92 Silly eBay Handles
. . . Truly, the task of choosing an online name presents some computer users with too many possibilities. These names have been collected over many years of eBay surfing. This list is not an endorsement of eBay or of anyone on eBay. I just think they're funny names.
Can't Think of a Name
1. blankplastickeyrings
2. computer*says*no
3. donotchangeuserid
4. fed_up_with_chosing_an_id
5. i_have_a_really_long_nickname
6. knotminame
7. namewithoutnumbers
8. needtoner
9. no-one-in-particular
10. notacleverusername
11. soundslikethis
12. userkeptprivate
13. usethisnameplease
Horrid Puns
14. brideofgoopenstein
15. gnomeplacelikehome
16. oddsandendtiques
17. perryphernalia
18. refried.jeans
19. robs-your-uncle
20. ultimatoauctions
21. youth_in_asia
Addicted to Shopping
22. allthetimeonline
23. deepinhock
24. dontoverbiditsmine
25. ebaayismylife
26. emptyshoppingbag
27. fatauctionfreaks
28. gonnagobroke
29. idontneedsthis
30. iwantcandy2
31. iwantyouretrash
32. missjunkaholic
33. shopaholic-mom
34. sir_snipes_alot
35. spoiling_my_children
36. theguywhopaystoomuchjusttowin
37. 30pairsofflipflopsandcounting
Silly Rhymes
38. blingblingkingd
39. cleanbeanqueen
40. funky-retro-monkey
41. mamamiaitsmaria
42. mr_spoon_on_the_moon
43. mydelectable-collectables
44. oohaahpinkguitar
45. slurpeeherpee
46. wizardofgizzard
I Love My Pet
47. frodothecyberdog
48. fussygerbil
49. ineedadog
50. muffythebarkingdog
51. thingsthatsqueak
52. 3blueyeddashounds
Cheeky Devil
53. dead.peoples.stuff
54. givemechocolate
55. hellcatlouise
56. im_going_to_live_forever
57. not2old2boogie
58. queenofmostthings
59. ratherbeonthelake!
60. shutupdonnie
61. someonesmellsfunky
62. thebutlerdidit!
63. wopbopaloobopalopbamboom
My Stuff is the Best
64. auctions-under-two-dollars
65. buy-it-now-it-bargain-time!
66. got2bid2buy
67. oooh!babyiamworthit!
Doctor Who and Monty Python Fans
68. artur2sheds
69. boxtardis
70. dalek10
71. davros61
72. doctor221
73. the-black-knigget
74. whopunk
Buyer is Insane
75. brain.e.ak
76. braineatingmaniac
77. cross-out-the-eyes
78. das_monster_unter_deinem_bett (German: the monster under your bed)
79. freakshowof1
80. geniessss
81. jackseviltwin-edtheripper
82. kwaazycat
83. madwhacker
84. mistress_murder
85. newratik_of_the_banana_republic
86. psycho666insane
87. thedonnerparty
Amusing Seller Names on Amazon
88. burnt_biscuit_books
89. myfavoriatebook
90. qualitybooks_fastshipping_satisfactiongurantee
91. student_who_doesnt_want_these_books_anymore
92. weresorrybutanothercustomerisalreadyusingyournickname
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Come on down to TomFolio and escape the rat's nest
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Showing posts with label ebay. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ebay. Show all posts
07 May 2010
23 October 2009
104 Ridiculous Condition Grades Invented by Amateur Booksellers
. . . There are standard terms for describing the condition of used books, dust jackets, and other paper ephemera, and then there are these. These are not standard terms. They are just some of the hundreds of ridiculous terms invented by hapless amateurs selling used books on amazon, ebay, and other giant websites. I have collected a countless assortment of these and selected just 104 of the worst. They are grouped below according to what I think they are supposed to mean. My comments are in [brackets].
Correct Term: As New
Incorrect Terms:
1. New++
[You simply cannot qualify "new" with plus signs.]
2. New - Unsold
3. New & Unread
4. Factory New
[Yes, books are manufactured, but we call the place a printer or a bindery, not a factory, thank you very much.]
5. Mint
[Books are not minted. Metal objects, like coins and toy cars, are minted.]
6. Pristine
7. Perfect
8. Can't be in better shape
9. Gift quality
10. Same-as-new
11. Excellent
12. Exceptional
13. Brand Spanking New
[Ooooh, baby!]
14. Flawless
15. Absolutely Georgous
---0---
Correct Term: Fine
Incorrect Terms:
16. Fine++
17. Fine+
18. Fine-
[If it's not Fine, don't say it's Fine. The minus mark is not helping.]
19. Near New
20. About Like New
21. Near As New
22. Near Like New
23. Virtually As New
24. Great-Close to New-Condition
[Please learn the difference between a dash and a hyphen.]
25. Never Used Almost New
26. Very Good Fine
---0---
Correct Term: Near Fine
Incorrect Terms:
27. Near Fine+++
28. Very Near Fine
29. Near Very Fine
30. Close to Fine
31. Almost Fine
32. About Fine
33. Just About Fine
34. Almost Near Fine
35. Nearly Fine
36. Slightly Better than Very Good
---0---
Correct Term: Very Good
Incorrect Terms:
37. Very Good Almost Like New
38. Over All Very Good++++ or Excellent Condition
[Don't even talk to me until you stop using more than one plus sign.]
39. Very Good+++
[See above.]
40. Near Very Good
41. Very good gently enjoyed
42. Very Good condition for being all paper and old
43. Certainly not bad
---0---
Correct Term: Good
Incorrect Terms:
44. Good Solid Copy
45. Good or Better Condition
46. Good+++
[What did I say about using too many plus signs?]
47. Good and Used
48. Perfectly usable
49. Much Better than Good
50. Pretty Good
51. About Good
---0---
Correct Term: Fair
Incorrect Terms:
52. Fair+
["Fair Plus" is Good. If it's not Good, grade it Fair.]
53. Fair-
["Fair Minus" is Poor. End of story.]
54. Fair Copy
55. Fairly Good
56. Old and beat up
[I kind of like this one. It's honest.]
57. Completely Readable
58. Reasonable Condition
59. Not in Bad Shape
60. Survived Well
[Wait a minute. Survived what, exactly?]
61. Very Acceptable
62. Acceptable+
63. Average+
[For Pete's sake, stop adding pluses to words that can't be qualified!]
---0---
Correct Term: Reading Copy
Incorrect Terms:
64. Excellent reading copy
[Oxymoron.]
65. Near Fine reading copy
66. Very Good reading copy
67. Good Solid reading copy
68. Great reading copy
69. Research Copy
70. Reader copy
71. Very loved
72. Used - less than standard
73. Usable
74. An OK Copy
75. Child’s copy
76. Bathtub copy
[One of my favorites. Really gets the point across.]
---0---
Correct Term: Poor
Incorrect Terms:
77. Poor+++
[How many pluses till it gets up to "Fair?"]
78. Poor++
79. Poor+
80. Very Poor
81. Very Poor-
[Hell's, bells, just throw it out.] [I mean recycle it.]
82. Near Poor
83. Extremely Poor
84. Not in the Best of Condition
85. Not That Good
86. Rough
87. Very rough
88. Incomplete
89. Marginal
---0---
Finally, a short list of amusing condition descriptions that make the book sound really great but don’t really indicate its actual condition:
90. Museum Quality
91. Display Quality
92. Hand Picked with Care
93. Never Been Read
94. Read Once Condition
95. Gently Used
96. Ultra Clean
97. Super Clean
98. Whistle Clean
[Seriously, you can say it's clean, but is it sunned, bumped, torn, water damaged, missing pages? Tell me something about the condition of the book!]
99. Clean Usable Book
100. Nice Book
101. Very Nice for its Age
[Unfortunately "for its age" is a very commonly used but completely incorrect qualifier. Old books don't get special dispensation for being old. Grade them the same way you would grade any other used book.]
102. Very Nice Clean Copy
103. Decent+
[A qualifier on "Decent?" ROFL!]
104. Very God
[Might be the cutest typo I've spotted yet.]
---0---
Please browse my bookstore http://www.gwenfoss.com/
And visit my reputable colleagues http://www.tomfolio.com/
Or check out my collection of Authors with Apt Names for their Books http://tomfolio.pbworks.com/AuthorAptronyms
END
---0---
. . . There are standard terms for describing the condition of used books, dust jackets, and other paper ephemera, and then there are these. These are not standard terms. They are just some of the hundreds of ridiculous terms invented by hapless amateurs selling used books on amazon, ebay, and other giant websites. I have collected a countless assortment of these and selected just 104 of the worst. They are grouped below according to what I think they are supposed to mean. My comments are in [brackets].
Correct Term: As New
Incorrect Terms:
1. New++
[You simply cannot qualify "new" with plus signs.]
2. New - Unsold
3. New & Unread
4. Factory New
[Yes, books are manufactured, but we call the place a printer or a bindery, not a factory, thank you very much.]
5. Mint
[Books are not minted. Metal objects, like coins and toy cars, are minted.]
6. Pristine
7. Perfect
8. Can't be in better shape
9. Gift quality
10. Same-as-new
11. Excellent
12. Exceptional
13. Brand Spanking New
[Ooooh, baby!]
14. Flawless
15. Absolutely Georgous
---0---
Correct Term: Fine
Incorrect Terms:
16. Fine++
17. Fine+
18. Fine-
[If it's not Fine, don't say it's Fine. The minus mark is not helping.]
19. Near New
20. About Like New
21. Near As New
22. Near Like New
23. Virtually As New
24. Great-Close to New-Condition
[Please learn the difference between a dash and a hyphen.]
25. Never Used Almost New
26. Very Good Fine
---0---
Correct Term: Near Fine
Incorrect Terms:
27. Near Fine+++
28. Very Near Fine
29. Near Very Fine
30. Close to Fine
31. Almost Fine
32. About Fine
33. Just About Fine
34. Almost Near Fine
35. Nearly Fine
36. Slightly Better than Very Good
---0---
Correct Term: Very Good
Incorrect Terms:
37. Very Good Almost Like New
38. Over All Very Good++++ or Excellent Condition
[Don't even talk to me until you stop using more than one plus sign.]
39. Very Good+++
[See above.]
40. Near Very Good
41. Very good gently enjoyed
42. Very Good condition for being all paper and old
43. Certainly not bad
---0---
Correct Term: Good
Incorrect Terms:
44. Good Solid Copy
45. Good or Better Condition
46. Good+++
[What did I say about using too many plus signs?]
47. Good and Used
48. Perfectly usable
49. Much Better than Good
50. Pretty Good
51. About Good
---0---
Correct Term: Fair
Incorrect Terms:
52. Fair+
["Fair Plus" is Good. If it's not Good, grade it Fair.]
53. Fair-
["Fair Minus" is Poor. End of story.]
54. Fair Copy
55. Fairly Good
56. Old and beat up
[I kind of like this one. It's honest.]
57. Completely Readable
58. Reasonable Condition
59. Not in Bad Shape
60. Survived Well
[Wait a minute. Survived what, exactly?]
61. Very Acceptable
62. Acceptable+
63. Average+
[For Pete's sake, stop adding pluses to words that can't be qualified!]
---0---
Correct Term: Reading Copy
Incorrect Terms:
64. Excellent reading copy
[Oxymoron.]
65. Near Fine reading copy
66. Very Good reading copy
67. Good Solid reading copy
68. Great reading copy
69. Research Copy
70. Reader copy
71. Very loved
72. Used - less than standard
73. Usable
74. An OK Copy
75. Child’s copy
76. Bathtub copy
[One of my favorites. Really gets the point across.]
---0---
Correct Term: Poor
Incorrect Terms:
77. Poor+++
[How many pluses till it gets up to "Fair?"]
78. Poor++
79. Poor+
80. Very Poor
81. Very Poor-
[Hell's, bells, just throw it out.] [I mean recycle it.]
82. Near Poor
83. Extremely Poor
84. Not in the Best of Condition
85. Not That Good
86. Rough
87. Very rough
88. Incomplete
89. Marginal
---0---
Finally, a short list of amusing condition descriptions that make the book sound really great but don’t really indicate its actual condition:
90. Museum Quality
91. Display Quality
92. Hand Picked with Care
93. Never Been Read
94. Read Once Condition
95. Gently Used
96. Ultra Clean
97. Super Clean
98. Whistle Clean
[Seriously, you can say it's clean, but is it sunned, bumped, torn, water damaged, missing pages? Tell me something about the condition of the book!]
99. Clean Usable Book
100. Nice Book
101. Very Nice for its Age
[Unfortunately "for its age" is a very commonly used but completely incorrect qualifier. Old books don't get special dispensation for being old. Grade them the same way you would grade any other used book.]
102. Very Nice Clean Copy
103. Decent+
[A qualifier on "Decent?" ROFL!]
104. Very God
[Might be the cutest typo I've spotted yet.]
---0---
Please browse my bookstore http://www.gwenfoss.com/
And visit my reputable colleagues http://www.tomfolio.com/
Or check out my collection of Authors with Apt Names for their Books http://tomfolio.pbworks.com/AuthorAptronyms
END
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