Give A Man A Fish
. . . You have probably heard it said, "Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day; teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime." But have you heard these?
1. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
2. Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach him to use the net and he won't bother you for weeks.
3. Give a man a fish and you'll feed him for a day. Give a man religion and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish.
4. Give a man a fish, then run like hell.
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Browse the Humor section at TomFolio.com
Help a starving bookdealer
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Showing posts with label religion. Show all posts
Showing posts with label religion. Show all posts
08 March 2010
24 December 2009
24 Interfaith Season's Greetings, 2009 Edition
1. To my Christian friends, Merry Christmas!
2. To my Catholic friends, Happy St. Stephen's Day!
3. To my Jewish friends, Happy Chanukah!
4. To my Muslim friends, Eid Mubarak!
5. To my African American friends, Good Kwanzaa!
6. To my Zoroastrian friends, Happy Mithra's Birthday!
7. To my Pagan friends, Blessed Solstice!
8. To my Malaysian friends, Selamat Hari Raya!
9. To my Hindu friends, a belated Shubh Diwali!
10. To my friends in the British Commonwealth: Happy Boxing Day early!
11. To my Universalist Unitarian friends, Happy Thomas Starr King's Birthday!
12. To my interfaith friends, Happy Whichever!
13. To my chorister friends: Throw the Yule Log on Uncle John!
14. To my scientist friends: Enjoy the Perihelion!
15. To my websurfing friends, eGreetings!
16. To my folklore-loving friends: Merry Generic Winter Festival!
17. To my friends in retail: Happy Non-Specific Holiday!
To everyone I haven't mentioned yet, 18. Happy Saturnalia! 19. Happy Brumalia! 20. Oneg Shabbat! 21. Yuletide Greetings! 22. Merry Festivus! 23. Season's Greetings!
24. To my Atheist friends, damn it's cold outside!
And a Kickass New Year to all.
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24 October 2009
31 Four-Letter Religious Organizations
. . . I figure most of us have heard of the Y.M.C.A., but did you know that there were dozens of other similar organizations founded at about the same time with similar aims and names? For some reason they almost always had four initials. Here are a few:
1) A.B.M.U. = American Baptist Missionary Union
2) A.C.Y.O. = Armenian Church Youth Organization
3) A.F.B.S. = American and Foreign Bible Society
4) A.F.B.S. = American and Foreign Bible Society
5) A.H.M.S. = American Home Missionary Society
6) A.S.S.U. = American Sunday School Union
7) B.B.Y.O. = B'nai B'rith Youth Organization (Jewish)
8) B.F.B.S.= British and Foreign Bible Society
9) B.Y.P.U. = Baptist Young People's Union
10) C. & M.A. = Christian and Missionary Alliance
11) C.E.T.S. = Church of England Temperance Society
12) C.M.A. = Christian and Missionary Alliance
13) C.Y.O. = Catholic Youth Organization
14) H.Y.M.A. = Hebrew Young Men's Association
15) K.L.J.B. = Katholische Langjugend Bewegung (German: Catholic Organization of Young People)
16) L.C.T.U. = Ladies Christian Temperance Union
17) L.W.M.A. = Lutheran Women's Missionary Society
18) L.W.M.L. = Lutheran Women's Missionary League
19) R.H.M.A. = Rural Home Missionary Association
20) W.B.T.S. = Watchtower Bible and Tract Society (Jehovah's Witnesses)
21) W.C.T.U. = Women's Christian Temperance Union
22) W.F.M.S. = Women's Foreign Missionary Society
23) W.H.M.S. = Women's Home Missionary Society
24) W.N.M.A. = Women's National Missionary Association (Universalist)
25) Y.M.C.A. = Young Men's Christian Association
26) Y.M.H.A. = Young Men's Hebrew Association
27) Y.P.C.U. = Young People's Christian Union (Universalist)
28) Y.P.R.U. = Young People's Religious Union (Unitarian)
29) Y.P.S.C.E. = Young People's Society of Christian Endeavor
30) Y.P.W.W. = Young People Willing Workers
31) Y.W.C.A. = Young Women's Christian Association
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Please browse my bookstore http://www.gwenfoss.com/
And visit my reputable colleagues http://www.tomfolio.com/
Find more liberal religious history here http://www25.uua.org/uuhs/duub/
END
. . . I figure most of us have heard of the Y.M.C.A., but did you know that there were dozens of other similar organizations founded at about the same time with similar aims and names? For some reason they almost always had four initials. Here are a few:
1) A.B.M.U. = American Baptist Missionary Union
2) A.C.Y.O. = Armenian Church Youth Organization
3) A.F.B.S. = American and Foreign Bible Society
4) A.F.B.S. = American and Foreign Bible Society
5) A.H.M.S. = American Home Missionary Society
6) A.S.S.U. = American Sunday School Union
7) B.B.Y.O. = B'nai B'rith Youth Organization (Jewish)
8) B.F.B.S.= British and Foreign Bible Society
9) B.Y.P.U. = Baptist Young People's Union
10) C. & M.A. = Christian and Missionary Alliance
11) C.E.T.S. = Church of England Temperance Society
12) C.M.A. = Christian and Missionary Alliance
13) C.Y.O. = Catholic Youth Organization
14) H.Y.M.A. = Hebrew Young Men's Association
15) K.L.J.B. = Katholische Langjugend Bewegung (German: Catholic Organization of Young People)
16) L.C.T.U. = Ladies Christian Temperance Union
17) L.W.M.A. = Lutheran Women's Missionary Society
18) L.W.M.L. = Lutheran Women's Missionary League
19) R.H.M.A. = Rural Home Missionary Association
20) W.B.T.S. = Watchtower Bible and Tract Society (Jehovah's Witnesses)
21) W.C.T.U. = Women's Christian Temperance Union
22) W.F.M.S. = Women's Foreign Missionary Society
23) W.H.M.S. = Women's Home Missionary Society
24) W.N.M.A. = Women's National Missionary Association (Universalist)
25) Y.M.C.A. = Young Men's Christian Association
26) Y.M.H.A. = Young Men's Hebrew Association
27) Y.P.C.U. = Young People's Christian Union (Universalist)
28) Y.P.R.U. = Young People's Religious Union (Unitarian)
29) Y.P.S.C.E. = Young People's Society of Christian Endeavor
30) Y.P.W.W. = Young People Willing Workers
31) Y.W.C.A. = Young Women's Christian Association
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Please browse my bookstore http://www.gwenfoss.com/
And visit my reputable colleagues http://www.tomfolio.com/
Find more liberal religious history here http://www25.uua.org/uuhs/duub/
END
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