44 Rude Names for Hummers

. . . collected from friends, enemies, and various sources.

According to Keith Bradsher, author of High and Mighty: SUVs: The World's Most Dangerous Vehicles and How They Got That Way, one in every six new vehicles sold in the US in 2002 was a Sport Utility Vehicle.

Of course there are rude names for all sorts of cars, but the Humvee, being the biggest, ugliest, most gas-guzzling SUV on the road, is of necessity singled out for special attention. (Please contact me if I have left any really funny, really rude names off this list, thanks!)

The Droll Names

1. bummer
2. dummer
3. S-U-K
4. F-U-Vehicle

The Abomination

5. two-space hog
6. three-ton brick
7. pavement-hogging beast
8. big mofo
9. monstrosity
10. land yacht
11. heavyweight
12. gargantuan
13. behemoth
14. rolling horror
15. biggest choad on the road

The Assault Vehicle

16. urban tank
17. plastic tank
18. death machine

The Ego Machine

19. dick mobile
20. small-penis mobile
21. white trash rig

The Piece of Sh*t

22. sh*tbox
23. slab of sh*t
24. five-ton rolling brick of sh*t
25. giant steaming pile of sh*t
26. turdmobile

The Polluter

27. smog machine
28. planet killer
29. earth f*cker
30. earthraper
31. planet raper
32. pollute-o-car
33. chariot of greed
34. crime against nature
35. ultimate gas guzzler
36. gas-guzzling carbon-emitting oil-dragging monstrosity

The Uglymobile

37. ugly brick
38. ugly rubbish skip
49. ugly truck
40. gaudy heap of crap
41. unsightly hunk of sh*t
42. overrated Tonka toy
43. chrome-fanged monster
44. parody of a car

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