03 October 2009

24 Best, Worst and Funniest P e n i s E n l a r g e m e n t Spam Headers

. . . Why in the world would anyone collect these revolting spam headers? Because they're freakin' hilarious, that's why! No, I don't sell this stuff, I certainly don't buy this stuff, and I don't know anyone who does. But I'm not above hooting and hollering at their attempts to sell it. [My comments are in brackets.]


Engrish : Translated by amateurs, spell-checked by computers, typed by illiterates

1. Whiteness, those pediments that rise

2. Are U Tir with erectile ?
[How could any man be "tire" with "erectile?"]

3. Take her to seven heaven

4. Do not feel shy of your device size.

5. Bored about problems in bed? Perk up now! Leave odd experience behind! Urgent aid is accessable!
[Desperately in need of a good thesaurus.]

6. Your girl does not want to jazz it with you by reason of your aggregate size.

7. Haarder Etections
[Bad spelling invoked just to foil spam filters. See, it worked.]

8. master in bed are you
[Holy crap, Yoda is selling this stuff!]

9. of be blown
[Who's missing from this sentence?]

10. Amazing enhancement for the ever men only here.
[I've been looking for the ever man my whole life.]

11. Lion desire ingredient
[Sheer poetry.]

12. Shopping at Candaian Healtchare you may be absolutely sure that you uby medicaiton of the best possible quality, licensed and working.


Seriously, nitwits, is this your best selling point?

13. A pastor calls parishioners to have sex every day
[Translation: We sell only to good Christians.]

14. Wow emotions is just a blink away!

15. If you want the effective result it is better

16. still got that little thing dangling between your legs huh?
[You mean my wallet?]

17. Magic pill for dreaded problem

18. We will bring in your house eveyrthing that you will order.
[Hell, no, you are not coming in my house.]

19. Emotional volcano is just a few steps away!
[Here it comes! Get the hell out of the way!!]


Dangerous Side Effects : What are you doing, hiring a hitman?


21. BodypartThumpingMollie

22. ShlongBiggishLiliana

23. Be a lethal weapon in the bedroom


24. The Acrostic To End All Acrostics

[Sure, acrostics were a popular form of amusement . . . about 150 years ago. Oh my God, maybe this email has been around since 1860!]

M -- Men always would like, that at them all was more, than at others
E -- Enlarge your manhood today and reap all the benefits
G -- Guys get jealous now when they see me in the bathroom
A -- And now make a real step to this - buy our means for increase of the member
D -- Do not let ladies prefer dildo to you!
I -- If the man speaks you, that to him all the same with what at him the size of the member - he dissembles
K -- Know her from the sexual side how is she inside exactly.

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