38 Silly Nicknames for Major Hospitals

. . . I collected these terms in 1990 from an individual who worked as an IT expert for a company that provided computer software and support to major hospitals. (Some of these hospitals might not even exist anymore, and some of them may have changed their names, I don't know.) These terms were used only by the computer geeks at the software company and were never used in front of hospital personnel. A few of these terms are not all that silly, but some are quite derogatory, so before revealing any of them my informant insisted on anonymity. All the usual disclaimers apply.

Arizona
1. Flagstaff : Flagstaff Medical Center = Falstaff
2. Scottsdale : Scottsdale Memorial Hospital = Scuzzdale ("scuzzy" = dirty)

California
3. Berkeley : Alta Bates Hospital = Altered States
4. Chula Vista : Chula Vista Community Hospital = Chewy Gristle

Connecticut
5. Portland : Elmcrest Psychiatric Hospital = Phlegm Crest

Florida
6. Jacksonville : First Coast Medical Center = First Boast (or) Last Coast

Illinois
7. Oak Lawn : Christ Hospital = Cheese and Rice

Iowa
8. Fort Madison : Fort Madison Community Hospital = Fort Mad

Louisiana
9. New Orlean : Touro Infirmary = Toro (Spanish for bull; bull = nonsense)

Maine
10. Calais : Calais Regional Hospital = Callous

Maryland
11. Rockville : Psychiatric Institution of Montgomery County ("PIMC") = Pimick

Massachusetts
12. Falmouth : Falmouth Hospital = Foul Mouth
13. Pittsfield : Hillcrest Hospital = Smellcrest

Michigan
14. Alma : Gratiot Community Hospital (pronounced "GRASH-it") = Gray Shit
15. Flint : Hurley Medical Center = Hurling
16. Garden City : Garden City Osteopathic Hospital = Garbage City
17. Grand Rapids : Ferguson Hospital = Fergie
18. Lapeer : Lapeer Regional Hospital = Leper
19. Wyandot : Wyandot General Hospital = Whining Dot

Minnesota
20. Willmar : Rice Memorial Hospital = Rice-a-Roni
21. Austin : St. Olaf Hospital = Saint Loaf (or) Saint Oh Laugh

Missouri
22. Columbia : Ellis Fischel Cancer Center = Ellis Fiscal ("because they're cheap")
23. Kansas City : Research Medical Center = Research Dead
24. Smithville : Spelman Memorial Hospital = Smellman

New Jersey
25. Patterson : Barnert Memorial Hospital = Barn Fart

North Carolina
26. Edenton : Chowan Hospital = Chew-on
27. Greensboro : Moses H. Cone Memorial Hospital = Moses Conehead
28. Greenville : Pitt County Memorial Hospital = The Pit
29. Goldsboro : Wayne Memorial Hospital = Drain Memorial
30. Washington : Beaufort County Hospital = Bo Fart

Ohio
31. Zanesville : Good Samaritan Medical Center = Good Sam

Oregon
32. Ontario : Holy Rosary Medical Center = Holy Hosiery

Pennsylvania
33. Ambler : Horsham Hospital (pronounced "HOR-shum") = Horse-um (or) Horse Sh*t
34. Philadelphia : Hospital of the University of Pennsylvania ("HUP") = Hospital of Unusual Physicians (or) Hospital of Unusual Pharmacists (or) Hospital of Unwarranted Precedents

South Carolina
35. Charleston : Medical University of South Carolina ("MUSC") = Musk

Vermont
36. Colchester : Fanny Allen Hospital = Annie's Fallen (rhymes with "Allen")

West Virginia
37. Madison : Boone Memorial Hospital = Poon (from "poontang," a derogatory word for vulva; sex)

Saudi Arabia
38. Riyadh : King Faisal Specialist Hospital and Research Center = King Fizzle

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