churches bear nondenominational names. (Examples: King's Chapel, All Souls, First Parish, Church of Our Father.)

6. Some of our churches carry the names of other denominations. (Examples: Unity, Congregational, Non-Subscribing Presbyterian, Polish Brethren.)

5. Our well-known forebears are confused with Congregationalists, Puritans, or some other religious movement.

4. Our well-known forebears are identified with nonreligious movements. (Examples: Priestley is often labeled a scientist, not a Unitarian minister; Emerson is often labeled a Transcendentalist.)

3. Biographers may lack specialized knowledge of religious history and may therefore avoid mentioning the subject's religious affiliation.

2. Being Universalist or Unitarian is simply not considered relevant. (One prominent biographer, David McCullough, whose massive best-selling biography John Adams makes no mention of Adams' Unitarianism, stated that being a Mennonite or Quaker is "historically significant" but being a Unitarian isn't.)

And, the number one reason historians often identify Quakers by their religion but seldom identify U/Us:

1. The Quakers have a line of breakfast cereal and we don't.

4 Proofs I Have Asperger Syndrome

. . . Asperger's is a mild form of autism which generally impairs the social skills without affecting the language or verbal skills of the individual. I went all the way from kindergarten through 12th grade and some college without being officially diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome. Yes, it was hell, but probably better that being institutionalized.

Having been in the following conversations — 1) 'I have Asperger's.' 'What is that?' or 2) 'I have Asperger's.' 'No you don't.' — about a zillion times, I feel compelled to post a short list of 4 Proofs I Have Asperger Syndrome.

1. A psychology major who prefers to remain anonymous. Explained to me that I displayed strong characteristics of Asperger Syndrome. This was about 1995, when I was 31.

I did not run out and get myself tested due to expense and so what if I have it anyway? I was long out of school and just about everything one reads about Asperger's or Autism is geared toward parents coping with a child who has it. Where is the information for the 30-year-old who has it?

2. A professional who has worked with disabled people, has disabled relatives, and is familiar with all manner of developmental disabilities. About the year 2000.

My brother's fiancee. Founder and executive director of a large company that provides services to blind, deaf, and developmentally disabled individuals so they can live on their own rather than in a group home or institution. She has 300 employees and 200 clients (or is it 200 employees and 300 clients, I can never remember).

The first time I met my brother's fiancee we talked for perhaps 10 or 15 minutes. So, you can tell what's wrong with me, can't you? I asked her. She did not hesitate for a moment: Asperger Syndrome.

3. The holder of a master's degree in social work. Director of religious education at the First Unitarian Universalist Church of Detroit. August 2007.

The first time she and I had a conversation of more than a few words I asked her if she thought I might have some kind of developmental disability and she said of course I have Asperger's, it's obvious.

4. A test given by a Ph.D. psychologist, March 2009.

In February 2009, a gentleman at my church, who goes regularly to a Ph.D. psychologist for his ADHD, asked me if I would be willing to take an Asperger questionnaire, and I said sure. A week or two later he brought me a 3-page questionnaire with exactly 50 questions.

I noticed a problem right away: since the quiz was all yes-or-no questions, for many of them, for me, the answer will be sometimes yes, sometimes no. He said, for questions like that, I may circle both. An ingenious solution. I agreed, finished the questionnaire and gave it back to him.

About two weeks later he reported to me that my test had been scored by his psychologist, and that my score was 44 out of a possible 50, and that a score of 32 or more is a positive for Asperger Syndrome.

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55 Unusual Names of Ancient and Medieval Hand Weapons

. . . Seriously, I'm not into weapons, but I am fascinated by their interesting and often beautiful names. Here's a smattering from my collection (of words, not weapons).


1. adze or adz. form of ax with blade mounted perpendicular to haft, like a hoe; technically a carpenter's tool.

2. baculus. heavy club with knotted hardwood business end.

3. ballista. giant crossbow, usually mounted on a cart or sledge.

4. bec-de-corbin. a form of war hammer having a pick-like head and a spear-like tip projecting straight up from the end of the shaft.

5. biliong. Malaysian ax with large handle.

6. bisacuta. double pointed pick.

7. bouzdykan. Polish mace made entirely of metal.

8. bulawa. Russian mace made entirely of metal.

9. chemeti. fighting whip of Java.

10. claymore. giant two-handed Scottish sword.

11. cumber-jung. flail used in India, having a wooden handle and two short chains each ending in a heavy metal ring.

12. dabus. wooden mace studded with nails, used in Arabia.

13. dolabra. Roman Legionnaire's battle ax.

14. falcata ("fall-KAH-tah"). Celtic sword, circa 100 CE, with a short, inward-curving blade.

15. fauchard. polearm with a long, narrow, curved blade, sharpened on one side only, having a curved parrying spike on the back of the blade.

16. flagellum. Roman three-pronged whip.

17. flamberge. giant two-handed German sword.

18. francisca. heavy throwing ax with metal blade and wooden handle, used by Franks of 6th to 8th centuries.

19. ganjing. iron club of Java, Indonesia.

20. gargaz. six- to ten-bladed mace of India.

21. glaive. polearm with a rear-projecting knob or spike.

22. goupillon. European three-pronged steel flail used by mounted warriors.

23. hoeroa. whalebone club used by the Maori of New Zealand.

24. hurlbat. European throwing axe made entirely of metal.

25. hunga-munga. African curved-bladed throwing knife with projecting points or hooks on either side of the handle, such that it will pierce its victim no matter which way it impacts.

26. i-wata-jinga. stone-headed club used by North American Plains Indians.

27. jo. Japanese wooden staff. The English name is a quarterstaff.

28. kadjo. Australian stone-headed club.

29. kalus. Malaysian fighting whip.

30. kamcha. Turkish whip having a wooden handle and a leather or cord business end.

31. katana. classic Samurai sword with a long, slightly curved blade that does not taper.

32. kujerong. heavy wooden Australian club with a rounded end.

33. kukri. national sword of the Gurkha warriors of Nepal, having a small, curved blade. The sword itself is often called a Gurkha.

34. mabobo. Australian club with rounded head and square handle.

35. mace. general term for any metal club designed for crushing armor; some maces also have knobs, spikes or blades.

36. mugdar. club used by Sepoy warriors of India, wooden with lead weights.

37. novacula. ancient sickle-like weapon of Cyprus.

38. nunchaku. Japanese type of flail consisting of two short sticks or rods joined by a short chain or rope. English term is nunchucks.

39. partizan. a polearm with a single broad blade surrounded by shorter points.

40. pike. long-handled thrusting weapon with short blade, used by foot soldiers against charging cavalry.

41. plombee ("plom-BAY"). European lead-weighted mace with a wooden handle.

42. polearm ("POLE-arm"). general term for any weapon mounted on a pole.

43. qama ("KAH-mah"). national weapon of Soviet Georgia, being a dagger with a straight, double-edged blade.

44. quadrelle. small metal mace with four flanges or blades.

45. rante. Malasian chain whip used to entangle an opponent's arms or legs; some have metal star-shaped weights on the ends of the chain.

46. sai ("SY"). Japanese parrying baton with two side hooks. Often the warrior holds one in each hand.

47. scimitar ("SIM-it-ar"). sword with long, sweeping, slightly curved blade, 1500s, used for slashing rather than thrusting.

48. scramasax. short-bladed sword used by Saxons, Franks, Vikings and Gauls.

49. shuriken. Japanese throwing star: a small, flat metal disc with points protruding around the entire edge.

50. skain. ancient Irish dagger.

51. spontoon. small pike.

52. trebuchet ("TREB-yoo-shay"). giant hurling mechanism, usually mounted on a wheeled platform or sledge.

53. verutum. light Roman infantry javelin with a back-pointing barb on each side of the blade.

54. voulge or vouge. European polearm having a broad axe-like blade used for slashing and a projecting spike used for thrusting.

55. war witch. thin-bladed battle axe on a four-foot pole, originated in Denmark.

(Some of these terms were found in Palladium Books Presents the Compendium of Weapons, Armour and Castles, for Use with all Role Playing Games, by Matthew Balent. Detroit, Mich: Palladium Books, 1981, 1989)

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30 Terms for Packing Peanuts

. . . Ghost poop is the term I grew up on. Here's a whole bunch more.

1. anti-static packing peanuts

2. biodegradable peanuts

3. bio-peanuts

4. cellulose packing peanuts

5. cornstarch peanuts, cornstarch packing peanuts (made of biodegradable material, safe for pets to eat)

6. eco-fill

7. elephant poo

8. fill, filler

9. foam cushioning

10. foam peanuts

11. ghost poop, ghost poo

12. ghost turds

13. loose fill, loosefill

14. nerdlies, styrofoam nerdlies

15. packing peanuts, packaging peanuts

16. peanuts

17. penauts (sic)

18. plastic loosefill

19. polystyrene-based packing peanuts

20. polystyrene filler

21. popcorn, polystyrene popcorn

22. Puffy Stuff (brand name)

23. shipping peanuts

24. starch-based peanuts, starch-based foam peanuts

25. starch packing peanuts

26. styro snow (term for broken bits that fly around the room)

27. styro-demons (so named due to their propensity of sticking to everything)

28. styrofoam filler

29. styrofoam popcorn

30. void fill

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10 Reasons Why AT&T Sucks

. . . I am posting a slimmed-down version of my notes from my runaround with the evil corporation known as AT&T. I have numbered the AT&T reps I have spoken with since this fiasco started and there are 10.

Earlier this week, AT&T slammed my internet connection. That's right, they slammed it. They took it over by force and without permission. If this is not illegal it should be.

(Background: AT&T bought out Ameritech same years ago. Actually they bought out SCB which bought out Ameritech. Ameritech and SBC were both Baby Bells: companies created by the gubmint-mandated breakup of the Bell Telephone monopoly. Ameritech supplied my phone service, then SCB, then AT&T.)

(Further: The minute AT&T got hold of my phone line, my phone bill nearly doubled. Also, calls to AT&T for any purpose: service, billing, adding features, etc, no matter what number or department you call, all go to the same phone maze. There is no chance of getting help on anything without being at least 20 minutes on the phone and going through multiple departments. But this is probably true for most giant corporations.)

The Saga Begins

November 23, 2009

10:50am, I called my internet service provider to find out why my connection was down. The tech support guy explained that a lot of their DSL (high-speed internet) customers lost their connection. What happened was that ATT simply took over all the DSL connections without warning. He also mentioned that ATT had recently tripled the price they were charging to companies who used ATT hardware to supply customers with DSL connections to the internet. He was certain that I would no longer be able to get DSL from their company in the near future.

11:03am, I called ATT's standard customer service number 800-244-4444 to ask what kind of DSL they offer -- I was not planning on using them but just interested to know what kind of pricing they offered -- got to a live person at 11:06am, Becky (#1), who asked what my "business" phone number was, said she's in the business office, tried to sell me a business DSL line. I asked whether residential or business was cheaper, had to ask twice, she was not able to answer, finally she said I currently pay $46/mo for residential phone, business would be $35/mo.

Becky then quoted DSL at $30/mo with a guaranteed speed of 3meg and said it's a "forever" rate, and that I would also get a free business listing in their phone book and other free services.

She further explained that ATT will charge me $62 for a new modem (router), but then fully rebate the cost by sending me a check, and charge me $12 for shipping, said there's no rebate on that, and that it will take 2 business days to set everything up. I promised to make sure Becky got the commission if I decided to take their DSL. Call ended 11:17am.

November 25, 2009

1:19pm, I received a robot call from ATT announcing that my new DSL is now in place, it is up and running, and I should call 877-722-3755 if I need tech support.

1:20pm, I still have no internet connection. I waited to see if it would come up but it did not.

1:32pm, I phoned the number the robot gave me, 877-722-3755, and ended up in the same phone maze as always. My requests for "internet tech support" were ignored and the maze dumped me into the billing dept.

1:34pm, phone maze put me on hold.

1:39pm, Valerie (#2) from customer accounts looked me up, said my number was residential, I told her I had a DSL problem, she transferred me.

1:43pm, Jessica (#3) answered, India accent, she kept saying "sorry for the inconvenience," asked for my name, phone, billing address, told me that her records show that an order for my phone number for DSL was placed for me on November 18, with an activation date of November 23, and that for future reference I should call the orders dept 877-722-3755 extension 288. She then transferred me to the orders dept to find out who placed the order.

1:48pm, got to Dana (#4) in the orders dept, she confirmed my name and said that one P****** is the name on the order. She also was able to find that K**** was the name of the ATT agent that P****** spoke to. I have never heard of either of these people.

I said that I had promised the commission to Becky. She said there is no way Becky could get this commission since K****'s name was already on the order. Not only is ATT screwing their customers, they're screwing their own employees.

Dana could not find a November 18 date on my order but said that her info shows that my connection should be up and running. It is not.

Looking further, Dana found a note on my order sating that "the DS3" went down. She admitted she did not know what that was but kept insisting ATT does not hijack people.

Dana then said she had to have a service leader (floor manager) look over my order because she doesn't understand the note. She said it could even be a typo. My DSL got hijacked due to a typo? That's a good one.

1:57pm, Dana came back, said floor support doesn't know what's going on, she is going to ask the provisioning dept. Says it could be an order that got attached to my account incorrectly.

2:00pm, Dana says she can't undo it, all she can do is to disconnect my DSL. I asked if she could determine where this order came from. She said she had to ask her supervisor for help, back on hold.

2:04pm, Dana said they have no way of knowing if the order came from my current ISP or not, but insisted it would be illegal for ATT to just switch me over without my knowledge. Back on hold.

2:07pm, Dana says two companies in Michigan are going out of business, and maybe my current ISP is one of them? She wouldn't give me their names, of course, so how would I be expected to know? She then decided to send me over to tech support anyway since ATT is now my carrier. For future reference she gave me the number for tech support 800-650-2865. She was quite pleasant and apologized many times.

2:16pm, Dana transferred me to tech support.

2:18pm, Peter (#5) came to phone, asked what kind of modem and operating system I have, asked me how many lights on my modem were lit, then he told me to load a webpage. I explained to him that my connection was down and I can't load any webpages. He asked me to load it anyway. Nothing happened of course. He asked about modem lights again, asked about the DSL light, I told him my modem has no such light. He asked if my modem has 4 or 5 lights. It has 6 lights. I told him the WAN light was not lit, back on hold.

2:24pm, Peter said I have a modem-router, not a modem. He has to send me to "Support Plus" to assist me with my "registration." He still doesn't grasp that my connection is down.

2:27, Brian (#6) answered the phone. He asked me if a line test has been done. For future reference he gave me 800-288-2020 for DSL tech support. Said he would transfer me to someone who can do a line test.

2:29pm, I got dumped into the middle of a phone maze in which the voice read back a phone number to me which was not my number and then asked if it were my number. I said "No." Then I said "DSL tech support" into the phone but that did not work. The voice said, "We're sorry, your call was unable to be completed, please hang up and dial the toll free number again" and hung up on me.

2:32pm, I called back, using the new number I had just been given, 800-288-2020, but got the same phone maze as before. Again the maze refused to send me to tech support and dumped me into the billing dept. Brandy (#7), answered. I told her I had been cut off from tech support, she transferred me to 877-722-3755.

2:35pm, Nick (#8), India accent, came to the phone, he "apologized for the inconvenience," confirmed my modem model number, asked where I got the modem, I told him got it from Ameritech as a matter of fact, and that Ameritech was bought out by ATT. He said the model number is no longer supported. I explained the entire mess and asked if we could attack the problem of my DSL connection being down, then asked for a line test, he said he can't do it, not trained on it, has to transfer me to "Support Plus."

2:42pm, back on hold, same phone maze again. Phone maze tells me the dept I'm going to is a fee-based service, then gave me only two options: use the fee-based phone support or have a tech come to my house.

2:44pm, Prince (#9, not sure that is the right name) answered, asked for my modem model number, which I gave her. She then said she is the 3rd level of support, separate from ATT, and fee based. I tell her the whole story and ask for a line test. She would not run a line test unless I paid a fee. I explained that it's not funny they hijack my line then try to get a fee out of me to fix it, and asked her to transfer me back. Back on hold.

2:50pm, Michelle (#10) answered, I did not tell her the whole story, just asked for a line test. This is now the 10th person I have talked to and the 4th person I've talked to since I was told I needed a line test. She said she could to a line test, asked my phone, name, router model number, how many lights are lit, etc. She explained that some older models don't have a component that allows ATT to reprogram them remotely. She did a line test, no problem found, then ran a sync test, nothing wrong. She then had me access my modem and change the registration info using a temporary name.

3:07pm, by golly, the connection is up and running again.

3:19pm, Michelle had me download and install some new software, set me up with a new email address, call ended 3:26pm. On the phone over two hours.

4:00pm, my email doesn't work.

At this point I was too angry and disgusted to make any fresh attempt to get it fixed.

I will post more on this BS as it happens.

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58 Unusual Names of Fairies, Demons, and Other Mythical and Imaginary Beings

. . . Happy Turkey Day to all! Here's a few of the more interesting fairies and demons from my large collection.

1. Abeyoyo (ah-bay-YO-yo). a ferocious giant. Africa.

2. Aughisky. a water spirit that preys on cattle. Ireland.

3. Balkin. a mountain spirit. Orkney Islands, Scotland.

4. banshee (BAN-she) a wailing, female spirit attached to a specific family: she wails just prior to the death of a family member. Celtic, Scottish and Irish.

5. the Baobhan Sith. a type of monster or malevolent spirit, often appearing as a beautiful woman, known to suck blood. Highland Scotland.

6. bargus. a frightening ghost draped in clanking chains. Yorkshire and South Lancashire, England

7. Bodachan Sabhaill (Scottish: little old man of the barn). a friendly fairy who threshes corn and binds straw for old men. Highland Scotland.

8. boggart. a mischievous fairy, known for making noise, throwing objects about and like behavior. Yorkshire and northern England. Called a bwca in Wales, a bogle in Scotland, a poltergeist in Germany. (In the Harry Potter books by J. K. Rowling, a boggart appears in the form of whatever its victim fears most. See clutterbumph.)

9. Brollachan (Gaelic: shapeless thing). a monster born of a fuath.

10. brownie. a small, rag-clothed fairy or spirit that haunts a specific place; to give a brownie clothes is bad luck. Northern England and Scotland.

11. Ca Sith (Scottish: fairy dog). a monstrous spirit dog, the size of a bull, with a green coat. Scotland.

12. Cait Sith (Scottish: fairy cat). a monstrous black cat owned by the fairies. Scotland.

13. clutterbumph. a scary thing that is not there until you imagine it: whatever is just above the worst thing you can think of, that is what a clutterbumph looks like. (From the book Manxmouse by Paul Gallico, a book which J. K. Rowling said was one of her favorites, which possibly inspired her version of a boggart in the Harry Potter books.)

14. Coblynau (Welsh: goblins). friendly beings who inhabit mines: they stand about two feet tall, dress like miners and are helpful to miners. Wales.

15. Deva (DAY-vah) (India: shining one). general term for any type of nature spirit.

16. dvergr. Norse word for dwarf: they were believed to live in rocks and were skilled in metalworking.

17. Ellylldan (Welsh: will o' the wisp). local name for friendly fairies. Wales.

18. Fear Dearg. (Irish: red man). a red-clothed spirit whose visit brings good luck. Munster, Ireland.

19. Fenodyree / Phynoderee / Phynnodderee. name for a local fairy similar to a brownie. Isle of Man.

20. fetch. a double of a living man; when seen it means death. Ireland.

21. Firbolg. a non-cannibal giant. Ireland.

22. Fomorian. a giant known for throwing huge stones, blamed for the boulders seen scattered about Scotland.

23. fuath (FOO-ah). a group of malignant water spirits. Sutherland, Scotland.

24. Gally-Trot. a spirit in the shape of a large white dog, known for chasing anyone who runs from it. Suffolk, England.

25. Ghillie Dhu (Scottish: black servant). a friendly, domestic, solitary fairy who is helpful in finding lost children. Scotland.

26. the Glaistig. a fairy woman, clothed in green, known for being kind to children but also for misleading travelers. Highland Scotland.

27. the Glashtin. a mischievous fairy. Isle of Man.

28. Grindylow (GRIN-dee-loh). a malevolent water spirit. Yorkshire. (J. K. Rowling included these in the Harry Potter books; they live in the lake near Hogwarts School.)

29. the Grogan. the brownie as it is known in Ireland.

30. the Gwragedd Annwn. beautiful, friendly female spirits who inhabit lakes. Wales. The singular is Gwraig (Welsh: lady of the lake).

31. Gwydion. the wizard king of the fairies. North Wales.

32. Habetrot. queen of the spinning fairies, patroness of human spinners, generally described as very industrious and friendly but not too attractive. Scottish Borderlands.

33. the Hag of Winter. a spirit woman, the personification of winter, she is fearsome, withered, and has only one eye. Called Gentle Annie in Leicester, Black Annis in northern England, and the Cailleach Bheur in the Scottish Highlands. (John Milton called her the Blue Meagre Hag.)

34. the Hedley Kow. a monster that haunts the village of Hedley, Northumberland, England, known for transforming itself into the shape of a man, woman, horse or other beast, and for causing harm to the unwary.

35. Hraesvelger (corpse swallower). in Norse mythology, a giant wearing eagle plumage who produces the wind.

36. incubus. (ING-kyoo-bus). a male demon that preys on young women in their sleep.

37. Jenny Greenteeth. a female water spirit known for dragging people under the water to their deaths. A green scum on the surface of the water indicates her presence. Lancashire, England.

38. Jötunn. (Anglo-Saxon: eoten). in Norse mythology, a giant.

39. Kadaicha Man (Aborigine tribe Luritja: retribution man). a fearful being who chases wrongdoers to deliver justice. He walks without leaving tracks. Australia.

40. Kobold. a mining spirit. Germany.

41. Kooshd'aa K'aa. (land otter or land otter man). A malignant being who can change himself into a human being, another animal, or anything. Children who might wander off alone are warned that the Kooshd'aa K'aa would wait from them, put them in a trance and take them away. Tlingit Indians of Alaska.

42. Llamhigyn y Dwr (Welsh: the water leaper). a malevolent water spirit known for stealing fishermen's bait and for dragging sheep into the water to eat.

43. the Loireag. a female spirit, patroness of weavers and fullers (ones who beat or press cloth to increase its bulk). Highland Scotland.

44. merfolk. water spirits, including mermaids and mermen, said to very beautiful and playful, with fishtails in the place of legs.

45. the Muileartach. a hideous, one-eyed water hag of enormous size. Highland Scotland.

46. Nuckelavee. a mythical water monster, half horse and half man. Scotland.

47. the Peallaidh (Scottish: the shaggy one). chief of the Urisks. Perthshire, Scotland.

48. peerie. local term for fairy. Shetland Isles.

49. the Pellings. a race of half-human fairies, children of a fairy mother (Penelope) and human father, who dwell in Corwrion Lake. Wales.

50. pooka. a type of fairy or spirit that always appears in animal form. Ireland. (Make famous as a six foot tall invisible rabbit in the movie and play "Harvey.")

51. the Ratchet. a demonic hound, known for hunting in packs in the sky and howling before the death of a human.

52. silkie / silky / selkie / selky. a seal-like water spirit able to change his form into a man. Scotland.

53. spriggan. the ghost of a giant, usually found guarding the giant's buried treasure, usually tiny but able to grow enormous, considered to be very dangerous. Cornwall, England.

54. Tom Tit Tot. name of a particularly mischievous fairy in England. Known in Scotland as Whuppity Stoorie, in Wales as Trwtyn a Trotyn, in Cornwall as the Devil Terrytop, in Germany as Rumpelstiltzkin.

55. Tylwyth Teg (Welsh: Fair Family). local name for a group of fair-haired, larger-than-human-sized fairies.

56. the Urisk. a group of hobgoblins. Perthshire, Scotland.

57. Valkyrie (VAL-kee-ree) (chooser of the slain). in Norse mythology, one of a troop of goddesses who serve in Valhalla, land of fallen heroes, and carry out errands for Odin, king of the gods.

58. worm. general term for monstrous being akin to a dragon. England.

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Select bibliography:

The Personnel of Fairyland: A Short Account of the Fairy People of Great Britain for Those Who Tell Stories to Children, by K. M. Briggs. Detroit: Singing Tree Press, 1971, reprint of Oxford: Alden Press, 1953.

The Kingdom of Faerie, by Geoffrey Hodson. London: Theosophical Publishing House, 1927, and, Fairies at Work and at Play, Observed by Geoffrey Hodson. London: Theosophical Publishing House, 1947.

Norse Mythology, Or, the Religion of our Forefathers, by Rasmus Bjorn Anderson. Chicago, S. C. Griggs & Company, 2nd edition, 1876.

Tlingit Stories, by Marie Ackerman. Anchorage, Alaska: AMU Press, 1975.

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92 Types of Payment

. . . "First, I charge a retainer; then I charge a reminder; next I charge a refresher; and then I charge a finisher." — attorney Judah P. Benjamin (1811–1884)

Who knows why we have special words for all these different things? They are all payments. English is strange and fun.


1. account. a pool of money, such as that belonging to one person and held by a bank on that person's behalf.

2. ad valorem or advalorem duty. an import duty proportional to the value assessed by customs.

3. agio. fee for currency exchange.

4. allowance. a small amount of spending money given weekly by parents to their children.

5. alms. money given to the poor.

6. amercement. a legal fine or penalty. Feudal era.

7. auction scrip. Originated in the 1930s by Donald F. Cochrane of Hartford, Michigan as a "newspaper stunt" in which the scrip was given out by merchants to customers who made purchases, then it was announced that the scrip would be the only legal tender for a public auction on Christmas Eve of merchandise from participating merchants. A successful scheme which was then copied elsewhere.

8. balance. amount remaining in a specific fund, or amount of a debt yet to be paid off.

9. banalities. fees paid to a lord for use of his gristmill, winepress, or similar equipment. Feudal era.

10. bribe. money paid secretly or illegally, often involving a government official, for secret or illegal services.

11. capital gains tax. percentage paid to government on profit made by buying and selling stocks or other valuables.

12. charge card. similar to a credit card but the bearer is not allowed to have a balance and must pay the full amount due each month. For example, American Express is a charge card, not a credit card.

13. check card. similar to a credit card but the money is deducted immediately from the bearer's checking account rather than being loaned to the bearer.

14. chevage. tax collected by the lord of a manor from peasants who lived outside the manor. Feudal era.

15. chit. general term for a piece of paper or card holding some value for exchange.

16. collection. term in the Roman Catholic church for money taken up by the church from worshipers during a worship service.

17. commission. 1) fee for services rendered, taken out of money gained. 2) euphemism for bribe.

18. contribution. 1) donation. 2) euphemism for bribe paid by a company to a government official.

19. coordinated deductible. deductible that is not paid until a separate company ponies up some of the money.

20. corrody. payment in the form of food and drink, and sometimes a room or other goods, paid by an abbot (church official) for services rendered.

21. credit card. card used in a system by which the bearer borrows money from a credit company in order to make purchases. Credit companies issue cards to consumers, set their interest rates, and charge fees to merchants who accept credit card payments.

22. damages. fee paid by person found guilty of a crime.

23. Danegeld. tax levied to fight off Danish invasion of England. Anglo-Saxon era.

24. deductible. a term in the insurance business; it is the amount of money the customer must first pay on a claim before the insurance company will pay.

25. deposit. 1) amount of money one puts into one's bank account. 2) amount of money less than the price of the item, paid to a merchant in order for the merchant to hold the item for the customer.

26. ding. slang term for any fee, deductible, surcharge, etc, forced on an innocent consumer by a corporation such as a bank, credit card company, or merchant account service. (Example: The bank dinged me for two overdraft fees.)

27. distraint. seizure of goods for nonpayment of rent (UK); also called forfeiture.

28. distress. another word for distraint.

29. dividend. a percentage of money invested paid to the investor.

30. donation. money given freely to an organization that performs public services or good works. Also called a charitable donation.

31. duty. fee paid on an item when moving it across the border from one country into another; it supposedly takes the place of the tax you would have paid if you had purchased the item within the country.

32. entry fee. payment by a tenant for admission to a holding. Feudal era.

33. expense or expenses. general term for money that must be paid out to keep the company running: expenses include office rent, worker salaries, cost of paper clips, etc.

34. farm bureau issue. a highly successful form of emergency currency issued and hand signed by the president and secretary of the farm bureau of Millington, Michigan, in 1933.

35. fee. general term for any additional payment required by a government, a merchant, an organizations, etc.

36. forfeiture. seizure of goods for nonpayment of rent (US); also called distraint.

37. fund. general term for an amount of money held for a specific purpose.

38. geldum. another term for tax. Pre-Norman England.

39. gersuma. fee paid to a lord on entering a holding. Feudal era.

40. guerdon. reward.

41. heriot. payment, usually in the form of the best specimen of livestock, made to a manor-lord at the time of death of a tenant, paid by the family of the tenant. Compare mortuary. Feudal era.

42. income tax. taxes paid to the government based on a person's income. Became part of the US Constitution with the 16th Amendment.

43. interest. 1) additional amount paid on a loan, over and above the value of the loan. 2) money earned on an investment.

44. jeton (French: jeter = to push). a small coin-like item used as a counter in making calculations. Called Rechenpfennig (REKH-en-pfen-ikh, reckoning pennies) in Germany. Made of bone, glass, metal, etc. In olden days, metal ones were struck like coins, usually decorated with an ownership mark, coat of arms, religious symbol, etc, but never with a denomination (value) or date. They were large and flat enough to stack well.

45. kola. bribe.

46. levy. 1) a tax. 2) a seizure of property taken to recover back taxes.

47. loan. money given from an individual or lending institution, to another individual or organization, who agrees to pay it back over time, with or without interest.

48. medkniche. fee paid by the haymaker to the lord of the manor, determined by how much hay the hayward (official in charge of haying) can lift to his knees with his middle finger. Feudal era.

49. millage. a type of property tax increase that goes to pay for schools, libraries, or other public services. A "mill" is one-thousandth of a dollar, or one-tenth of a penny; a "millage" is usually an increase of a very small percentage.

50. mortuary. gift given to the parish priest from the estate of a deceased parishioner, usually being the second best specimen of livestock. Compare heriot. Feudal era.

51. minimum order fee. amount added to your order to meet the minimum order amount.

52. mita. payment in the form of public service. Inca empire.

53. multure. gristmill tax. Scotland and feudal England.

54. offering or offertory. term used in most Protestant churches for money taken up by the church from worshipers during a worship service.

55. overhead. euphemism for business expenses.

56. overplus. extra amount over the base or balance.

57. pannage. payment made to a lord for the right of feeding livestock in the lord's forest. Feudal era.

58. payoff. 1) bribe. 2) payment.

59. payola. bribe paid to DJs for playing certain bands or songs on their radio programs. 1960s-1970s term.

60. payout. money spent from a fund.

61. pension. monthly amount paid by a company to retired workers who completed certain qualifications, such as 20 years with the company.

62. pittance. 1) donation to a religious community that has taken vows of poverty. 2) any amount so small it is useless.

63. presentations. payment for fishing rights. Pre-Norman England.

64. profit. general term for any amount of money achieved by buying low and selling high: for example, buying a used LP record for $1 and selling it for $5 results in a net profit of $4. (Gross profit is total profit regardless of expenses; net profit is profit after subtracting expenses.)

65. promissory note. a card or slip of paper written by one individual to the person s/he has borrowed money from, promising to pay the amount back. Also called an I.O.U.

66. prosperity certificate or prosperity scrip. a form of scrip issued by the federal treasury, similar to the trade dollars issued in Howell, Michigan.

67. protection. a type of bribe in which the victim pays a bully, gangster, or thug an amount of money rather than getting beaten up.

68. rate. general term for an amount.

69. reimbursement. money paid after the fact when an amount is necessarily paid out to obtain a specific item or service.

70. relief. a type of death tax: a fee paid by the heir of a vassal to his lord for the privilege of inheriting the vassal's estate. Feudal era.

71. rent. amount paid to a landlord for the privilege of living in his/her property.

72. replevin. recovery by legal mean of goods unlawfully taken from a person.

73. revenue. income; often refers to money collected via taxes.

74. salary. amount earned by a worker regardless of hours worked. Most executive jobs are salaried jobs. The opposite is a wage.

75. scale. general term for wage and/or salary amounts designated by a union. To be paid scale means to be paid the lowest possible amount on the scale according to the job you are doing.

76. scrip. a certificate representing currency, issued in lieu of government currency. Most often used in emergency situations for temporary payment.

77. scutage. fee paid by a knight in order to be excused from military service. Also called a shield tax.

78. settlement. general term for the end result of a lawsuit or legal proceeding; some settlements involve payment of some form.

79. shield tax. another name for scutage.

80. simony. amount paid for the purchase of a religious benefice or indulgence.

81. surcharge. general term for a fee added onto an existing fee.

82. surtax. 1) general term for a tax added onto an existing tax. 2) income tax.

83. tallage. tax paid by serfs to their manorial lord. Feudal era.

84. tariff. a tax paid by merchants who import goods.

85. tax. general term for any money required by the government, usually relating to specific goods or services, and usually determined by a percentage. Types include sales tax, income tax, property tax, television tax, estate tax, and capital gains tax.

86. toll. 1) fee for the privilege of using a private road. 2) fee paid to one's lord for the privilege of selling one's livestock. Feudal era.

87. trade dollar / trade scrip / stamp scrip / stamp money / prosperity scrip. a form of emergency currency invented by the Chamber of Commerce of Howell, Michigan in 1933. The unique feature was that the scrip lost value if it was not spent. Dollars were given away free at first, by participating merchants, who gave out one trade dollar for every $5 worth of goods purchased. If the individual who received it did not spend it within 3 days, s/he had to purchase a 2-cent stamp (also issued by the Chamber of Commerce) and affix it to the scrip. After one trade dollar had been spent 52 times, it had collected $1.04 in stamps and was redeemed for $1.00 in cash. The scheme doubled commerce in Howell and was soon copied by small towns all over Michigan.

88. tranche. a portion of something, usually money. Example: "We're lowering the lowest tranche fee (i.e. for items with a starting price of $0.01 to $0.99) from a quarter to twenty cents." -- eBay, Feb 2006

89. wage. amount earned by a worker who gets paid by the hour. Most jobs requiring little specialized knowledge or skills are wage jobs. The opposite is salary.

90. windfall. government term for any amount of money that comes into one's possession unexpectedly, such as from winning the lottery or having a rich relative die and leave you piles of money.

91. withdrawal. amount of money one takes out of one's bank account.

92. writ of replevin. see replevin.


(Information on auction scrip, farm bureau scrip, prosperity certificates and trade dollars came from Michigan Depression Scrip of the 1930s, by James J. Curto. Reprinted from 'The Numismatist,' copyright 1949. Published by the author, Grosse Pointe, Mich., no date (circa 1960-1970).

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9 Differences between Universalists and Unitarians, and 4 Things They Have in Common

. . . In my experience, the average Unitarian Universalist knows very little about UU history, and what they do know is usually superficial and often downright incorrect. Even more alarming is that often, when I chat about Universalism, I find that the average UU knows even less about Universalist history. Inevitable they will ask me, what's the difference between Unitarians and Universalists anyway? Hence this little list.

Please note: These lists are historical in content. By the 1920s-1940s, most of these differences ceased to matter. American Universalists and American Unitarians consolidated in 1961, although among UUs today there are still some that identify more with one side than the other.

(Much of this material is from the massive book by Russell E. Miller, The Larger Hope, Volume 2: The Second Century of the Universalist Church in America, 1870–1970.)


9 Differences between Universalists and Unitarians

1. In the early days, Universalism appealed mainly to the common people while Unitarianism appealed to a much smaller and wealthier class.

2. In the early days, there were few college graduates among the ministers of Universalism but nearly every Unitarian preacher was a graduate of Harvard.

3. In the early days, Universalist preachers, typified by Hosea Ballou I (1771–1852), were philosophers, poets, reformers, philanthropists. Unitarian preachers, typified by William Ellery Channing (1780–1842), were thinkers, logicians, theologians, controversialists.

4. Unitarians appealed to the aristocratic, cultural, trained mind. Universalists appealed to the democratic, spiritual, "warmth and fervor" side.

5. Universalists hung on to the Bible longer than the Unitarians. Universalists emphasized the goodness of God and the moral leadership of Jesus. Unitarians emphasized biblical criticism and the ethical elements in political and social problems.

6. Unitarianism never took hold among the common people. Unitarians saw their mission being with the scholarly and elite.

7. Universalists were ahead of Unitarians in racial equality. African Americans were members of the first Universalist congregation in America. Universalists started schools and social service agencies to help poverty-stricken blacks after the Civil War. Universalists had interracial congregations in Northern cities and black congregations in the rural South. On the other hand, the American Unitarian Association (AUA) systematically ignored the few black preachers and congregations their faith attracted. In slavery days there were even some Unitarians who owned slaves and defended human slavery, and in the early 20th century the AUA actually published books by Unitarian authors on white racial superiority.

8. Universalists led the way in women's equality. They accepted a woman preacher as early as 1811 (Maria Cook, 1779–1835), ordained the first woman in 1860 (Lydia Ann Jenkins, 1824–1874), and in 1869 had a national organization of Universalist women that stood on par with the church. Unitarians did ordained a few women in the late 1800s, but in the early 20th century they actually pushed women who wanted to be ministers into "parish assistant" roles.

9. There is no record of a Universalist ever excluding a Unitarian from their circle. There are several examples on record of Unitarians excluding Universalists.


4 Things Unitarians and Universalists had in Common

1. Both were radical Protestant denominations with their roots in Europe; both started in North America in the late 1700s. The first Universalist congregation here was formed in Massachusetts in 1779. The first Unitarian congregation, also in Massachusetts, came into being in 1785.

2. Both denominations preached absolute freedom of religion, asserting that each person had the right to question, to learn, and to make up his or her own mind on matters of religious doctrine.

3. Both denominations practiced democracy in church governance.

4. Unitarian and Universalist views of the nature of Jesus have been essentially identical since the late 1700s.

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50 Types of "Computerware"

. . . Silly, cute, and standard terms for types of hardware and software. My one rule for collecting terms for this list is that the term must end -ware.

1. abandonware. another name for orphanware.

2. adware. 1) any software that includes, as part of its function, displays of advertising. For example, some freeware includes ads, with the option of upgrading to a paid version in order to rid yourself of the ads. In such packages the ads typically update themselves via automatic download. 2) any program that secretly downloads, installs, and displays advertising on your computer. Compare annoyware, guiltware, nagware.

3. ageware. video game originally developed for an early game console but which has been converted for play on a contemporary game console. (Term found at Wiktionary as a "protologism" or coined word.)

4. annoyware. any shareware that pops up a lot with ads or requests for payment.

5. betaware. version of a software package that is nearly ready for general release and is currently undergoing one final round of testing and debugging, called "beta testing." Also called a beta version. (During this phase of development, software companies often invite members of the general public to use the software free and to report bugs which are then fixed by the designers before final release; such users are called "beta testers.")

6. bloatware. general term for any software that uses up an enormous amount of diskspace and memory, far out of proportion with its functionality.

7. brochureware. any vaporware that is accompanied by aggressive marketing including brochures.

8. cardware. any type of freeware for which the designer requests that the user only need send a him/her postcard as payment, sometimes with a request for a certain type of postcard. Also called postcardware. Compare mailware.

9. careware. 1) charityware. 2) freeware for which the designer requests that the user do a "good deed" as payment.

10. CDware. 1) promotional software given away free on a compact disk, such as AOL software. 2) freeware for which the designer requests that if the user likes it, s/he sends the designer a CD.

11. censorware. software designed to block certain websites from being downloaded.

12. charityware. shareware that requests a donation to a charity for use of the software. Also called careware, char-ware, donateware.

13. crimeware. general term for any malware that is designed to extort money or other liquid assets from computer users.

14. crippleware. general term for any software that has been deliberately disabled by the manufacturer or distributor by the removal of a major component, so as to encourage users to purchase the full version.

15. crudware. virtually useless software; a general term for most of the freeware circulated by hackers.

16. demo-ware. simplified version of a software product, missing one or more of the main features, intended to allow prospective purchasers a chance to "try out" the program before buying it. Also called liteware, crippleware.

17. donationware. 1) software given away ostensibly for free, but including a request from the designer for a freewill donation. Also called donateware. 2) charityware.

18. firmware. software embedded in a hardware device. Modems, for example, contain firmware, as do many modern cars, phones, television sets, etc.

19. freeware. software given away free. There are many types, including shareware. (Term was trademarked by author and programmer Andrew Fluegelman.)

20. fritterware. software with capabilities that serve no useful purpose, and that usually manage to get users to waste huge amounts of time using it with no noticeable gain.

21. guiltware. general term for any freeware that includes text giving a long sob story about how horrible the user is if s/he does not send the designer some money. Compare adware.

22. hardware. 1) general term for durable goods. 2) general term for building supplies and fixtures. 3) general term for computer machinery and parts; the opposite of software.

23. liteware. another term for demo-ware.

24. liveware. 1) human beings, specifically the ones using computers. 2) another term for wetware: the human brain.

25. mailware. a type of freeware for which the designer requests the user to mail him/her a letter. Compare cardware.

26. malware (Latin: mal = bad). any software that contains malicious programming, such as stealthware, or a computer virus. Also called slimewear.

27. meatware. another word for wetware: the human brain

28. nagware. 1) adware. 2) annoyware. 3) any software that opens with a popup asking you to purchase the software; you have to click through this screen to use the program.

29. oppressionware. software, hardware, or mechanisms in an operating system, used to oppress a co-user, such as restricting programs, capabilities, and features. (Term found at Wiktionary as a "protologism" or coined word.)

30. orphanware. any software that has been discontinued and is no longer available for commercial purchase; either the original designers cannot be located or the company has gone out of business. Users of orphanware are thus unable to get help or support for the product. Also called abandonware.

31. payware. software that must be paid for. Most software is payware. The opposite is freeware or shareware.

32. postcardware. another name for cardware.

33. psychedelicware. software designed only for making pretty pictures, often in a kaleidoscope fashion. Also called a "display hack."

34. registerware. software that requires the user to register, usually for free, in order to use the software. Registration is usually via internet and usually includes personal information.

35. requestware. software in which the designers request users to do something voluntarily as "payment" for the software. Examples include charityware and postcardware.

36. rogue adware. a software product that claims to be an anti-adware fix, but is actually spyware.

37. rogue spyware. a software product that claims to be an anti-spyware fix, but is actually spyware. Some rogue spyware actually attacks your computer's other protections.

38. scumware. any software that intrudes upon the user, or the user's computer, by stealth, in order to further the aims of the software company.

39. scuttleware. general term for any software, including freeware or shareware, that has a time limit built in and self destructs or ceases to function after the time limit has been reached. (Term found at Wiktionary as a "protologism" or coined word.) Also called trialware.

40. shareware. 1. any software that is given away free, but the user has to pay a fee to get support or to get all the features. 2. any free software for which the user is expected to pay a fee after they have decided to keep it; otherwise it will expire. Also called trialware. 3. any commercial software that can be downloaded from the internet; most also require payment via the company's website before the software can be used.

41. sisterware. software, usually freeware, in which the designer requests that you send him "photos or lingerie of your lovely sister!" (sic)

42. shelfware. 1. software that ends up on the shelf; that is, it is never used. 2. software that is developed but never released; it is "shelved" instead.

43. slimewear. another term for malware.

44. software. computer instructions; information directing the operation of a computer. Software packages are written in many different computer languages and are designed for doing many different tasks, from simple typing to designing magazine layouts, cataloging collections, paying bills, tracking sales, operating industrial robots, etc. (In the early days of computers, programming was built into the machine and could not be changed. If you wanted a computer to play chess, you built one to play chess. If you wanted one to do calculus, you built another one to do calculus. It was a breakthrough when software was invented, allowing one computer to be able to do more than one task.)

45. spamware. software used for sending out spam. (Spam is an internet term for unwanted advertisements, usually found in email form, that are sent all over the internet by unscrupulous persons. The term reportedly comes from a Monty Python sketch in which customers at an eatery are unable to order anything that doesn't have Spam in it.)

46. spyware. software that secretly installs files on the user's computer, or secretly collects data on the user, such as financial info or websurfing history, and secretly sends it to the manufacturer or a third party when the user connects to the internet. (This activity is called "covert monitoring.")

47. trialware. software that has a limit on time or number of uses, and will cease to run properly after the limit expires. Trialware often gives you the option to purchase it after it expires. Also called scuttleware. See also shareware.

48. vampireware. general term for any project capable of sucking the lifeblood out of anyone unfortunate enough to be assigned to it; a project which never actually sees the light of day but nonetheless refuses to die. Not necessarily related to computers. (Term found at Wiktionary as a "protologism" or coined word.)

49. vaporware. software that is announced as "coming soon" but is never released; that is, it "vaporizes." In many cases vaporware is not even developed; it is announced merely to generate interest in the company or some other product. Also spelled vapourware. See also brochureware.

50. wetware. humorous term for the human brain. Also called liveware, meatware.

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36 Funny Word Pairs Generated (Sort of Randomly) by BookWorm

. . . BookWorm is a computer game very similar to Boggle. You scan a grid of letters and find strings of letters that make words. You get points for each word. Rare letters are worth more than common letters, and long words are worth more than short words. At the end of each level, the game pauses and tells you the highest-scoring word and the longest word you got on that level. Sometimes these two words make a very silly pair. Here are a few pairs I've collected over the years.

1. Quahog Quaffing

2. Pie Sedation

3. Vole Pleater

4. Fugu Angler

5. Dinky Divots

6. Junk Barrage

7. Pun Teller

8. Run Sinner

9. Alien Didie

10. Hex Treatise

11. Horn Honkers

12. Doozer Patterns

13. Dinner Palate

14. Frat Banger

15. Green Vender

16. Vamp Queens

17. Jeep Scouring

18. Inky Hell

19. Perky Mistletoes

20. Quantile Undertaxing

21. Slug Breeder

22. Queued Spoons

23. Grim Reaper

24. Wars Vain

25. Vacuum Collies

26. Ion Filtering

27. Nacho Renaming

28. Riddler Henchman

29. Beano Battle

30. Jazzy Language

31. Bearded Preambles

32. Fluky Grammar

33. Fork Foundation

34. Feme Trucker

35. Chewy Leapers

36. Zen Dating

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16 Noted Architects who were Universalist or Unitarian

. . . Another little collection of excerpts from A Who's Who of UUs. These men and women are listed in chronological order by date of birth. All are American unless otherwise stated. Prominent structures are in bold. (Please drop me a line if I have left anyone off this list, thanks.)


1. Charles Bulfinch (8 Aug 1763–15 Apr 1844), credited with introducing curved staircase to New England; selectman (city councilman) of Boston 1791–1795, 1799–1817; designed Hollis Street Church (Unitarian) 1788, Massachusetts State House 1800, Massachusetts State Prison 1803, Harvard University Hall 1813–14; designed many parts of the United States Capitol Building 1817–30 (his dome was copied on many state capitols); member of King's Chapel (Unitarian) Boston

2. Jacob Bigelow (7 Feb 1786–10 Jan 1879), M.D. 1810 University of Pennsylvania; primary designer and architect of Mount Auburn Cemetery, Watertown, Massachusetts 1831 (first US burial place called 'cemetery', first to feature gardens, rolling hills, etc.; started national movement to beautify burial places); professor of materia medica 1815–55 and Rumford Professor of Application of Science to Useful Arts 1816–27 at Harvard; wrote Florula Bostoniensis 1814, American Medical Botany 1817–20 (drew illustrations and invented a new color printing process), Elements of Technology 1829 (2 vols, standard for many years); president of the American Academy of Arts and Sciences 1847–63; genus Bigelowia (goldenrod) named in his honor; Unitarian

3. Minard Lafever (Aug 1798–26 Sep 1854), wrote Architectural Instructor 1829–56 (popularizing Greek Revival style) and many other builder's guides; designed the First Unitarian Church 1842–44 and Holy Trinity 1844–47 (both masterpieces of Gothic Revival, Brooklyn); designed the Packer Institute (famous example of collegiate Gothic); also noted for Egyptian Revival and Romanesque styles; Unitarian

4. Charles Ellet, Jr. (1 Jan 1810–21 Jun 1862), built first wire suspension bridge 1841–42 (Fairmont, Pennsylvania); built same over river below Niagara Falls 1849; built longest suspension bridge 1849 (1010 feet, Wheeling, West Virginia) and longest railroad bridge 1853 (18 miles, Blue Ridge); designed flood control for the Mississippi delta 1851; chief engineer on the Virginia Central Railroad from 1852; invented the battering ram steamship 1854; as Colonel of Engineers in the Civil War built and commanded a fleet of battering ram steamships at the Battle of Memphis 1862; raised Quaker, became Universalist

5. Frederick Law Olmsted (26 Apr 1822–28 Aug 1903), landscape architect and gardener; designed New York City's Central Park 1856–61; wrote Cotton Kingdom 1861 (2 vols); executive director of the United States Sanitary Commission 1861–64 (providing civilian assistance to Union Army during Civil War: medical supplies, hospitals, nurses, clothing, etc); director of the Southern Famine Relief Commission 1865–c.1875; designed Washington, D.C.'s park system 1871; president of the park department of New York City 1872; designed major public parks in Brooklyn, Buffalo, Chicago, Montreal, Boston and many other cities; helped design Golden Gate Park in San Francisco; Unitarian but never formally joined a congregation

6. the Rev. Thomas William Silloway (7 Aug 1828–17 May 1910), designed Vermont State Capitol at Montpelier 1857, Dean Academy 1867, Buchtel College 1869, Goddard Seminary 1870 and over 450 church edifices (said to be a record); wrote Theogonis 1856, Textbook of Modern Carpentry 1858, Conference Melodist 1863 and other books; elected member of the New England Historic Genealogical Soc 1864–1910; raised Methodist, became Universalist 1844, ordained same 1862

7. Frank Furness (12 Nov 1839–27 Jun 1912), specialized in Victorian gothic (exuberant decorativeness, optical illusions); hailed as the preeminent Victorian ecclesiastical architect; designed the Pennsylvania Academy of Fine Arts 1871–76, the First Unitarian Church of Philadelphia and many other famous buildings; Unitarian

8. Minerva Parker Nichols (14 May 1861–17 Nov 1949), first successful American solo woman architect 1888; lecturer at the Philadelphia School of Design; designed the Queen Isabella Pavilion for the Columbian Exposition (World's Fair) Chicago 1891 (not built, fair held 1893); designed the New Century Club of Philadelphia 1891, the Browne & Nichols School in Cambridge, Massachusetts, the Unitarian Church of Wilmington, Delaware and many other noted structures; Unitarian

9. Bernard Maybeck (7 Feb 1862–3 Oct 1957), famous for designs incorporating diverse traditions and materials; designed the San Francisco Palace of Fine Arts 1913–15 and many private homes; professor of engineering and architectural drawing at the University of California Berkeley; member of the First Unitarian Church of Berkeley

10. Frank Lloyd Wright (8 Jun 1867–9 Apr 1959), created the famous 'prairie style' (low ceilings, cantilevering, reinforced concrete, screen walls); pioneered extensive use of natural materials; designed the Imperial Hotel in Tokyo 1915–22 and many landmark private homes; founded Taliesin Fellowships in Wisconsin 1932 and Arizona 1938 (architectural apprenticeships); wrote Architecture and Modern Life 1937 and other books; among his famous designs are the Unitarian Church of Madison, Wisconsin, the Guggenheim Museum of Modern Art in New York City, and Unity Temple (Unitarian Universalist) in Oak Park, Illinois; lifelong Unitarian, member of the First Unitarian Church of Madison, Wisconsin

11. Rose Standish Nichols (1872–1960), among the first American professional woman landscape architects and garden designers; director of the Boston Society of Decorative Art; trustee of the Cooperative Building Society; wrote Old Manor House Gardens 1901, English Pleasure Gardens 1902, Spanish and Portuguese Gardens 1924 and other books; helped found the Women's Peace Party 1915; Unitarian

12. Thomas Andrews, Jr. (7 Feb 1873–15 Apr 1912), Irish architect and ship designer; as managing director and head of the drafting department of Harland & Wolff (Belfast, Ireland) designed the Titanic (went down with with ship); member of All Souls Non-Subscribing Presbyterian (Unitarian) Belfast

13. William Emerson (16 Oct 1873–4 May 1957); Ph.D.; director of the bureau of construction of the American Red Cross 1917–19 (Paris); as professor and dean of the department of architecture at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology 1919–39 he added architectural history, theory, humanities, town planning and other topics to the curriculum; first president of the Unitarian Service Committee 1940–53; president of the American Association for the United Nations and many similar activist organizations; awarded the French Legion of Honor for service in WW1; Unitarian

14. Theodora Kimball Hubbard (1887–1935), architect and linguist; first librarian of the Harvard School of Landscape Architecture 1911–24; first woman member of the American City Planning Institute 1919; author of numerous books on city planning and landscape design; Unitarian

15. George B. Brigham, Jr. (1889–1967), professor of architecture at the University of Michigan; wrote noted article 'Prefabrication' 1937; George Brigham Foundation of Architectural Research at University of Michigan named in his honor; member and designer (1955) of the First Unitarian Church of Ann Arbor

16. Buckminster Fuller (12 Jul 1895–1 Jul 1983), inventor; engineer; mathematician; philosopher; invented the dymaxion house 1927, the dymaxion car 1933, the geodesic dome 1947 and other modern scientific wonders; professor at Southern Illinois University 1959–83; wrote Operating Manual for Spaceship Earth 1969 and many other books; earned Medal of Freedom 1983; held over two thousand patents; member of the Unitarian Fellowship of Carbondale, Illinois

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30 Universalist Schools of Higher Education Operating in the United States in the 19th Century

. . . As long as I'm dispelling myths of Universalist history, I might as well post this list.

I hear now and again from my fellow UUs that the Universalist side of our denomination was small and rural and never amounted to all that much until they merged with the Unitarians (1961). Well, I'm not one for lying down when I hear such a myth being perpetuated. Universalists accomplished many things and this list merely recites the vast number of schools of higher education they founded during the period of their greatest activity and influence.

(Apart from these higher institutions of learning, Universalists also opened countless "lower" schools. The list below is in chronological order.)


1. 1819. Nichols Academy, Dudley, Massachusetts, operated under Universalist auspices 1819–1823, closed in 1911, reopened later as a four year college

2. 1831. Clinton Liberal Institute, Clinton, New York, 1831–1900

3. 1831. Westbrook Seminary, Westbrook, Maine, operated by Universalists 1831–1925, then became non-sectarian

4. 1832. Western Union Seminary, Philomath, Indiana, 1832–1841

5. 1833. American Literary, Scientific, and Military Academy, Norwich, Vermont, supported by many Universalists 1833–1847

6. 1835. Waterville Liberal Institute, Waterville, Maine, 1835–1857

7. 1835. Unity Scientific and Military Academy, Unity, New Hampshire, 1835–1840

8. 1835. Lebanon Liberal Institute, Lebanon, New Hampshire, 1835–1850

9. 1838. Methuen Liberal Institute, a.k.a. Murray Institute, Methuen, Massachusetts, 1838–1839

10. 1843. Reading Academy, also known as Reading Seminary, Reading, Massachusetts, 1843–1868, joint effort of Universalist and Unitarians, later called Melrose Academy, Wakefield, Massachusetts, then Greenwood Seminary

11. 1843. Mount Caesar Seminary–Swanzey Academy, Swanzey, New Hampshire, 1843–1859

12. 1844. Southold Academy, Long Island, New York, founded 1834, operated by Universalists from 1844, became Southold Collegiate Institute 1858, operated by St. Patrick's Catholic Church from 1863

13. 1847. Melrose Academy, West Brattleboro, Vermont, 1847–1852

14. 1848. Green Mountain Liberal Institute, then Green Mountain Perkins Institute, South Woodstock, Vermont, 1848–1893

15. 1849. Western Liberal Institute, Marietta, Ohio, 1849–1853

16. 1852. Tufts College, Boston, Massachusetts, 1852–1955, became Tufts University, 1955–present

17. 1865. Dean Academy, Franklin, Massachusetts, 1865–1957

18. 1851. Illinois Liberal Institute, Galesburg IL, 1851–1857, became Lombard University 1857–1900, prep school called Lombard College added in 1900. Taken over by Unitarians in 1928 as part of a proposed merger of denominations. Merged with Knox College in 1930 and Lombard College as a separate institution came to an end (see number 28). Was the first college or university to admit women to all its departments and all its degree programs equally with men.

19. 1852. Divinity School, then Crane Theological School, part of Tufts University, Medford, Massachusetts

20. 1852. Orleans Liberal Institute, Glover, Vermont, 1852–1872

21. 1856. St. Lawrence University, Canton, New York, 1856–1910, ceased to be run by Universalists 1910 http://www.stlawu.edu/

22. 1858. Canton Theological School, part of St. Lawrence University

23. 1866. Jefferson Liberal Institute, Jefferson, Wisconsin, 1866–1877, became public school 1877

24. 1867. Smithson College, Logansport, Indiana, 1867–1878, sexes were equal in rules, salaries, classes, etc.

25. 1868. Goddard Seminary, Barre, Vermont, 1868–1938, became Goddard College, Plainfield, Vermont, 1938–present http://www.goddard.edu/

26. 1872. Mitchell Seminary, Mitchellville, Iowa, 1872–1879

27. 1872. Buchtel College, Akron, Ohio, 1872–1907, ceased to be run by Universalists in 1907, evolved into University of Akron. In 1875, the college had two professorships for women endowed by contributions of Universalist women.

28. 1881. Ryder Divinity School, theological school attached to Lombard University, Galesburg, Illinois, 1881–1912. The school was transferred to Chicago and affiliated with the University of Chicago Divinity Schools 1912–1928, then transferred to Meadville Theological School (opened by Unitarians in Meadville, Pennsylvania, later moved to Illinois) in 1928. Today the school is known as Meadville/Lombard.

29. 1891. Throop Polytechnic Institute, Pasadena, California, 1891–1894, Universalists ceased to control it in 1894, it evolved into the California Institute of Technology in 1920

30. 1899. Southern Industrial College, Camp Hill, Alabama, 1899–1942, passed out of Universalist hands about 1942, named changed to Lyman Ward Military Academy 1955

(The vast majority of these data were extracted from The Larger Hope, Volume 1: The First Century of the Universalist Church in America, 1770–1870, by Russell E. Miller, published by Boston: Unitarian Universalist Association, 1979)

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6 Universalist Unitarian Congregations Formed Prior to 1934, and 11 Other Examples of Unitarian Universalist Cooperation Prior to 1934

. . . Why 1934, you ask? That is the date in which the Unitarian congregation in Detroit joined up with the Universalist congregation in Detroit to form the "First Unitarian-Universalist Church." (*)

Members of this congregation are often heard to say that theirs was the first congregation in which Universalists and Unitarians joined. Well, being a stickler for accurate history, I feel compelled to dispell this local myth, so I put together these two little lists. (Please email me if I have missed anything that should be on these lists, thanks.)


6 Universalist Unitarian Congregations Formed Prior to 1934

1. 1827, in Louisville, Kentucky, a religious society was organized and a joint meeting house was built by Unitarians and Universalists. Soon, however, the Unitarians excluded the Universalists and the society fell apart. Universalists reorganized in 1840 and again merged with the Unitarians in 1870.

2. 1834, the first Universalist meeting house in Alabama was erected at Montgomery. It was a joint venture, named the "First Unitarian Universalist Society of Montgomery." The congregation was dormant by 1839.

3. 1858, Unitarians and Universalists joined in Dubuque, Iowa. There was much debate at the time over whether to use "Unitarian," "Universalist," or "Liberal Christian" as the name.

4. 1871, in Oak Park, Illinois, "Unity Temple" was founded jointly by Unitarians and Universalists. Their famous edifice was designed by Frank Lloyd Wright.

5. 1878, the local Unitarian and Universalist churches in Englewood Illinois, a suburb of Chicago, combined and named themselves the "Christian Union Society."

6. 1909, "All Souls Universalist-Unitarian Church," in Waterbury, Connecticut, was dedicated.


11 Other Examples of Unitarian Universalist Cooperation Prior to 1934

1. 1848, the Rev. Thomas Starr King, already ordained Universalist, became dually fellowshipped as a Unitarian and Universalist.

2. 1868, a combined Universalist Unitarian organization called the "Conference of Liberal Christians" was formed in the Missouri Valley.

3. 1899, Unitarians and Universalists formed the "Committee of Conference," a national organization for closer cooperation. It lasted until 1907.

4. 1916, Unitarian and Universalist clergy of the Boston area held their first joint meeting. Both Lee S. McCollester, president of the Universalist Church of American and dean of Crane Theological School, and Samuel Atkins Eliot, president of the American Unitarian Association, spoke.

5. 1928, the Illinois Universalist Convention and the Illinois Unitarian Conference held their first joint meeting.

6. 1931, the "Free Church Fellowship" was founded to join Unitarians and Universalists. It lasted until 1937.

7. 1932, "Uni-Uni" was in use as a nickname among the national youth organizations of both denominations.

8. 1932, a joint hymnal commission was established, made up of Universalists and Unitarians. They published Hymns of the Spirit ("the red hymnal") in 1937.

9. 1933, the Minnesota Universalist Convention and the Minnesota Unitarian Conference held their first joint meeting.

10. 1933, the "Wayside Pulpit," a Unitarian program, joined with its Universalist equivalent, the "Community Pulpit."

11. 1933, the Universalist Publishing House began printing the "Unitarian Register," a national Unitarian periodical.


(Most of these facts are found in Russell E. Miller, The Larger Hope, published in 2 volumes, 1979, 1985)

(*) The Unitarians' building was partly demolished when Woodward Avenue, the main thoroughfare in Detroit, was widened in 1934. They sold what was left of their building and moved in with the Universalists, about six blocks away, whose small but handsome 1916 edifice is still serving as the congregation's home.

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18 UU Actors and Entertainers

. . . culled from my not-so-little booklet, A Who's Who of UUs. Listed in chronological order by date of birth.

1. Fanny Kemble (Frances Ann Kemble) (1809–93), English but lived some time in US. actor; playwright; author; poet; activist for the abolition of slavery; wrote Journal of a Resident on a Georgia Plantation 1863 (influential anti-slavery book); credited as first truly great actress in US; first celebrity to wear and popularize bloomers 1860s (part of women's clothing reform movement); raised Anglican, became Unitarian

2. Charlotte Saunders Cushman (1816–76), American but lived some time in London and Rome. actor; opera star; theater manager; famous for portraying male roles such as Romeo and Hamlet; considered the greatest Lady Macbeth of her time (1836); sponsored a pioneer group of women sculptors including Harriet Hosmer 1850s; elected to the American Hall of Fame; Unitarian

3. Mabel H.B. Mussey (Mabel Hayes Barrows Mussey) (1873–1931), dancer; dramatic director; writer; literary critic; originator of numerous Greek dances and Latin plays; produced numerous plays at Hull House; director and creator of numerous pageants; compiled Unitarian hymnal Social Hymns of Brotherhood and Aspiration 1914

4. Edna May Oliver (1883–1942), actor; singer; pianist; movie star; comedian; direct descendant of John Quincy Adams; earned Academy Award nomination for 'Drums Along the Mohawk' 1939; Unitarian

5. Andy Devine (1905–77), actor; semi-professional football player; popular character actor in over 400 films; well known as Roy Rogers' portly, raspy-voiced sidekick 'Cookie'; regular on 'Jack Benny's Radio Show' 1936–42; host of television show 'Andy's Gang' 1955–60; Unitarian Universalist

6. T. Berry Brazelton (1918– ), M.D., pediatrician; author; created the Neonatal Behavioral Assessment Scale for rating neurological responses of newborns; with Edward Tronick founded the Child Development Unit at Children's Hospital, Boston, 1972; professor of pediatrics at Harvard; professor of psychiatry and human development at Brown; host of cable series 'What Every Baby Knows'; president of the Society for Research in Child Development 1987–89; president of the Nationall Center for Clinical Infant Programs 1988–91; Unitarian Universalist

7. Irene Dailey (1920– ), actor; star of several Broadway shows; founded the School of Actors Company; starred in 'Edge of Night' 1969–74, 'Another World' 1974–86, 1987–93; won Emmy Award 1979; raised Roman Catholic, became Unitarian

8. Steve Allen (1921–2000), comedian; singer-songwriter; author; television personality; host of the 'Steve Allen Show' 1950–52, 1956–61; 'Tonight Show' 1953–57, 'Steve Allen Comedy Hour' 1967, 1980–81; wrote over 400 songs and several mystery novels; member Unitarian Universalist Church of Los Angeles

9. Rod Serling (1924–75), dramatist; television producer; anti-censorship and anti-nuclear activist; narrator or host of countless television shows, specials and commercials; wrote many famous early television plays including 'Patterns' 1955, 'Requiem for a Heavyweight' 1959 (won an Emmy for each); first writer to win Peabody Award 1956; creator-producer 'Twilight Zone' 1959–64; president of the National Academy of Television Arts and Sciences 1963–65 (first writer so elected); earned a total of six Emmys; raised nominally Jewish, longtime member Unitarian Church of Santa Monica, California

10. Paul Newman (1925–2008), actor; director; philanthropist, social activist; with A.E. Hotchner founded Newman's Own 1982 (Westport CT, line of food products, all profits to charity); four-time winner Sports Car Club of America National Championship; with Carl Haas founded Newman/Haas Racing 1983; earned three Academy Awards (lifetime achievement 1986, 'Color of Money' 1987, Jean Hersholt Humanitarian Award for social activism 1994) and nine other nominations; founded Hole in the Wall Gang Camp 1988 (for children with serious illness, Ashford CT, now large group of camps); oldest driver to win a professional auto race 1995 (24 Hours Daytona, age 70); regularly attended Westport Unitarian Universalist Church where his wife Joanne Woodward, is an active member

11. Joanne Woodward (1930– ), actor; producer; director; social activist; earned Academy Award for 'Three Faces of Eve' 1957 and three other nominations; two Emmys; artistic director of the Westport (CT) Country Playhouse; national trustee Nature Conservancy; member Westport Unitarian Universalist Church—wife of Paul Newman

12. Diahann Carroll (1935– ), actor; singer; became famous as star of films 'Carmen Jones' 1954 and 'Porgy and Bess' 1957; star of 'Julia' 1968–71 (first African-American central character of television series); first black actress to replace a white actress in a Broadway show 1983 ('Agnes of God'); first African-American woman star of a nighttime soap ('Dynasty') 1984–87; first African-American with her own clothing line 1997; earned Academy Award nomination for 'Claudine' 1974; won Tony for 'No Strings' 1962; Unitarian Universalist

13. Cher (Cherilyn Sarkisian) (1946– ), actor; singer; humanitarian; fitness maven; earned Academy Award nomination 1984 ('Silkwood'); won Academy Award for 'Moonstruck' 1988; Grammy Award 1999; Emmy Award 2003; Emmy nominations 1972, 1973, 1974, 1975, 2000; won three Golden Globes and many other awards; Unitarian Universalist

14. Patty Duke (1946– ), actor; social activist; earned Academy Award for 'The Miracle Worker' 1962; star of 'The Patty Duke Show' 1963–65; first woman president of the Screen Actors Guild 1985–88; Roman Catholic then Christian Scientist then Unitarian Universalist

15. The Rev. Thandeka (1946– ) (tahn-DAY-ka) (born Sue Booker, adopted !Xhosa name given to her by Anglican Bishop Desmond Tutu in 1984), Ph.D., author; theologian; television producer; journalist; fellow Stanford Humanities Center, Palo Alto; assistant professor of philosophy at San Francisco State University; professor of religion at Williams College; professor of theology and culture at Meadville/Lombard 1998– ; president of the Center for Community Values; wrote The Embodied Self 1995, Learning to Be White: Money, Race, and God in America 1999 and other books; regional Emmy for 'As Adam, Early in the Morning'; raised Baptist, became Unitarian 1964

16. Jill Eikenberry (1947– ), actor; breast cancer survivor and activist; star of 'L.A. Law' 1986–94 and many films and TV movies; Unitarian Universalist

17. Christopher Reeve (1952–2004), actor; activist for environment, human rights, rights of the disabled; starred in 'Superman' 1978 and many other major movies; paralyzed 1995; vice chair of the National Organization on Disability; founded the Reeve Paralysis Foundation 1999; raised Unitarian, briefly Scientologist then Unitarian Universalist

18. Andre Braugher (1962– ) (BROW-er), actor; star of 'Homicide: Life on the Street' 1993–98 (earned Emmy 1998); title character on 'Gideon's Crossing' 2000–01; won Emmy for cable series 'Thief' 2006; member Unitarian Universalist Church of Baltimore

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10 Welsh Unitarian Leaders and 1 Notable Welsh Universalist

. . . Culled from my not-so-little booklet, A Who's Who of UUs.

1. The Rev. D. Jacob Davies (1916–74), poet; television personality; champion of Welsh language, literature and culture; wrote Plwm Pwdin, a Rhagor o Storïau Digrif 1950 and other works in Welsh; Unitarian

2. The Rev. John Gwenogvryn Evans (1852–1903), scholar and paleographer of Welsh history and literature; printer-publisher of facsimile editions of ancient Welsh manuscripts; honorary D.Litt from Oxford 1901; ordained Unitarian 1877

3. The Rev. Thomas Evans (a.k.a. Tomos Glyn Cothi) (1764–1833), poet; hymnwriter; radical; translated into Welsh and published works of radical Unitarian preachers Joseph Priestley and Theophilus Lindsey; editor-publisher of highly controversial paper 'Miscellaneous Repository' 1795–96; imprisoned for sedition 1801–03; author-publisher of the English-Welsh Dictionary 1809 and hymnal Cyfansoddiad O Hymnau 1811; minister at Hen-Dy-Cwrdd Unitarian Chapel for 22 years, 1811–33 (first Unitarian church in Wales, founded 1751)

4. Thomas Griffiths (a.k.a. Tau Gimel, Thomas Jeremy) (c.1797–1871), hymnwriter; while minister at Cribin and Ciliau Aeron 1822–41 founded several schools; author-editor of the hymnal Casgliad o Hymnau 1830; Unitarian

5. Baron Sir Benjamin Hall (1802–67), Member of Parliament for 28 years, 1831–59; known there for his height and corpulence as 'Big Ben'; legend has it that as the first minister of public works 1855–58 his name was cast into the great bell installed into the Houses of Parliament in London, whence came the bell's nickname, 'Big Ben'; Unitarian

6. The Rev. Jenkin Lloyd Jones (1843–1918), Welsh–American social activist; uncle of famed architect Frank Lloyd Wright; organizer of Unitarian fellowships (lay-led congregations); founding secretary of the Western Unitarian Sunday School Society 1874–80; president of the Western Unitarian Conference 1875–84; founding editor 'Unity' 1878–97 (weekly of same); founding pastor of Chicago's first multi-racial congregation, All Souls Church, 1882–1918; organized the first World Parliament of Religions 1893 (gathering of all world faiths, model for interfaith cooperation, part of the Columbian Exposition, a.k.a. Chicago World's Fair); founding president of the Congress of Religions 1893–1906; founding general secretary of the American Congress of Liberal Religion 1894–1906; founding trustee and head resident of the Abraham Lincoln Centre, an enormous non-sectarian social service origination in Chicago, 1900–18; ordained Unitarian 1870

7. John Jones (c.1766–1827), author; classical scholar; expert on ancient languages; frequent contributor to periodicals; assistant tutor at the Presbyterian (Unitarian) Academy in Swansea 1792–95; founding principal of a school at Halifax, Yorkshire 1798; wrote Events Calculated to Restore Christian Religion to Purity 1800, Grammar of the Greek Tongue 1808, Grammar of the Latin Tongue 1810, Greek and English Lexicon 1823, Principles of Lexicography 1824 and many other books; honorary LL.D. from the University of Aberdeen 1818; Unitarian

8. The Rev. Richard Price (1723–1791), D.D.; Welsh–English; philosopher; author; among the principal leaders of English Nonconformism (Unitarianism); elected member of the Royal Society 1765; wrote Principle Questions in Morals 1757, An Appeal to the Public on the Subject of the National Debt 1772, Observations on Civil Liberty 1776 (supporting American independence) and other books on finances, politics, theology; longtime pastor at Unitarian Church of Newington Green (now part of London)

9. The Rev. James Relly (1722–78), theologian; wrote Union: or Treatise on Consanguinity and Affinity between Christ and His Church 1759 (the first important modern work on universal salvation, published in London); credited with converting pioneer American preacher the Rev. John Murray from Methodism to Universalism; ordained Methodist, defrocked, became Universalist

10. The Rev. William Thomas (bardic name Gwilym Marles) (1834–79), great-uncle of poet Dylan Thomas; poet; hymnwriter; social reformer; founding principal of a grammar school at Llwynrhydown; Unitarian

11. Edward Williams (bardic name Iolo Morganwg) (1747–1826), poet; 'the Welsh Shakespeare;' founded Gorsedd Beirdd Ynys Prydain (Community of Bards of the Island of Britain); forged large assortment of 'ancient' manuscripts including 'unknown' poems by famous bards, Druid antiquities and lore, bardic alphabet, etc; compiled hymnal Salmau yr Eglwys yn yr Anialwch 1812; founded the South Wales Unitarian Society

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40 Synonyms for Universalism

. . . As a student of Universalist history, I find myself intrigued by all the words and phrases that have been used over the years to refer to Universalism or to the doctrine of universal salvation, the primary tenet of Universalism.

I have collected over 100 of these words and phrases but am posting only 40 here. They have been culled from many sources, the most common being 19th-century American books and periodicals published by Universalists. This religion was the fifth largest in the United States in the 1850s and 1860s and the great majority of my research has been around this period.

Unitarian Universalists have a tendency to undercut or even ignore Universalist history for some reason. (I am collecting examples of this tendency and will post them here one day.) And, while Unitarian history does interest me somewhat, there are already plenty of people doing research there, but only a handful of people researching Universalism. As a lifelong Unitarian Universalist I have witnessed countless examples of our faith being referred to solely as Unitarianism, but for myself, I am more inspired by the history and message of Universalism.

General Terms

• 1. universalism
  
• 2. universal salvation
  
• 3. universal grace
  
• 4. universal holiness and happiness
  
• 5. universal reconciliation
  
• 6. universal restoration
  
• 7. restorationism
  
• 8. the larger faith
  
• 9. the larger hope
  
• 10. the great salvation
  
• 11. the better gospel
  
• 12. the message of universal joy
  
• 13. primitive Christianity
  
• 14. liberal Christianity
  
• 15. the Abrahamic religion
  

Terms from Adherents

• 16. Origenism, the belief that all people will attain heaven, not just a select few. After Origen of Alexandria (185-254), Egyptian theologian, leader of a school of theology at Alexandria 203-254, compiler of the first parallel-text bibles, the Hexapla and Octapla
  
• 17. Arminianism and 18. Remonstrantism, the belief that Christ died for all, not some. After the Rev. Jacobus Arminius (1560-1609), Dutch theologian, chair of theology at the University of Leiden 1595-1609, first to espouse the doctrine of free will. His followers were called Remonstrants.
  
• 19. Rellyism or Rellyanism, the doctrine of universal salvation. After the Rev. James Relly (1722-1778), Welsh theologian, wrote Union: or a Treatise on Consanguinity and Affinity between Christ and His Church 1759, the first important modern work on universalism
  

Terms from the Rev. Stephen R. Smith (1788-1850), founder and major fundraiser of Clinton Liberal Institute, 1831, the first nonsectarian school in New York state; first minister to regularly include a question-and-discussion period following his sermon c.1815 (this event was known as a talkback in the 1970s)

• 20. the free church
  
• 21. the better covenant
  
• 22. the everlasting gospel
  
• 23. the gospel of illimitable grace
  
• 24. the message by which captive souls were made free
  
• 25. the purification and happiness of the entire human race
  

Terms from the Rev. Thomas Barns (1749-1816) (later spelled Barnes), primary Universalist preacher in Maine from 1799 to 1816. As a member of the Massachusetts legislature 1807-1814, Barns successfully ended taxation by Congregationalists of Universalists, Methodists, and Baptists in New Gloucester (now Maine) in 1807. He also served as president 1809-1812 of what was to become the Universalist Church of America.

• 26. the impartial gospel of the Lord Jesus
  
• 27. salvation, full, free and sure
  
• 28. the gospel hope in the salvation of a whole world
  

Terms from the Rev. Abraham Norwood (1806-1880), early American Universalist evangelist. He wrote Religious Proscription for Opinion's Sake 1832 and Acts of the Elders, Commonly Called the Book of Abraham 1842, two popular defenses of Universalism which converted many.

• 29. the Universalean belief
  
• 30. the most happifying truth ever presented to man
  
• 31. the gospel of universal benevolence and salvation
  

Terms from the Rev. Thomas Allin (1835-1908), minister in the Church of England. He wrote Universalism Asserted: On Authority of Reason, the Fathers, and Holy Scripture in 1887.

• 32. the liberation of all souls
  
• 33. the restoration of every fallen spirit
  
• 34. the final conversion of all evil beings
  

Miscellaneous Terms

• 35. that precious faith (from the Rev. Edward Mott Woolley, 1803-1853)
  
• 36. the Democracy of Christianity (from the Rev. James Freeman Clarke, 1810-1888, Unitarian)
  
• 37. the sublime and heavenly doctrine of universal benevolence (from the Rev. Pitt Morse, 1796-1860)
  
• 38. the doctrine of God's universal goodness to his children (from Lucy Barns, 1780-1839, daughter of the Rev. Thomas Barns)
  
• 39. finished salvation (from the Rev. James Relly)
  

Finally, a modern reference remarkable for its candor

• 40. the black hole of our history (from Nancy Proctor, who, after completing an online course on UU history offered by the Starr King School for Religion, founded by Unitarians, said one of the references filled "what for me is the black hole of our history," referring to Universalism)

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12 Problems with Public Education

. . . What's wrong with public education? Nothing, except the schools!

First thing, I do fully support the notion of public schools for all, but I do not necessarily support the way public schools operate. The following issues and opinions are based solely on my experience as a student in the public schools of Livonia, Michigan, from 1970 to 1982. I have no knowledge as to how things are being done today, but I expect that a lot of these issues are ongoing, and that a lot of other school systems have these issues as well.

(Aside: I've often thought about collecting a book full of "teacher screws" -- that's what I call any true event in which a school official screws an innocent student in some way or other. Every person I have ever mentioned this idea to has had at least one "teacher screw" story to tell. I have dozens of 'em. This list includes three as representative samples.)

1. Exams.

Exams prove only what you can memorize and have nothing to do with learning. Yet everyone worries themselves to death over them. What a big waste of time and effort.

2. Honors.

Back when I was in school this was always a big deal but I did not understand what it meant and no one ever explained it satisfactorily. (Wikipedia has finally solved this problem.) But seriously, education should not be confused with competition.

3. Grade levels based on age.

Completely stupid.

4. Bullying.

Twelve years of being merciless bullied in public school and never once did I see a grown-up interfere with a bastard who was bullying me. Sometimes a teacher or administrator was right there and saw it all but seemed to pretend it wasn't happening. Several times I got in trouble for defending myself (not with violence). On only one occasion a creep who had been bullying me actually got in trouble, but this was 1) only after I had absolutely refused to go to school, and 2) only after my mom complained to the school. I could write reams on this topic.

5. Arbitrary rules.

Found out about a lot of their stupid rules only after I had broken them. Ask yourself if that's fair.

6. Bells.

Can't think of a worse thing to do to innocent school children then to make them jump when you ring a bell. All day. Like living in a prison.

7. Time increments.

Each class is 54 minutes long. Then you have six minutes to get to the next class. Six minutes of extra hell, five times a day. And the bells.

8. Regimentation.

Same stupid routine, every day. Who thinks this is good for learning?

9. The food.

I was lucky and did not have to rely on the school food, because given my difficulties with most food, I would have starved.

10. Freedom of speech, not.

One story of many on this topic: Wore a t-shirt to school once that said "They must think I'm a mushroom cause they keep me in the dark and feed me on bull crap." I was called to the office and told to put on a shirt from my gym locker, or, if I didn't have a shirt in my gym locker, to turn the shirt inside out. I was not allowed to wear the shirt in a way that people could actually read it.

11. Enforced nudity.

Yup. Eighth grade gym class. Teacher required you to shower at the end of class, and to be seen showering, and to be completely naked, and for you to present yourself to the student aide who would make sure you were completely naked before you started your shower. Needless to say I never once took a shower in that class. This was to avoid public humiliation from the nudity. At the end of the semester I was publicly humiliated anyway by the same accursed teacher who announced I was "most likely to never take a shower."

12. Pay phone.

There was a pay phone in my high school. It was in the hallway where anyone could use it. On a few occasions I escaped from the bullies and bastards for a few minutes by pretending to be on the phone during lunch hour or in between classes. I promptly got in trouble for "using the phone too much." Hunh?? What is the phone doing there in the first place? What is "too much?" And who the hell was watching me use the phone?

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24 Goldwynisms from UUs

. . . The word Goldwynism was coined in the early 20th century for a quotation that carries an internal contradiction. It was named for famed movie producer Samuel Goldwyn (1879-1974) who was notorious for making firm pronouncements that seemed clear but, technically speaking, simply made no sense, such as: "Include me out"; "I'll give you a definite maybe"; "We're overpaying him but he's worth it."

The following Goldwynisms, lovingly collected over many years, sprung from the mouths of confused Unitarians and Universalists all across the world.


1. "I cherish the greatest respect toward everybody's religious obligations, never mind how comical." Herman Melville

2. "Say NO to negativity." the Rev. John Corrado

3. "The Garden of Eden is boring as Hell." the Rev. Davidson Loehr

4. "He's universally loved by dozens." U. Utah Phillips, singer-songwriter

5. "If you're going to misuse a word, do it right." Jessie Munro, author, critic

6. "I know what pot smells like because I've read all about it." Jessie Munro

7. "It just isn't Christmas until we've sung the Hanukkah song." overheard during coffee hour at a UU church, reported by Elizabeth Norton, 2008

8. "I have approximately nothing to report." William Hatton, committee chair

9. "It's so hot my armpits are sticking to each other." college student Kathleen Jacobs-Johnson

10. "I like the Ann Arbor art fair better because they have a better variety of crap." art fair visitor Kathleen Jacobs-Johnson

11. "Compassionate conservativism? When I hear neocons using the word compassion I just want to slug them." liberal-minded Kathleen Jacobs-Johnson

12. "Turn off that noise—I can't hear a word edgewise!" disgruntled roommate Kathleen Jacobs-Johnson

13. "I've had an excellent vocabulary since before I could talk." Gwen Foss

14. "You're throwing money out the window when you leave the door open." Gwen Foss, trying to convice thoughtless roommates to close the door during winter

15. "There are three kinds of people: those who can count and those who can't." overheard

16. "I washed a sock. Then I put it in the dryer. When I took it out, it was gone." overheard

17. "You can go with me or we can go together; it's up to you." Henry Clerval, college professor

18. "Occasionally I decide to be impulsive." Vanity Decklestad, author, folklorist

19. "Can you keep your voices down so everyone can see?" Bonnie Schorer Clark, trying to run church auction, to unruly crowd

20. "No one can shut me up unless they tie my hands behind my back." Heather Hicks, religious education teacher

21. "Does the album have any songs you like that aren't on it?" Henry Newt, music critic

22. "He had the same condition I've got, only mine is much worse." overheard at a funeral

23. "The show's only a half hour long. You can't do Hitler justice in half an hour." Peter H. Foss, my dad, complaining about the length of a certain television documentary

24. "If you haven't seen it before, it's certainly worth seeing again." Millie Foss, my mom, trying to talk a friend into seeing one of her favorite movies

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Many of these quotes first appeared in The Confused Quote Book: 395 Slips, Misses and Errors Spoken by the High, the Mighty and other Celebrities, compiled by Gwen Foss, Avenel NJ: Gramercy Books/Random House Value Publishing, 1997, long out of print

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71 Ways to Be "Fired"

. . . A list I started on 17 May 1984, the first time I got fired from a job. I also list below five euphemisms for "unemployed," and 35 truly horrid euphemisms invented by large corporations when they decide to fire lots of people and want to make it sound like a great idea. (A nod to Annabelle Gurwitch, whose documentary Fired! inspired me to post these old lists.)

71 Euphemisms for "Fired"

1. ankled
2. arseholed (Australia)
3. asked not to come back
4. axed
5. benched
6. best-shored (your job was given to someone overseas)
7. blown off
8. booted
9. bounced
10. burned
11. canned
12. cashiered (military term: demoted or discharged and publicly humiliated)
13. code fived (Domino's Pizza: fired without possibility of rehire)
14. contracted out
15. curtailed
16. degraded (same as cashiered)
17. discharged
18. discontinued
19. dismissed
20. downsized
21. drummed out
22. dumped
23. fired
24. flexibility (the right of a company to fire anyone for any reason)
25. forcibly retired
26. forty-eight-and-a-halved (short-order restaurant slang)
27. f*cked over
28. furloughed
29. given leave to go
30. given the sack
31. given walking papers
32. given your cards
33. gone
34. got the arse (Australia)
35. got the axe
36. got the bullet (19th century term)
37. got the gate
38. history
39. kicked
40. kicked to the curb
41. let go
42. lost your job
43. made redundant (UK)
44. offboarded (laid off)
45. organized out
46. ousted
47. out on your ear
48. outsourced (your job was given to someone overseas)
49. outta here
50. permanently laid off
51. pink slipped
52. pipped (from PIP = profit improvement plan)
53. purged
54. redundant (UK)
55. released
56. reorganized
57. restructured (UK)
58. retired
59. riffed (from RIF = reduction in force)
60. rightsized
61. ripped (from RIPP = reduction in personnel plan)
62. ritually dismissed (same as cashiered)
63. rotated out
64. sacked (UK)
65. selected out
66. sidelined (laid off)
67. suspended (laid off)
68. terminated
69. told to clean out your desk
70. toast
71. unloaded

Five Euphemisms for "Unemployed"

1. at large
2. at liberty
3. between jobs
4. (person) of leisure
5. on furlough

35 Euphemisms for "Downsizing"

Downsizing itself is a euphemism for a mass firing, also called layoffs (another euphemism). When the term comes from a specific corporation, I have listed that as well.

1. aligning operations
2. brightsizing (firing the brightest employees)
3. business process re-engineering
4. buying out (employee) contracts
5. career alternative enhancement program (Chrysler)
6. career-change opportunity (Clifford of Vermont)
7. career-transition program (General Motors)
8. cleaning the staff
9. downsizing
10. drawdown (US military term for withdrawal of part of a force from an area)
11. elimination of employment security policy (Pacific Bell)
12. focused reduction (Tandem Computers)
13. force management program (AT&T)
14. global workforce alignment
15. head-count reduction
16. involuntary separation from payroll (Bell Labs)
17. involuntary severance (Digital Equipment Corp)
18. normal payroll adjustment (Wal*Mart)
19. offboarding
20. outsourcing (firing US workers and hiring cheap labor overseas)
21. profit improvement plan (PIP)
22. rebalancing the level of human capital
23. redeployment (US military term for troop movement)
24. reducing duplication (Tandem Computers)
25. reduction in force, or RIF (Newsweek)
26. reduction in personnel plan, or RIPP
27. reduction in staff
28. release of resources (Bank of America)
29. repositioning (Stanford University)
30. reorganizing
31. reshaping (National Semiconductor)
32. rightsizing
33. schedule adjustments (Stouffer Foods Corp)
34. smartsizing
35. strengthening global effectiveness (Proctor & Gamble)

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33 Unitarian Publishers

. . . Names of Unitarians who were publishers and/or printers, most in the United States, some in Europe, one in India. I have listed them in chronological order by earliest date found, and have listed other known dates they were in operation. I have also listed their home city and, if I have the address, I have given that as well. Some of these individuals were Unitarians for only part of their lives, but I have listed their publishing careers as fully as I can. See also my post from yesterday, 34 Universalist publishers.

1560s

1. Rakow Press — Rakow, Poland, 1569 (Jadwiga Sienienska, proprietor)

1740s

2. Rogers & Fowle — Queen-street, Boston, 1741, 1749; Fowle — Queen-street, Boston, 1754; Daniel Fowle — Portsmouth NH, 1757

1770s

3. Joseph Johnson — London, England, 1772-1808

1780s

4. Greenleaf & Freeman — Boston, 1785

1820s

5. New-York Unitarian Book Society — NY, 1822

6. F. B. Wright — Castle Street, Liverpool, England, 1822-25; R. B. Wright — Liverpool, England, 1829

7. Unitarian Press — Dhurmtollah, Calcutta, India, 1823 (Ram Mohun Roy, 1774-1833, and Rev. William Adam, 1796-1881, proprietors)

8. Unitarian Book and Pamphlet Society — Boston, Aug 1827-1838

1830s

9. American Unitarian Association — Boston, 1830s-1961

10. Ticknor & Fields (James T. Fields, 1817-1881) — Boston, 1854–68; Fields, Osgood & Co. — Boston, 1868-71; James R. Osgood & Co. — Boston, 1871-78; J. R. Osgood & Co. — Boston, 1877

11. L. C. Bowles — Boston, 1835; Leonard C. Bowles, 134 Washington Street, Boston, 1854, 1864

1840s

12. Unitarian Association — London, England, 1840

1850s

13. H. Farley — Boston, 1851 (Harriet Farley)

14. Walker, Wise & Co. — 245 Washington Street, Boston, 1859-64

15. Beacon Press — Boston, 1850s to present

1870s

16. British & Foreign Unitarian Association — 178 Strand, London, 1871, 1878, 1893

1880s

17. Geo. H. Ellis — Boston, 1880-1913; G. H. Ellis — 1881

18. Charles H. Kerr & Co. — Chicago, 1886–1928; C. H. Kerr & Co. — Chicago, 1899

19. W.H. Gannett Co. — Augusta ME, 1887 (William Howard Gannett, 1854-?)

1910s

20. Haldeman-Julius Publications — Girard KS, 1919–51 (Emanuel Haldeman-Julius, 1889-1951)

1920s

21. W. M. Kiplinger — Washington DC, 1923-67 (Williard Monroe Kiplinger, 1891-1967)

22. Guy Gannett Communications 1921-54 (Guy Patterson Gannett, 1881-1954)

23. Gannett Co. — 1923-57 (Frank Earnest Gannett, 1876-1957)

24. Unitarian Laymen’s League — 7 Park Square, Boston, 1924

25. Unitarian Historical Society — Boston, 1925, 1953

26. Harriet Ware Publishers — Boston, 1926–62 (Harriet Ware, 1877-1962)

1930s

27. Lindsey Press — London, 1931, 1947 (named in honor of Rev. Theophilus Lindsey, 1723-1808)

1940s

28. E. W. Scripps Co. — 1946 (Charles E. Scripps, 1920- , board chair)

1950s

29. Nocalor Press — Monroe NC, 1951 (John Raymond Shute, proprietor)

30. Starr King Press — Boston, 1958 (division of American Unitarian Association, named in honor of Rev. Thomas Starr King, 1824-1864)

31. Fuller & Dees — 1958 (Morris Dees, 1936- )

1970s

32. Unitarius Egyhaz — Cluj, Romania, 1973

33. Skinner House — Boston, 1979 to present (reprint arm of Beacon Press, a division of Unitarian Universalist Association, named in honor of Rev. Clarence Russell Skinner, 1881-1949)

END

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34 Universalist Publishers

. . . A list of 34 American Universalists who were publishers and/or printers, including one who was based for some time in London, England. I have listed them in chronological order by the earliest date they were known to have printed or published any work, along with later dates they were known to be in operation, and their own dates of birth and death in parentheses. I have also listed their home city and, if I have it, the address of their company. Some of these individuals were Universalists for only part of their lives, but I have listed their publishing careers as fully as I can. (Next time, Unitarian publishers.)

1790s

1. Thomas Dobson (1751-1823) — Philadelphia, 1792, 1813

2. Rev. Elhanan Winchester (1751-1797) — London, England, 1797

1810s

3. Henry Bowen (?-1874) — Boston, 1818-1840

4. Rev. Abner Kneeland (1774-1844) — Philadelphia, 1819; Boston, 1834-44

1820s

5. Simon Burton — Buffalo NY, 1826

6. Grosh & Walker — Utica NY, 1827; A.B. & C.P.P. Grosh — Utica NY, 1840 (Rev. Aaron Burt Grosh, 1803-1884)

7. I. D. Williamson — Troy NY, 1827 (Rev. Isaac Dowd Williamson, 1807-1876)

8. Marsh & Capen — Boston, 1829; Marsh, Capen & Lyon — Boston, 1831 ("General Depository for Universalist Publications") (Rev. Henry Lyon, 1814-1866)

9. Rev. Russell Streeter (1791-1880) — Portland ME, 1820s

10. Rev. Abel C. Thomas (1807-1880) — NY, 1829; Philadelphia, 1832-35; Lowell MA 1839-45

1830s

11. Rev. Thomas Whittemore (1800-1861) — Boston, 1830-61

12. B. B. Mussey (1804-1857) — Boston, 1831–53; Benjamin B. Mussey — 29 Cornhill, Boston, 1833, Benjamin B. Mussey & Co., Boston, 1845-49

13. Z. Fuller — 86 Callowhill St, Philadelphia, 1832; Fuller & Co. — 106 Chestnut St, Philadelphia, 1854 (Rev. Zelotes Fuller)

14. Horace Greeley (1811-1872) — publisher of 'New-Yorker' 1834-40, 'NY Weekly Tribune' 1840-72

15. and 16. D. D. Smith & A. Tompkins — Boston, 1836; Rev. Abel Tompkins (1810-1862) — Boston, 1836–60; G. W. Bazin & A. Tompkins — Boston, 1839 (George W. Bazin); A. Tompkins — 38 Cornhill, Boston, 1840; A. Tompkins & B. B. Mussey (Benjamin B. Mussey) — Boston, 1841; Tompkins and Co. — Boston, 1863-73

17. Rev. John A. Gurley (1813-1863) — Cincinnati, 1838-54

1840s

18. Hallock & Lyon (Rev. Benjamin B. Hallock, 1804-1869) (Rev. Henry Lyon, 1814-1866) (see above) — NY, 1840-1850; B. B. Hallock, NY, 1851; Henry Lyon — NY, 1852-63

19. Universalist Union Press — 130 Fulton St, NYC, 1840

20. Rev. Erasmus Manford (1815-1884) — Lafayette IN, 1841; St. Louis MO, 1857; Chicago, 1864

21. S. Cobb — Boston, 1848-61 (Rev. Sylvanus Cobb, Sr., 1798-1866)

22. J. M. Usher — Boston, 1848-61; James M. Usher — 37 Cornhill, Boston, 1857 (Rev. James Madison Usher, 1814-1891)

23. A. A. Ballou — Hopedale MA, 1849 (Rev. Adin A. Ballou, 1803-1890)

1850s

24. Longley & Brother — Cincinnati, 1850-54; Longley Brothers — Cincinnati, 1855-58; Longley & Co. — Cincinnati, 1861 (Elias Longley, 1822-1899)

1860s

25. and 26. Nye & Demarest — Cincinnati OH, 1861 (Rev. Gerherdus Langdon Demarest, 1816-1909) (Rev. Holden R. Nye, 1819-?)

27. Universalist Publishing House — Boston, 1862–82, 1888–15, 1922

28. Williamson & Cantwell Publishing Co. — Cincinnati OH, 1865-68 (Rev. Isaac Dowd Williamson, 1807-1876) (see above) (Rev. John S. Cantwell)

1890s

29. Elbert Hubbard (1856-1915) — owner and president, Roycrofters publishing company, East Aurora NY, 1895-1915

1910s

30. Murray Press — Boston, 1915, 1946 (division of Universalist Publishing House, named in honor of Rev. John Murray, 1741-1815)

31. Minnie O. Colgrove — Greenville OH, 1912

1950s

32. Association of Universalist Women — Boston, 1954

33. Universalist Historical Society — Boston, 1957, 1964, 1967

1960s

34. Rev. Kenneth L. Patton (1911-1994) — Charles Street Meeting House, Boston, 1962

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31 Four-Letter Religious Organizations

. . . I figure most of us have heard of the Y.M.C.A., but did you know that there were dozens of other similar organizations founded at about the same time with similar aims and names? For some reason they almost always had four initials. Here are a few:

1) A.B.M.U. = American Baptist Missionary Union

2) A.C.Y.O. = Armenian Church Youth Organization

3) A.F.B.S. = American and Foreign Bible Society

4) A.F.B.S. = American and Foreign Bible Society

5) A.H.M.S. = American Home Missionary Society

6) A.S.S.U. = American Sunday School Union

7) B.B.Y.O. = B'nai B'rith Youth Organization (Jewish)

8) B.F.B.S.= British and Foreign Bible Society

9) B.Y.P.U. = Baptist Young People's Union

10) C. & M.A. = Christian and Missionary Alliance

11) C.E.T.S. = Church of England Temperance Society

12) C.M.A. = Christian and Missionary Alliance

13) C.Y.O. = Catholic Youth Organization

14) H.Y.M.A. = Hebrew Young Men's Association

15) K.L.J.B. = Katholische Langjugend Bewegung (German: Catholic Organization of Young People)

16) L.C.T.U. = Ladies Christian Temperance Union

17) L.W.M.A. = Lutheran Women's Missionary Society

18) L.W.M.L. = Lutheran Women's Missionary League

19) R.H.M.A. = Rural Home Missionary Association

20) W.B.T.S. = Watchtower Bible and Tract Society (Jehovah's Witnesses)

21) W.C.T.U. = Women's Christian Temperance Union

22) W.F.M.S. = Women's Foreign Missionary Society

23) W.H.M.S. = Women's Home Missionary Society

24) W.N.M.A. = Women's National Missionary Association (Universalist)

25) Y.M.C.A. = Young Men's Christian Association

26) Y.M.H.A. = Young Men's Hebrew Association

27) Y.P.C.U. = Young People's Christian Union (Universalist)

28) Y.P.R.U. = Young People's Religious Union (Unitarian)

29) Y.P.S.C.E. = Young People's Society of Christian Endeavor

30) Y.P.W.W. = Young People Willing Workers

31) Y.W.C.A. = Young Women's Christian Association

---0---

Please browse my bookstore http://www.gwenfoss.com/

And visit my reputable colleagues http://www.tomfolio.com/

Find more liberal religious history here http://www25.uua.org/uuhs/duub/

END

104 Ridiculous Condition Grades Invented by Amateur Booksellers

. . . There are standard terms for describing the condition of used books, dust jackets, and other paper ephemera, and then there are these. These are not standard terms. They are just some of the hundreds of ridiculous terms invented by hapless amateurs selling used books on amazon, ebay, and other giant websites. I have collected a countless assortment of these and selected just 104 of the worst. They are grouped below according to what I think they are supposed to mean. My comments are in [brackets].

Correct Term: As New

Incorrect Terms:

1. New++
[You simply cannot qualify "new" with plus signs.]

2. New - Unsold

3. New & Unread

4. Factory New
[Yes, books are manufactured, but we call the place a printer or a bindery, not a factory, thank you very much.]

5. Mint
[Books are not minted. Metal objects, like coins and toy cars, are minted.]

6. Pristine

7. Perfect

8. Can't be in better shape

9. Gift quality

10. Same-as-new

11. Excellent

12. Exceptional

13. Brand Spanking New
[Ooooh, baby!]

14. Flawless

15. Absolutely Georgous

---0---

Correct Term: Fine

Incorrect Terms:

16. Fine++

17. Fine+

18. Fine-
[If it's not Fine, don't say it's Fine. The minus mark is not helping.]

19. Near New

20. About Like New

21. Near As New

22. Near Like New

23. Virtually As New

24. Great-Close to New-Condition
[Please learn the difference between a dash and a hyphen.]

25. Never Used Almost New

26. Very Good Fine

---0---

Correct Term: Near Fine

Incorrect Terms:

27. Near Fine+++

28. Very Near Fine

29. Near Very Fine

30. Close to Fine

31. Almost Fine

32. About Fine

33. Just About Fine

34. Almost Near Fine

35. Nearly Fine

36. Slightly Better than Very Good

---0---

Correct Term: Very Good

Incorrect Terms:

37. Very Good Almost Like New

38. Over All Very Good++++ or Excellent Condition
[Don't even talk to me until you stop using more than one plus sign.]

39. Very Good+++
[See above.]

40. Near Very Good

41. Very good gently enjoyed

42. Very Good condition for being all paper and old

43. Certainly not bad

---0---

Correct Term: Good

Incorrect Terms:

44. Good Solid Copy

45. Good or Better Condition

46. Good+++
[What did I say about using too many plus signs?]

47. Good and Used

48. Perfectly usable

49. Much Better than Good

50. Pretty Good

51. About Good

---0---

Correct Term: Fair

Incorrect Terms:

52. Fair+
["Fair Plus" is Good. If it's not Good, grade it Fair.]

53. Fair-
["Fair Minus" is Poor. End of story.]

54. Fair Copy

55. Fairly Good

56. Old and beat up
[I kind of like this one. It's honest.]

57. Completely Readable

58. Reasonable Condition

59. Not in Bad Shape

60. Survived Well
[Wait a minute. Survived what, exactly?]

61. Very Acceptable

62. Acceptable+

63. Average+
[For Pete's sake, stop adding pluses to words that can't be qualified!]

---0---

Correct Term: Reading Copy

Incorrect Terms:

64. Excellent reading copy
[Oxymoron.]

65. Near Fine reading copy

66. Very Good reading copy

67. Good Solid reading copy

68. Great reading copy

69. Research Copy

70. Reader copy

71. Very loved

72. Used - less than standard

73. Usable

74. An OK Copy

75. Child’s copy

76. Bathtub copy
[One of my favorites. Really gets the point across.]

---0---

Correct Term: Poor

Incorrect Terms:

77. Poor+++
[How many pluses till it gets up to "Fair?"]

78. Poor++

79. Poor+

80. Very Poor

81. Very Poor-
[Hell's, bells, just throw it out.] [I mean recycle it.]

82. Near Poor

83. Extremely Poor

84. Not in the Best of Condition

85. Not That Good

86. Rough

87. Very rough

88. Incomplete

89. Marginal

---0---

Finally, a short list of amusing condition descriptions that make the book sound really great but don’t really indicate its actual condition:

90. Museum Quality

91. Display Quality

92. Hand Picked with Care

93. Never Been Read

94. Read Once Condition

95. Gently Used

96. Ultra Clean

97. Super Clean

98. Whistle Clean
[Seriously, you can say it's clean, but is it sunned, bumped, torn, water damaged, missing pages? Tell me something about the condition of the book!]

99. Clean Usable Book

100. Nice Book

101. Very Nice for its Age
[Unfortunately "for its age" is a very commonly used but completely incorrect qualifier. Old books don't get special dispensation for being old. Grade them the same way you would grade any other used book.]

102. Very Nice Clean Copy

103. Decent+
[A qualifier on "Decent?" ROFL!]

104. Very God
[Might be the cutest typo I've spotted yet.]

---0---

Please browse my bookstore http://www.gwenfoss.com/

And visit my reputable colleagues http://www.tomfolio.com/

Or check out my collection of Authors with Apt Names for their Books http://tomfolio.pbworks.com/AuthorAptronyms

END

---0---

10 Embarrassing College Degrees

. . . I would expect most people are proud to earn a college degree and sport some impressive postnominals. Unless the degree comes with a really embarrassing set of initials, like these:

1. A.S.S. = Associate in Secretarial Science

2. B.A.A.S. = Bachelor of Applied Arts and Sciences

3. B.M. = Baccalaureus Medicinae (Bachelor of Medicine)

4. B.O. = Bachelor of Oratory

5. B.S. = Bachelor of Science

6. M.A.C.E. = Master of Air Conditioning Engineering

7. M.A.G. = Master of Arts in Gerontology

8. M.Dip. = Master in Diplomacy

9. R.H.I.T. = Registered Health Information Technician

10. S.T.D. = Sacrae Theologiae Doctor (Doctor of Sacred Theology)

---0---

Please stop by my bookstore

Visit TomFolio, the cooperative used-book website where the dealers are nice

Find more acronyms here

END

---0---

30 Essential New Words

. . . Terms from the used-book business, terms for stupid customers and bad drivers and other everyday annoyances. Those coined by me are marked bdg.


1. book climbing. scouting for books in a location where the amount of refuse, junk, rubble, discarded personal effects, furniture, etc, must be climbed over to get to the books. Book climbing is always risky but especially so in a place where the people in charge don't want to let you climb. bdg (Other bookdealers call this book crawling, digging, or excavation.)

2. cactet. a really bad band. (cacaphony + quartet.) bdg

3. citiot. urban idiot; a person of city origin who comes to the country on vacation and treats the place like his own personal garbage dump. (coined by Crosshair, a fellow online wordgame player, who said the term is about 25 years old.)

4. combateer. bad driver of any ridiculously large vehicle (SUV, pickup, van); such vehicles not only impart a false sense of security to the driver but they impede the visibility of all other drivers. Term based on the fact that Hummers, which are perhaps the most ridiculously large vehicle of all, were designed for use in combat zones. bdg (Click here to see more New Terms for Bad Drivers )

5. crebbit. opposite of debit. bdg

6. cussism. my uncle Fred's religion. bgd

7. custoner. stupid customer. (customer + stoner) bdg 2009

8. derogen. derogatory racial or ethnic term, such as abo, cracker, wetback. There seem to be a million of these terms yet no one has invented a simple word for them. (pronounced der-OGG-en) bdg 1982

9. dickularian. genteel-sounding epithet (or adjective) for a creep. bdg

10. elbow driver. a species of foffer (see below) who drives with one hand at the top of the wheel and the other hand doing something useless. So called because they often end up trying to steer with their elbow, and because they often have their other elbow hanging out the window where it can do no good. bdg 2008

11. emulationism. trade name or folk term for something that sounds precious but is only a cheap imitation, such as German silver (an alloy like pewter) or Alaska sable (skunk fur). bdg 2008. Click here to read my collection of emulationisms.

12. epeople. people who used the internet a lot.

13. fale (n. and adj.). both male and female.

14. flumlum. 1. nonsense. 2. doodad; thingamabob.

15. foff. 1. to do things while driving that you shouldn't do while driving. 2. to drive without proper hand placement on the steering wheel. bdg

16. foffer. 1. one who drives while trying to do something they shouldn't be doing while they drive, such as: using a cell phone; peeling an orange; putting on mascara. 2. one who drives without good hand placement on the steering wheel, such as: only one hand, at the bottom; only one hand, at the top; both hands at the top. bdg

17. foffle. to lose control of the vehicle because you were foffing. bdg

18. hexpo. witch convention.

19. igluet. 1. a small pile of snow. 2. a small statue made of snow. 3. a small igloo. bdg

20. jellot. a zealot who is really wishy washy. bdg 2007

21. moudness. mysterious quality a person has that scares other people away. bdg Jul 2008

22. munro. name invented and placed on a list or in a reference in order to use as test when trying to track down a copyright violator. bdg

23. plorf. the uncanny ability to see perfectly good words that aren't real words in word games. bdg

24. proctomorph. polite-seeming epithet for an asshole. bdg 1970s

25. roft. the last part of a cold / flu / the crud. One who is suffering in the last part of such a condition is rofting; they are a rofter. bdg 2008

26. sgwipe. carcass of a dead animal run over in the road. bdg 1978 (Note: I coined this word years before I ever heard the now common term "road kill," and besides, English needs a word that begins sgw--.)

27. thip. to set something in motion by curling a finger behind your thumb and then releasing the finger with great speed. (We had this word in my family since I was a small child; I don't know where it came from.)

28. thresto. general term for any object that tends to snag on everything. For example, a long coat can be a thresto ("that book must have been knocked over by a thresto") or eczema can cause threstos ("my finger has a thresto on it again"). The adjective is threstic. bdg 2008

29. ueai. the sinking feeling you get when playing a word game and there are way too many vowels to deal with. (pronounced OO-ee-aye) bdg July 2008

30. ultracrepidarian. a literate moron; one who has books on display in their house, just for looks, and never reads. (coined by Babble Rabble, a fellow online wordgame player, Jan 2009.)

---0---

Visit my website

Find used books and ephemera from reputable independent dealers

Check out my collection of New Words for Bookdealers

END

---0---

How to Kill Mal*Wart

. . . Just a short post today, no word list, so sorry.

If you know me, you have probably heard me ranting about supporting independent businesses; well, I found a website where you can list your favorite indie bizes, and find indie bizes listed by other folks:

http://www.indiebound.org/

I found this website while looking for used books; the website is sponsored by the American Booksellers Association and focuses on independent bookstores, but they have plenty of other categories.

Anyway, I joined last week and have already added my favorite local hardware store:

http://www.indiebound.org/stores/jeans-hardware

the Chinese food store where I buy rice:

http://www.indiebound.org/stores/china-merchandise

the last really good brick-and-mortar bookstore near me:

http://www.indiebound.org/stores/read-it-again-books

and some others.

Now I'm spreading the word and hoping everyone will join up and list more indie bizes. Together we can kill the Mal*Warts of the world and save the economy!

---0---

Find and browse reputable independent used-book stores at www.tomfolio.com

END

---0---

20 New Tongue Twisters

. . . I started collecting tongue twisters in the eighth grade when I was required to learn some for a speech class. This was 1978. Now I have hundreds and my friends and I keep inventing new ones. Here's just a few.


1. Answering machine message.

2. Broad-brimmed black hats.

3. City shellfish.

4. City snowshoes.

5. Fish hatchery.

6. Fish sauce shop.

7. Fresh French fries.

8. Garlic bark.

9. Gig-whip. (Try to say it 7 times.)

10. Horseradish sauce.

11. How long does a fruit fly live?

12. Memorized crash statistics.

13. More ruthless or less ruthless. (Try to say it twice.)

14. People's preferable pickles.

15. She sent a special message by special messenger.

16. Shiny soap suds sailed down the shallow sink.

17. Short Saudi soldiers.

18. Socialist ship.

19. Sockless Crocs. (Try to say it 5 times.)

20. Sweet and sour shrimp.

END

Please visit my bookstore

Check out the cooperatively-owned bookdealers' portal

More fun word lists

---0---

Chronology of Used Book Portals on the Internet

I present below a comprehensive list of the many used-book websites that have come and gone since the early days of the internet. That's right, some of these are gone. In other words, there are some dead websites on this list.

Anyway, this list focuses on portals: websites where many used-book dealers list their books in one big database, and where members of the general public can search for and purchase them.

As one who has been selling books on the internet since 1997, I find myself continuously marvelling at how fast these websites spring up, change, grow or die, and all too often get taken over by major corporations that shut them down or transform them from friendly places into venues that I would not even recommend to someone I don't like.

Each portal is listed in chronological order under the year they were launched, revamped, or closed. Under each year the sites are listed alphabetically.

Please note: The earliest multi-dealer used-book portals listed below were not websites as such, since the used-book business on the world wide web (the commercial part of the internet) did not really take off until about 1994.

Also please note: This is an ongoing collection. A few portals are missing from this list. If I do not have the year in which a portal was launched, revamped, or folded, it is not listed here. Further information will be gratefully accepted and added to this page, so please email me if you have it.

See the bottom for definitions.

---0---

1988

ADI (Antiquarian Databases International, bulletin-board-based service, launched, folded soon after)

---0---

1989

booknet (fax-based service, launched and folded)

bookquest (launched)

---0---

1991

muze (launched, description-generating software)

---0---

1992

bookbytes (bulletin-board-based service, based in US, launched, folded soon after)

---0---

1993

bookquest (bought out and shut down by interloc)

interloc (launched, pre-web dealer-to-dealer service only, based in US) Interloc, from interlocutor (middleman) was the first major successful portal. It is now called Alibris.

---0---

1994

gemm.com (Global E-commerce Mega Marketplace, launched) Gemm began as a charming portal for sellers of used and collectible LPs, CDs, 45s; now it has no charm and sells everything.

---0---

1995

amazon.com (launched)

ebay.com (launched)

virtualbookshop.com (launched, folded by 2002)

---0---

1996

abebooks (Advanced Book Exchange, based in Canada, launched)

antiqbook.com (based in Netherlands, launched)

bibliocity.com (based in Australia, launched)

bibliofind.com (based in US, launched) Bibliofind was the best engineered site. Its all-word search was an invaluable tool for research and selling.

biblioworld.com (launched)

bookmatch.com (launched and folded)

collectorz.com (description-generating software, launched)

interloc.com (launched their first truly web-based service)

maremagnum.com (based in Italy, launched)

virtualbooks.com (launched, folded by 2002)

zvab.com (Zentrales Verzeichnis Antiquarischer Buecher, Central Catalog of Antiquarian Books, based in Germany, launched)

---0---

1997

In 1997, Abebooks and Bibliofind vied for supremacy as the top two used-book portals on the internet; Interloc was a close third.

booklovers.co.uk (based in UK, launched)

buy.com (launched, selling everything including books)

half.com (launched, selling everything including books)

mxbf.com (based in US, first meta-search of used bookstore portals, launched, name soon changed to bookfinder)

---0---

1998

addall.com (launched, meta-search of used bookstore portals)

antikvariat.net (launched, based in Scandinavia)

bookfinder.com (formerly mxbf, revamped with new name)

bn.com (Barnes and Noble website launched, new books only, with a used-book search engine that searched only abe)

exchange.com (launched)

half.com (bought out by ebay, but continued to operate separately)

popula.com (auction portal, similar to ebay but independent and fairly run)

rarebooknet.com (launched, folded by 2002)

usedbooks.com (launched)

x.com (payment transfer service, soon to be revamped as paypal)

---0---

1999

abaa.org (Antiquarian Booksellers' Association of America, website launched)

backissuefinder.com (used periodicals only, launched)

bibliocity.com (bought out and shut down by alibris)

bibliofind.com (bought out by exchange)

bibliophile.net (based in Switzerland, launched)

biblioworld.com (revamped as 21northmain)

bookavenue.com (based in US, launched)

bookgraveyard.com (based in US, launched)

bookopoly.com (launched)

bookradar.com (meta-search of used bookstore portals, launched)

digibib (Digital Bibliophile Community, based in US, launched, folded soon after)

exchange.com (bought out and shut down by amazon)

gbmbooks.com (Global Book Mart, based in US, launched)

iberlibro.com (based in Spain, launched)

justbooks.de (based in Germany, launched)

paypal.com (formerly x, revamped with new name)

21northmain.com (revamped, formerly biblioworld)

---0---

2000

Amazon Marketplace (seller platform for isbn books, launched)

Amazon zShops (seller platform for pre-isbn and antiquarian books, launched)

biblio.com (launched)

bibliofind.com (bought out and shut down by amazon)

biblion.com (launched)

bibliopoly.com (based in UK, launched)

biblioz.com (based in Australia, launched)

ephemeranet.com (based in US, launched)

eurobuch.com (meta-search of used bookstore portals, based in Austria, launched)

half.com (merged into ebay)

ibooknet.co.uk (based in UK, cooperatively owned, launched)

muze.com (now being used by half and ebay to generate product descriptions)

tomfolio.com (based in US, cooperatively owned, launched)

wantedbooks.com (revamped, formerly bookquarters)

---0---

2001

abebooks.com (bought out by justbooks, but kept the name)

bibliology.com (based in UK, launched)

bookradar.com (folded)

booksandcollectibles.com.au (based in Australia, launched)

borders.com (revamped, made into a redirect to amazon)

classicforum.com (formerly clik-books.com, bought out and shut down by alibris)

gbmbooks.com (folded but was revived in 2002)

ioba.org (Independent Online Booksellers Association, booksearch launched, linked to abe)

searchbiblio.com (launched, meta-search of used bookstore portals, now a redirect to biblio)

titlesdirect.com (launched, soon revamped as myownbookshop)

21northmain (folded)

usedbookcentral.com (launched)

---0---

2002

Amazon Seller Central (selling platform launched for large retailers, launched)

bibliodirect.com (announced, possibly never launched)

bookgraveyard.com (revamped as bookquarters)

bookopoly.com (bought out by biblio)

bookquarters.com (formerly bookgraveyard, revamped as wantedbooks)

choosebooks.com (launched)

fetchbook.info (meta-search of used bookstore portals, launched)

gbmbooks.com (revived but folded in 2006)

giaq.de (Genossenschaft der Internet-Antiquariate, Cooperative of Internet Antiquarian Booksellers, based in Germany, launched)

half.com (feedback system merged into ebay feedback system)

interloc.com (bought out and revamped as alibris)

goindaba.com (description-generating software, launched)

librarybooksales.org (portal for nonprofit friends-of-the-library sellers only, launched)

liquidatedirect.com (description-generating software, launched)

monsoonworks.com (description-generating software, launched)

myownbookshop.com (formerly titlesdirect) MyOwnBookshop was launched by an independent bookdealer and had the best search engine hands down. For example, a search for first editions returned only true firsts, and a search excluding book clubs actually excluded book clubs.

paypal.com (bought out by ebay)

Pondview Books (cover name used by alibris to sell on bn) This is only one example of a corporate-owned portal selling through another corporate-owned portal, thus setting up multiple layers between bookseller and bookbuyer. They apparently dropped this name when it became public knowledge.

usedbooks.com (folded)

wantedbooks.com (launched, formerly bookquarters)

Yahoo Warehouse (selling platform, folded)

---0---

2003

abebooks.com (bought out by Hubert Burda Media, based in Germany)

backissuefinder.com (folded)

bookopoly.com (bought out by biblio)

FillZ.com (launched, description-generating software)

iobabooks.com (formerly ioba.org, formerly hosted by abe, now hosted by choosebooks)

previouslypublished.com (meta-search, launched)

worldbookdealers.com (folded)

---0---

2004

bookpursuit.com (based in Netherlands, launched)

booksatpbfa.com (based in UK, launched)

booksku.com (description-generating software, launched)

choosebooks.com (bought out by zvab)

findbookprices.com (meta-search, launched)

half.com (nearly shut down by ebay, then they decided to keep it)

iberlibro.com (bought out by abe)

myownbookshop.com (folded)

myremainders.com (meta-search for remainder sellers only, launched)

worldbookmarket.com (based in Australia, launched)

---0---

2005

abbookmart.com (launched and folded)

bibliology.com (folded)

bookfinder.com (bought out by abe, but kept in operation)

ilab-lila.com (International League of Antiquarian Booksellers / Ligue Internationale de la Librarie Ancienne, portal launched)

iobabooks.com (formerly hosted by choosebooks, now hosted by biblio)

theartofbooks.com (description-generating and order management software, launched)

---0---

2006

FillZ.com (bought out by abe)

Amazon zShops (folded)

bn.com (portal for used-book dealers, launched)

biblion.com (bought out by biblio)

bookavenue.com (folded)

gbmbooks.com (folded)

myremainders.com (folded)

vialibri.net (meta-search of used bookstore portals, launched)

wantedbooks.com (folded)

yahoo.com (selling platform, partnered with ebay)

---0---

2007

booklovers.co.uk (bought out by worldbookmarket)

marelibri.com (meta-search / meta-portal formed by five European portals -- antiqbook, livre-rare-book, maremagnum, prolibri, and uniliber -- each portal is owned by professional, independent, new and antiquarian bookdealers)

Yahoo Auctions (selling platform, folded)

---0---

2008

abebooks.com (bought out by amazon, but kept in operation)

gojaba.com (aimed at buyers in Sweden, Russia, Brazil, Poland, owned by abe, launched)

---0---

2009

marelibri.com (new members joined: antikvariat, booksatpbfa, biblio)

usedbookcentral.com (folded)

---0---

Definitions

portal. A website where many bookdealers list and sell their books. Every entity listed above is a portal unless otherwise stated.

antiquarian. General term for old, rare, high-end used books.

description-generating software. A software product that supplies ready-made data, and sometimes also stock photos, for sellers of books, CDs, DVDs, video games, etc, based on International Standard Book Numbers.

launched. The year in which the entity began operation online.

meta-search. A website that searches several portals at once; the meta-search website itself sells no books.

redirect. A website that does nothing but take you to another website. (Example: searchbiblio.com is just a redirect to biblio.com) Redirects result when a website buys out another website but wants to keep the name to gather in customers.

remainders. General term for new books that have not sold fast enough and have been drastically reduced in price by the publisher or distributor. Some bookstores sell only remainders.

selling platform. A term used by website owners to refer to a system whereby independent dealers can join the website and sell through it. Some websites have more than one selling platform; for example, ebay has auctions and stores.

---0---

Visit my bookstore www.gwenfoss.com

Check out the cooperatively-owned bookdealers' portal www.tomfolio.com

Marvel at the largest glossary of used-book terminology on the web http://tomfolio.pbworks.com/glossary

---0---

The Demming List

. . . 22 aliases used by the notorious internet scammer Margaret Demming, 191 27th Ave, Brooklyn NY 11214, between 2002 to 2006.

Her ploy was simple. She would contact a used bookdealer, be very friendly and chatty, tell the bookdealer all about herself and her many children, order a few inexpensive books and send cash in the mail. Soon she would contact the same bookdealer again, order a few more inexpensive books and again send cash. Then she would place a large order, sometimes for as many as 20 or 30 books, but never send payment. Often she would still get the books because of a longstanding tradition among used bookdealers of sending the books immediately, rather than waiting for the money to arrive, if the customer is known to the dealer.

Online bookdealers began privately sharing this scammer's address and her multiple false names some time prior to January 2005. An intrepid bookdealer reported her to the Brooklyn District Attorney's Office in early 2005 but, as far as I know, no action was taken to prosecute her. In April 2006 she was banned from ordering through Abebooks, and the security division of Abe even sent out a general alert about her. I have not heard about her trying to scam any used bookstores since July 2006.

So, without further ado, the 22 fake names (plus fake emails and fake charities) she invented to scam innocent used bookdealers, as seen by me or reported by other bookdealers:

1. Margaret Demming or Deming

2. brooklynkid7@juno.com, brooklynkid14@juno.com

3. Margrette Delning

4. astroaquarious7@hotmail.com

5. ConeyIslandRules@netscape.net

6. Mellfantler FM, Library and Tutoring Advisor, Avis Teaching, propergander714@yahoo.com

7. E. Douing, Assistant of Department for Elder Care, WindWood Hospice Home for Elder Care

8. E. Douing, Library Assistant

9. Margaret Melander or M.F. Melander, Director, Brooklyn Study Center, silenceofmind7@yahoo.com

10. Sister Margretta Dewing, Hospice Home Care for the Aged

11. Miranda Mecklander, Fairpoint Rehabilation Care Center, Brooklyn, dewung77@yahoo.com (note the misspelling of Rehabilitation)

12. Miranda Mergrander, Mercy Cares Charity of Brooklyn

13. Michael Cervisio, Veteran's Advisor, Harway Veterans Group

14. Dewung

15. Donning

16. Meadlaner

17. Meadlender

18. Mejarnder

19. Melrandra

20. Melwandler

21. Merklender

22. Nermandler

END

My bookstore http://www.gwenfoss.com/

My colleagues http://www.tomfolio.com/

My collection of Dumb Questions Too Often Asked in Used Book Stores http://tomfolio.pbworks.com/Dumb-Questions

---0---

Barack Obama Giant Emoticon

. . . it came to me last year forwarded in an email.


+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
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+++++#+@++++++++++######++++##+++++++
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++##############++++++++++###########
+###############++++++++++###########
+###############++++ +++++###########
+###############++++++#++############
+################+++++#++############

END

Please visit my bookstore http://www.gwenfoss.com/

Used books and ephemera from reputable independent dealers http://www.tomfolio.com/

More fun word lists http://tinyurl.com/ylhzarz

---0---

23 Old and New Funeral Terms: Funeral Director Jargon from 1958

. . . The following list was published in 1958 in Excerpts from a Mortician's Workshop, by Samuel Henry Pierce, Sr., Dean of the Atlanta College of Mortuary Science and a pioneer in the professionalization of funeral home directors and staff.

Excerpts from a Mortician's Workshop

As a word lover, I could go into a long analysis of each term, or pontificate on targeted marketing, babble about the joy of euphemisms, or grouse about the theory of political correctness, or lay out some other psychological nonsense about this list. But I won't. Suffice to say that I am interested in all kinds of jargon — the technical terms of a specialty or industry — and, furthermore, having grown up in a household where Mom was the contact person for the Greater Detroit Memorial Society (*) for anyone with a death in the family, I absorbed quite a bit of this funeral business jargon without ever trying.

So, without further ado, the list:

Old Term . . . New Term

1. autopsy . . . post

2. body . . . remains, deceased

3. body call . . . first call

4. body car . . . service car

5. bury . . . inter

6. coffin . . . casket

7. corpse . . . remains, deceased

8. death call . . . first call

9. death certificate . . . vital statistics form

10. death notice . . . mortuary notice

11. died . . . expired

12. dig the grave . . . open the grave

13. flower truck . . . flower car

14. hearse . . . funeral coach

15. job . . . call

16. layout room . . . slumber room

17. makeup . . . cosmetics

18. morgue . . . preparation room

19. shipping box . . . outer case

20. show room . . . display room

21. shroud . . . garment

22. undertaker . . . mortician

[Mom would point out that this last word has long since been upgraded to the much nicer euphemism 23. funeral director.]

(*) The Greater Detroit Memorial Society was founded in 1960 to help consumers plan in advance for the death of a loved one, to educate the general public about the funeral industry, and to protect consumers from being taken advantage of in their time of bereavement; it is a nonprofit watchdog group, not a funeral business. Mom was a founding member and was the primary contact person for about 30 years.

END

My bookstore http://www.gwenfoss.com/

My colleagues http://www.tomfolio.com/

My collection of Dumb Questions Too Often Asked in Used Book Stores http://tomfolio.pbworks.com/Dumb-Questions

---0---

16 Fun Tips for Spotting Spams, Scams, and Malicious Emails

. . . collected from actual spam. Real examples shown.

1. The email is from a major company or website, but, where your name should be, there is only a generic greeting.

Dear PayPal Customer;

Dear Bank of America Patron ,

ATTN: Sir /Madam

2. The email says you have won the lottery or some big cash award.

CONGRATULATIONS!!!

CLAIM YOUR AWARD!!!!!

INTERNATIONAL LOTTERY PROMOTION

NEW YEAR AWARD NOTIFICATION RESULT !!!

3. The message is from someone you have never heard of who has a huge pile of wealth and wants you to share it.

I am Mr.FRANK BELLE GEZI,The first son of Mr.JOHN MICHEAL GEZI, the director or the ANGOLAN diamond mine,and a wealthy business man who was recently murdered in the land mine dispute in ANGOLA which i have no doubt you may be aware if you listen to either BBC or CNN.

I know this will come to you as a surprise but never mind, I got your Contact in my search for a reputable and trust worthy person/Company,Who can stand confidently with me in this successful business Arrangement.

We are group of company and I am Mr. James Herrington an American one of the boards of director in this company in London and we also want you to take our reparable modality of this opportunity I will also send you my international driven lances or my international passport.

4. The subject line or message is complete gibberish; that is, it is not in English words or even Latin characters.

¡‚©‚ç–¾“ú‚Ì’©‚܂ňꏏ‚ɉ߂²‚µ‚Ä‚­‚ê‚Ü‚¹‚ñ‚©H

ŽÊ^‚ð‘—‚è‚Ü‚·‚Ì‚ÅŒ©‚Ä‚­‚¾‚³‚¢B

[6]: áîëüøîé âûáîð êðåñåë äëÿ ðóêîâîäèòåëÿ

$B4uK$N6b3[$rA43[@h$KEO$7$^$9$N$G2q$C$FD:$1$J$$$G$7$g$&$+!)(B

5. The message greets you as if you are a close, special friend even though you have never had any contact with the sender.

Dear Beloved,

6. The email is from someone in Nigeria and you don't know anyone in Nigeria. Note: Lagos is in Nigeria. Note: Surulere is in Nigeria.

7. The email name is an unpronounceable string of letters.

nqzbynzeg@bezeqint.net

efkqdwahd@blauer.com

smyzhb@mail.com

6. The email subject is about your loan application or mortgage or credit card or hot investment but you have not applied for a loan or inquired about investing.

Loan request approved

Loan for a low month payment

Aggressive Investors Alert

Payment Correspondences

URGENT BUSINESS PROPOSAL

7. The email subject just says Hi or Hello or Re: or Re:[2] or some other bracketed number.

8. The email subject sounds like a news headline but is not related to any news you are interested in.

Musicians play tribute to Don Henley

The hash function you're most likely to use routinely is SHA-1.

It's also kid-friendly, with a marionette museum.

9. The subject line says your gift card is ready or that you have won a gift card or valuable product.

PLEASE CONFIRM: Victoria Secret $500 Gift ID#33-FA212ZP

Second Attempt: Macy's Gift Card Inside

Dell Computer Giveaway - Absolutely No Charges

WINNER! Home Depot Gift Card ID#YY-234-1A

jetBlue Airways Ticket! - Confirmation #343-7331

Congratutlations on your JCPenney Gift Card Offer

Your CIRCUIT CITY Card valid Thru Feb 15th -- Act NOW! -- ID# CCJXB93ST

Second Attempt: WAL*MART (R) 500 Dollar Gift Card Inside

7. The subject line is a string of words that makes no sense.

mass production admonish

it vague

Don't read it.

it cyclist an mingle

his dissension be norwegian

8. The subject line says Re: followed by something you have never heard of before.

Re: RyixX

Re: dynamicvar divT

Re: recipient Postinis

10. The message has bizarre, incorrect English usage, punctuation, or syntax.

I am gonna be waiting your answer I hope that you can help me in this moment that I need it.

Hello Dear ,

Mrs.Jenny Brooks

Have a nice day, be bless.

I look forward to read back from you.

12. The link in the email doesn't match the subject of the email, or is not a legitimate business, or does not exist.

http://pizzasarhey.com/

http://www.autoroad2000.com/

13. The message promises to get you top placement on search engines.

Boost Your Website To The Top

Free Website Analysis and Ranking Report of Your Website!

14. The phrase "I will like to" appears anywhere in the message.

Before I proceed, I will like to introduce my humble self To you.

I will like to know if you ship to Australia and my method of payment will be credit card???

15. The message is from someone who claims to be doing God's work.

Mark from Guiding Light Ministries

ST. PETER CHRISTIAN BIBLE CHURCH

St.Andrew Mission,Portland Oreegon

pray4missingkids

He said to them, "But who do you say I am?" Simon Peter answered and said, "Your are the Christ, the Son of the living God." Matt 16:15, 16

I decided to WILL/donate the sum of $2,500,000 (two million five hundred thousand dollars) to you for the good work of the lord, and also to help the motherless and less privilege and also for the assistance of the widows.

16. The message contains a paragraph filled with complete nonsense that sounds like computer-generated "poetry."

should have a name that is derivative. For instance, the name given to It is not possible to know forthwith whose head or hand is meant. Thus it is in the case of those opposites only, which are opposite in the bald does not regain his hair; the man who has lost his teeth does not

Offtopic, found forum discuss topic duilsuamo. Gtedom giftltagt gteasyjet gteating rightltagt gtednita halfltagt. Longest disorder brandy brochure withit affect graphic! Half ceilingurl alana frillfree, inaudible. Niki scary skinner, acceptable nikita weighted, dial, enhance! Areola glorious whittaker leeward worth impediment. Reallity breath realy recess, recits valour. March digital signature back pdf? Two, conformity glaze blonde sado sudden maso.

The idea being that languages were perfect at Babel and degraded thereafter. " What sadist came up with the "sports" included in the game?The emphasis on the genetic component of human language is often misunderstood to mean that languages are inherited within the brain.My best wishes for Caleb. Obsessed with design?" and accusing him of "wiggling around" hisorder.How we treat them after that is when we engineer them.

END

Visit my bookstore http://www.gwenfoss.com/

Visit my colleagues' bookstores http://www.tomfolio.com/

Visit my page on the evils of mega-listers http://tomfolio.pbworks.com/Mega-Listers

---0---

40 Snotty Names for Annoying Customers in Used Bookstores

. . . and a few other terms thrown in for fun. Some of these terms have been around for years and are of uncertain origin, some came from other dealers, and some I invented just to vent. (Mine are marked bdg). Many thanks to bookdealer Joyce Godsey and others who contributed their terms. All characters are fictitious and no similarity to real people should be assumed.


1. Agent 99. person who comes into the shop and receives cell phone calls with louder-than-hell ringtones and who proceeds to gab on in loud tones as if we all want to hear their inane conversation. I then take off my shoe and blather into it to amuse myself until they make like a tree and leaf. (Term is based on a character codename on the old spy sitcom "Get Smart," where the shoe-phone was a running gag.) coined by Rachel at Old Saratoga Books dot com.

2. anti-handling-buyer. buyer, usually encountered on eBay, who thinks that sellers should only charge the actual cost of shipping, regardless of seller's handling costs. They like to justify it by saying, "Well, other eBay sellers ship books for $xyz." coined by anonymous dealer.

3. baron / baroness. a customer who requires extensive waiting on and the answering of multiple questions asked in imperial fashion. Stops short of asking for a complimentary ass-wipe in the restroom. No resultant sales, of course. coined by Rachel at Old Saratoga Books.

4. bone-to-pick twit. someone who emails you because she/he has beef with the author or the book's contents. Example: "How can you be selling a book on xyz?!" coined by anonymous dealer.

5. cheapskate. someone who asks something like, "Why the hell are you asking over $200 for a used book?!?" because they are completely ignorant of the book's scarcity, value, condition, or other important factors. coined by anonymous dealer.

6. crazy glue. a borderline insane customer who "sticks to you like glue." Term from my tech guy R.F. Johnson who has often encountered such types. Compare Mr. Sincere.

7. credit card neurosis. condition of customer who is afraid to give you cc info over the net; usually they telephone instead. There are many different manifestations of this condition. bdg

8. customs scammer. overseas customer who asks you to mark the item as a "gift" so they won't have to pay fees or import duties on it. (Falsifying a customs form is against the law.) bdg

9. demming. sending an email reminder to a customer who keeps promising to send a check but never does. See also spaz. (Term comes from the fake surname of a notorious scammer in Brooklyn who used numerous false names and pretended to be buying books for a hospice, nursing home, or charity, who always promised to send a check or money order immediately, but never did. Sometimes a dealer would believe her and send the books before the payment arrived.) bdg

10. ditz. customer who uses the query button and thinks they have completed an order for the book.

11. doofus. customer who emails to ask a question about a specific book, and in doing so, copies your description in their email, and right there in the description is the answer to their question. Example: "You mention a few inconsequential dings to covers, how bad are they?" (They're inconsequential, doofus!)

12. dung beetle. someone who only looks at the crappiest, cheapest books on the bargain table and spends their dollar (paid in small coins, of course). Then they roll the crap out of the store to their lair. Dung beetles almost exclusively come from the upper income insect species. coined by Rachel at Old Saratoga Books.

13. entitled buyer. someone, usually found on eBay, who emails about shipping/handling before committing to buy because for some reason they think they're entitled to a discount or a break on s/h fees. coined by anonymous dealer.

14. eyeball killer. another name for a screamer: someone who types everything in ALL CAPS. (Can't remember where I heard this term but it has been around awhile.)

15. flake. customer who inquires about priority mail but delays payment for several days, thus negating any time saved by ordering priority mail.

16. fly-by. customer who emails to ask a question about a book in your inventory but after you reply you never hear from them again. coined by bookdealer Lee Kirk. Another term for this type of customer, which I heard from a guy in the furniture business, is a be-back, because they say they'll be back but they never come back.

17. fraudite. a species of scammer, mostly seen on eBay, who claims to have some ridiculously valuable or impossible treasure for sale, such as a copy of Huckleberry Finn printed in 1978 and signed by Mark Twain. bdg

18. gomer. a scammer who purposefully gives you the wrong country name in his address, hoping you won't notice. For example, Beijing, Greece (Beijing is in China), or Surulere, Finland (Surulere is in Nigeria). Term comes from medical slang for an especially difficult elderly patient with mental problems, filthy habits, and an inability to communicate.

19. gusher. customer who announces on entering the bookstore that she just loves, loves, loves books, and on, on, and on, but does not purchase anything. Also called a sh*tkicker. coined by anonymous dealer.

20. halfwit. epithet for Half.com and the people who sell there. A longstanding slur.

21. homeward. descriptive of customer, item, and transaction, when the item is purchased by someone who is the author's son, the publisher's daughter, the illustrator's grand-niece, or any similar relationship. So called because the item is "going home." (This is a sweet term, not an insult; bookdealers are usually pretty cheerful when they get a homeward order.) bdg

22. ignoramiana. general term for books pushing ignorant ideas such as crop circles, pyramid power, or UFOs. coined by bookdealer Gary L. Wallin.

23. jerk. customer who orders Media Mail then complains about the long delivery time. There are many names for this species, most of them far more colorful. See also wheresmybook.

24. lowball scammer. customer who sees your eBay auction for an item worth, for example, $200, and offers you $80 for it if you'll end the auction right now. (This is against eBay rules.) Lowball scammers are sometimes also snipers. bdg

25. merrick. customer who writes glowing feedback about you but then rates you less than 5 out of 5. (Refers only to Amazon customers: the Amazon feedback system has both a number function and a comment line.) Named after a customer who did just what the definition says. bdg

26. Mr. Sincere. an individual who comes into your store too often, makes a point of taking your hand and acting like you were his bestest friend, all the while the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. Of course he never actually buys anything. coined by bookdealer Joyce Godsey. Compare crazy glue.

27. mushpup. someone with a bratty toddler in tow who abandons them in the kid's section of your store, where they promptly tornado through the shelves while the adult goes off into the ether. Usually also spends nothing or less than $1. coined by Rachel at Old Saratoga Books.

28. paypal scammer. customer who insists on paying via PayPal, even though you don't list that as an option, but you agree to it and ship the book, then the customer puts in a non-delivery claim with PayPal two weeks later. (PayPal routinely honors these customer claims even when the dealer provides proof of delivery.) See also naidoo. bdg

29. naidoo. customer who pays directly with a credit card but, like a paypal scammer, disputes the charge soon after. In nearly every case, a credit card company will reimburse the customer and debit the merchant, so the naidoo walks away with a free book. (Pronounced NY-doo. Named for someone who pulled this trick on innocent bookdealers.) bdg

30. pub-twit. customer who thinks you have a warehouse full of identical new copies of the book they want. So named because these twits address you as if they think you're the actual publisher. bdg

31. scanner scammer. customer who pretends to be a prospective buyer, asks you for a scan of your book, then uses the image to try to sell your book on eBay. (Thankfully eBay boots fraudsters who are caught pulling this kind of theft.) bdg

32. screamer. customer who types everything in ALL CAPS. This is considered to be screaming and is an internet no-no. Also called an eyeball killer.

33. sharecropper. term used pointedly by one bookdealer to describe himself and other bookdealers who sell through the large portals, on the grounds that, as their vendors, we store all their inventory and pay them to do so.

34. sh*tkicker. a person who comes into your shop and admires the shop profusely and thanks you for "being here" and then does not spend a dime on anything. Also called a gusher. coined by Rachel at Old Saratoga Books.

35. sniffer. one who is overly concerned about a book's smell before they buy it. coined by bookdealer Joyce Godsey.

36. sniper. customer who wants your eBay auction but bids nothing until the last 10 seconds of the auction, then bids just one $1 (or one bidding increment) above the current bid. This is an old term. Sniping is within eBay rules but is seen by many eBayers as extremely unfair behavior.

37. spaz. customer who promises to send a check, and continues to promise to do so after every polite reminder you email, but you never actually get the check. See demming.

38. sobber. type of scammer who claims to be dirt poor and can only pay, for example, $10 for your $70 book. bdg

39. swag method. a pricing method used when a bookdealer can find no history or other helpful information on the item in hand. An old term based on the acr